RE: Control

RE: Control (Full Version)

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sophiesback -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 9:34:09 AM)
sees "Control" scroll across her screen as she's checking email Runs in belting out lyrics of "Pussy Controoool" Exits Stage Left

sophiesback -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 9:36:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I am going to go with what ml says up there. Control is control. Whether or not it is consensual is not relevant. Of course... it is not always a situation where the thing is permanant. I turn on the ignition and drive my car where I want. But there are times my car protests and refuses as when my water pump went out last month. The car got to sit it out at a mechanic while I walked. This made me giggle. I hate it when material possessions are able to Dom me! [8D]

NorthernGent -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 2:08:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin On the other side of the site a random profile popped up with this statement. "Control must be given, if it is taken it is not true control." It sparked some thoughts in my coffee deficient brain. If the statement is true, what is control if taken? Is it coercion? Oppression? Domination? If control is given, is it indeed true control? or just the illusion of control? especially if you believe that what is given can just as easily be taken back... Many a tool will accomplish control.....some of those being oppressive.....some of those being empowering...... Philosphically speaking....you could argue that control must be given by virtue of free will......although that assumes that we're all well informed rational human beings......

NorthernGent -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 2:10:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone Just thinking (typing??) aloud here..... is it possible that control can both be taken and given at the same time. I think that sometimes it is a more organic process that is more about the interplay between the two people rather than one person either taking control or the other ceding. I dunno though, control is control. One person either has it or they don't and as long as the other person is ok with the other person having control how this happened is not that important - in my opinion. The problem you'll find here Wanders....is that control is the objective......and much of this thread will be about the means to the end.....

Focus50 -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 3:05:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin On the other side of the site a random profile popped up with this statement. "Control must be given, if it is taken it is not true control." It sparked some thoughts in my coffee deficient brain. If the statement is true, what is control if taken? Is it coercion? Oppression? Domination? If control is given, is it indeed true control? or just the illusion of control? especially if you believe that what is given can just as easily be taken back... A few years back, these Boards had a small band wagon touting "authority transfer" in place of Power Exchange. The big flaw (IMO) was that it amounts to the Dominant being a power/control eunuch until empowered by the submissive and panders to the nonsense that the submissive therefore has all the power and control in a D/s relationship; of even deciding if there will be a relationship.... pffft This "Control must be given" is of the same fluff. In a healthy D/s relationship, it's consent that must be given (AND desired by the other) and the control factor takes care of itself. IE, any D/s relationship depends and is defined by an unequal control dynamic. Of course the submissive gets to withdraw consent (control) any time they desire. But as far as this Dom is concerned, she only gets to play that relationship ending card once. Focus.

RealSub58 -> RE: Control (9/2/2010 3:43:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Personally, I find the statement misses the point in what I think of as "control". Between Carol and I, the totality of the picture is that she gives control and I take it because she is submissive and I am dominant. If she was unwilling to give control it wouldn't work. If I was unwilling to take it, it wouldn't work. In my marriage, dominance and submission work hand in hand. A whole pie = control Each whole pie can be cut into 4's, 6's, 8th's...etc Does an eager sub give the whole pie of control or little by little?

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