RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 11:34:31 AM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Hey... I got a big red cage that would be a good "protector", nothing could get in to harm her. While she was in that cage, I would take it "under consideration" whether or not she had behaved properly and deserved food or water.

Come over my house little impatient little girl . . . there are cookies, multiple orgasms, self realization and an insta-dom in that big red cage, honest there is.

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 11:38:10 AM

EastbourneCouple

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Joined: 6/18/2010
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I agree with most of whathas been said, especially ResidentSadist.

I always think of it this way (and these numbers are not based on any real stats, but for the sake of argument) -

If you take 1,000,000 people, chances are maybe only 10% of them are into BDSM, of those 100,000 again maybe only 50% are dominant, of those 50,000 perhaps only 10% of them are into what you're looking for (this will of course vary depending on your kinks). So now you're only left with 5,000 people who may be suitable out of the original million. That is 0.5% - so for every 200 profiles you look at, only 1 will be a potential match.

OK, of course on a BDSM related site you're only dealing with those into BDSM, therefore the chances are greater - so you are doing the right thing by joining these sites, discussing with others in the forums etc. but don't give up after such a short time.

If you really want it, you will find it, but be patient and enjoy the ride. You will meet and chat with some fantastic people on the way, and some assholes, but that's life.

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 11:39:36 AM

EastbourneCouple

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LOVE the cage RS! Where did you get it?

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 11:47:22 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

How can you be frustrated after being here only a month? Some are here for years.

Your profile states you are under consideration with someone. Why not see how that is going or are you complaining about that relationship?

And I think there are a number of people in your area online here, so I am sure there is a community you can find if you look.

Precisely. I've been here for going on 2.5 years now, and I haven't found jack squat as far as "relationship material". I've met some intriguing candidates, but thusfar no perfect match. Is it frustrating? Not really. I mean, I would LOVE to have a sub in my household again, someone to draw me a bath, bring me a drink for whilst I lay there and give me a massage afterward when I get home from work. So that is kind of disappointing and annoying, but only on a purely greedy level. ;)

On the other hand, I've met some amazing people whom I treasure and cherish. And to me, that's far more important. And, god only knows what tomorrow may bring.

Sometimes one should stop focusing so much on the narrow and specific details, and just go with the flow a bit more. Life is way too short to focus simply on one thing.

Now, if I could just find me a real and traditional Geisha somewhere...

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 11:49:16 AM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

If you take 1,000,000 people, chances are maybe only 10% of them are into BDSM, of those 100,000 again maybe only 50% are dominant, of those 50,000 perhaps only 10% of them are into what you're looking for (this will of course vary depending on your kinks). So now you're only left with 5,000 people who may be suitable out of the original million. That is 0.5% - so for every 200 profiles you look at, only 1 will be a potential match.

That's what I said!

The hardest part will be finding a philosopher who can be described as "stable".

My mind cannot fathom the probabilities involved...

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/28/2010 3:55:04 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

LOVE the cage RS! Where did you get it?

Many years ago, the cage was originally built as a gift to a beautiful Swedish Domme that lived near me in Florida. The Domme loaned it to me for date I had with Slave Chick (story link) whom I had flown in from Texas.
Cage in black

The Domme and I cared very much about each other and I knew she always wanted a to have a red cage. So I had an auto body shop paint the cage Ferrari red before I returned it. Later, the Domme was moving out of the state and it was impractical to move that heavy cage, so she gave it to me as a gift.

I love that cage too, if you can really call it a cage. It is more like a small apartment with bars. It has had internet & laptop, phone, DVD player, reading light, snack rack, radio, and etc.

My girl everhope was the last to occupy the cage, we moved 2 weeks ago and it currently sits disassembled in the garage. When she first came here I started a thread called: -=She is caged, any questions?=-

everhope - "Ouch"
everhope - "Halp"

In it's history, it has had several visitors and a few residence. Even a doctor I met on CM had the cutest dogs who fell in love with the cage. Long ago and far away, I wrote an article called -=Caged Perspectives=- to share I hoped a potential slave would get from her cage time.

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RE: Online Vs. Real Life Persuit of Relationships - 8/29/2010 8:40:41 PM

Nineveh

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I've had some good luck online, and also some bad luck.It makes it easier to find people that are into what I am into and it also allows me to get physical appearance out of the way while we explore one another's minds (I'm neither ugly nor shallow, however I know that how someone looks is going to cause assumptions in my mind and color how I interact with her, it can help to talk without seeing one another for a while before those assumptions come into play) The disadvantages are that people come across differently online than they do face to face. We act differently even when we aren't attempting to put up a front. It also is really difficult when you find that person that seems like a perfect match and hey she lives thousands of miles away. Or, as has happened to me for the first time just recently. She only wants something online. That's a pain that I know I really couldn't have related to until it happened to me. In fact, if me now were to go to me a few months ago and explain what has happened younger me would laugh at older me for being foolish enough to let feelings get tangled up in something that wasn't going to be anywhere but online. Still hurts a lot though.

I can understand about not having a local BDSM scene, I never have and having to drive an hour or more for a social event that may not lead to a worthwhile connection is definitely frustrating. However it certainly may be a more productive approach than looking online, as far as I have heard from those with successful relationships.

The forum here I find to be very helpful as far as sharpening my thinking about all of this, seeing how other people perceive it and better appreciating how I do so that I can keep from putting obstacles up for myself that are not needed. I don't really look at it as a place to meet someone. It might happen, but if I came into it with that goal I believe I would both miss the opportunity for self exploration and become extremely frustrated.

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