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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

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It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness. It is a main goal within the realm of M/s and seen as being an accomplishment. A slave who reaches a state of " Internal Enslavement" is seen as having transcended basic slavery and being fully enslaved.

Wow... I can appreciate that you are hurting and are probably wanting to view your past relationship in the most negative light as possible in order to distance yourself from it. However, painting M/s relationships with the broad negative brush is really sad.

I am not a slave to him because I have a mental illness. I am a slave to him because I have no other natural response to him exercising authority. He has never sought to make me dependent on him for anything much less the 'basic necessities of life' and yet I can no more walk away from this relationship that he can. Our relationship fulfills all three of us in ways that we have no desire to have any other life.

Internal enslavement is a result of who I am not a result of a mental defect he has contrived.

Knight's Kyra

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

It is always sad when one sees a potential train wreck in the making but their is nothing one can do to stop it. It is as clear to me now as it was before that your understanding and beliefs of how to have a Healthy M/s dynamic is lacking. It is all the more unfortunate since it result in the train wreck that you find yourself in.

I always find it amazing that people like to put things in stages when people are little more complex than that. In fact, it's more like a path with many lanes that you keep switch from lane to lane as you continue on your given path. I see much denial in your post and anger is rather obvious. Bargaining can also be stated as rationalizing and this is something you are doing in spades. Rationalizing why you made those choices. In fact, your rationalizing seems to be minimizing your own responsibilities on the train wreck you found yourself in. I have no doubt that you feel deeply saddened by what has happen in your life but lashing out at M/s dynamics as whole is not going to bring you to acceptance. But it sure to bring you to bitterment.

yes.. my comments are harsh and many would see as heartless. But frankly, I see way to many that take paths that are ultimately dooms of failure regardless what common sense tells us. It is truly unfortunate what you have experienced and even more unfortunate that you are not alone with such an experience. It is equally complicated by the fact that this is not about weak people or even predators that cause such experiences to occur. Some very well meaning people on both sides of the coin find themselves in such train wrecks. I don't think we can point to one given cause to such train wrecks even though it seems to be the natural reaction to cast blame outward when things go badly.

You imply that you are grieving... but what exactly is it that you are grieving? A lost to a bad relationship? Or is it something within yourself? Maybe it's more the grieving of a lost to realizing the expectations you had going into this relationship. I think when we realize that we don't have to give up our expecations of joy, happiness and love in a relationship we find hope for the future. The lost of a relationship is not the end of our dreams and hopes unless we choose it to be. We sit in a room lit by a light bulb because a man chose not to give up on his hopes and dreams even though he found many ways not to make a light bulb work. What matters is finding the one way to makes that light bulb work.

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So is the point of this entire post an argument that you are not responsible for your failed relationship because you were internally enslaved which is just like Stockholm syndrome?

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I am the one who believed that I could not survive without him. I am the one who believed I was incapable of life after him or leaving.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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I am the one who believed that I could not survive without him. I am the one who believed I was incapable of life after him or leaving.

I think your own words here express what I saw as a root problem for so many that seem to enter into these relationships.

Huge red flag when one presents a point of view that they can't survive without their Master. I suppose it's great for weaker ego Dominants to have their ego's puffed up by such thoughts from their partners. But... those words have an implication that is far from healthy in my view.

I am sure that some find it rather romantic to consider them incapable of life after him or leaving him. But again the implications of such a thought is far from healthy....

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ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

Zevar,
Thank you. I just spent sometime reading that. I will save it as well. I am sure I will look back on it a few times. I appreciate it.

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Of course it is a result of the negative things that were occuring in my TPE, otherwise I never would have arrived at the conclusions that I have. However, I geralize it because I see the same types of things happening in most other IE/ TPE situations I have observed or read about.

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ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

The slave comes to think of their very life being a gift from the Master and seeing him as having the right to revoke that right. The slave comes to rely on their owner for the very basic necessities in life.

i have never felt submission to this degree. i have never felt gratitude to Someone for "the gift of life". i don't know whether to admire your devotion or criticise your common sense. i have felt obsessive devotion, but never so strongly that i felt Someone had the right to take my life if they wanted to.

It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness.

i'm not very experienced, but i disagree that this is what the M/s relationship is supposed to be like. i don't think you should judge the whole community off of one bad relationship. i'm sure there are Masters who try to emotionally criple their slaves, but it's not every Master, not "the world of BDSM". You just had the misfortune of dealing with one very unscrupulous person.

i do think that the M/s relationship encourages a slave to feel need for their Master, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. i would argue that all love is based on attachment and need. It can be a healthy thing, i think, this "needing" another person, as long as you don't get too carried away. The danger is needing them too much, to the point where is becomes an addiction; where you think you can't live without them. i've been there, and you're right. It's a very dangerous place.

Hatred swirled within me and reason and logic were not to be found.

Yes, exactly. Hope you're doing better now. Little by little, life does return to "normal", if you can believe it. Good luck.

pam

~ Maggi

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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Firstly, how the hell can you equate Stockholm syndrome to anything that is consensual?  You obviously do not know the mechanics of Stockholm syndrome which is triggered by the unpredictable or irrational behavior of an abusive captor in a non-consensual environment, where the captive gets feelings of love or adulation when they mistake their lack of abuse for affection.  I think you have an over active imagination.

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It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness. It is a main goal within the realm of M/s and seen as being an accomplishment. A slave who reaches a state of " Internal Enslavement" is seen as having transcended basic slavery and being fully enslaved.

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ORIGINAL: exploringsiren

Yes, Stockholm Syndrome and abuse exist, it is a sad fact of life, and it is very important to discuss these issues .  However, the OP's assertion of:

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It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness. It is a main goal within the realm of M/s and seen as being an accomplishment. A slave who reaches a state of " Internal Enslavement" is seen as having transcended basic slavery and being fully enslaved.

This assertion/claim is what I think needs to be addressed/challenged in the OP is that M/s encourages and supports the idea that a person should/needs to develop a mental defect in order to serve. 

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Of course BDSM is nothing to do with abuse. Abuse has reached well outside the boundaries of BDSM and there is no longer a relationship between the two.
I also don't believe that an abusive person is any more likely to find a woman he/she can abuse within this lifestyle than a woman outside of this lifestyle.

Dominant does not = abuser.
Abuser = Abuser

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am sure that some find it rather romantic to consider them incapable of life after him or leaving him. But again the implications of such a thought is far from healthy.

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many talk about the slaves limites becomes the Masters limits. To me the more accurate point is the Master's limits and slaves limits becomes the Relationship's limits. Total Authority doens't dictate without limits or boundaries. It just means the Master could if he so choose to disregard those boundaries and limits... but the consequences of those choices are on him... and I have yet to see a relationship last that disregarded those boundaries. The health and well being of my relationship is my first priority... in order to do that sucessful... I have to have my girls know and protect their boundaries.