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Fetish Style for Men - 8/16/2010 10:43:00 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I understand that fetish wear is sexy. In fact, I love leather, latex, lace, pvc, body paint, ribbons, etc... On women. It doesn't bother me on men, but I certainly don't prefer it. Personally, I do not feel invigorated when I don male fetish wear. I feel like a gimp.

What DOES make me drunk with power is a tailored three piece suit. Black, pinstripe, sharp shoes, powertie in a full Windsor. Or maybe a crushed velvet smoking jacket. Or a sports tux... You get the idea - I like a stodgy look that looks to where a man's man has a gentleman's gentleman.

However, I feel I would be noticeably unwelcome in any establishment that requires fetish wear as a dress code.

I know my individual questions can be solved with a phone call to the club, but what are your thoughts?

What alternatives are there for men who refuse to wear latex or leather?
In your experience, in the public places you play, does looking classy pass for men?
How do you feel about men in fetish gear - does it enhance the experience for you?


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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/16/2010 10:55:21 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline 		Well, I am not sure what to tell you. I can tell you though that I am of similiar vein in that I enjoy dressing up in business professional on occasion. However, I went to Beat Me in St. Louis, Kinky Kollege and Black Rose dressed that way and the results were less than spectacular. My thought process was that if I as a male submissive was shown to have a fresh haircut, nice tailored and pressed clothes, Marine Corps spit shined shoes, etc. then I would make a good impression as someone who genuinely cared about themselves. Instead in all three instances people avoided me, I would start conversations and people would walk away within a few minutes, and overall I finally ended up leaving the events early to change clothes. One of my friends pointed out that I came across as high maintenance and my response to that was that if I took 20 minutes to get ready for an event where people thought that I was high maintenance because I took pride in my appearance, then perhaps I needed to find a better class of people! Anyways, during one of the events I remember seeing another male submissive dressed in similiar fashion. He pretty much got shunned and I believe he ended up leaving extremely early also and not coming back. I am not sure why the attitudes were this way Heavenskeeper, but I can tell you that this has been the subject of many late night conversations between me and my friends who were in attendence at those events. Talk about an interesting social phenomenom. What I found quite ironic and sadly funny was that when I changed into my normal clothes then all of that social shunning disappeared.

< Message edited by Saint -- 8/16/2010 10:56:52 PM >

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/16/2010 11:08:25 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I don't wear fetish wear and I've never owned (or desired) a suit. Mostly I think male fetish wear is cheesy, as is most versions of the "Dom's uniform", such as full-length black leather coats....

While I'm completely at ease with my own casual dress sense, I always allow for women tending to go that extra yard when it comes to dressing and grooming etc. But I still don't like latex - fullstop. Women have lovely soft and smooth skin and I prefer my girl mostly wearing clothes that are equally soft and smooth to touch. Shiny petroleum products are another pet hate....

I have clothes that would qualify as my version of a "power outfit" nonetheless. But I don't strut at munches or play in public etc so I don't dress for an audience; I dress for *me*....

Focus.

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/17/2010 7:52:50 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Most clubs in Europe insist on fetish gear to keep vanilla people out who just come to take a peek, it seems a bit different in the US, where I saw people dressed in all sorts of clothes at fetish events. The idea behind the fetish clothes (also always a rather strict "no cameras" rule) is that you can't be outing others by claiming "Oh I stumbled into him/her when I went to the club not knowing what it was/just went there because I was curious..." If there is a dress code in place, you can't just have dropped in by mistake, also I found that I am simply more comfy in a place where a lot of people are in fetish gear, especially if I feel like playing, it feels more like you are among like minded people, not people who come to watch the freak show.

Now fetish gear doesn't mean you have to go and buy a lot of stuff, usually leather pants, boots (no sneakers or trainers) and a black shirt are alright in most places, if you don't want to invest that much, you can always improvise or invest a lot less in say vinyl pants (personally I think they look really naff on men, but hey...) or a kilt, do the Goth thing... The clubs want you to make the effort, just so that there is a more relaxed feeling.

Personally I really really don't mind wearing leather ;)

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/18/2010 4:09:31 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I had a huge post on this, but realized it's kind of tangential, and I don't participate in those scenes (in my own country) where a dress code is relevant, so my experience is highly anecdotal.

My personal preference is black simplicity and unbifurcated legwear, or variations on the theme of uniforms. As for uniforms, I have always had a fondness for the Gestapo service uniform, or the attendant black leather overcoat, minus insignia (obviously... the bastards were part of the occupation, after all). The overcoat is fairly infamous and recognizeable, so I would not recommend wearing it while looking like one is planning anything other than a costume party.

Health,
al-Aswad.



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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/18/2010 4:29:59 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Here is what I like:

Either a well cut, fabulous suit, crisp shirt, interesting tie, nice cuff links, classy watch and shoes

or........

black t-shirt, well fitting jeans, leather belt, boots and leather jacket.

Yummy.

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/18/2010 4:39:20 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		At the few fetish events I've attended, people have worn "standard" fetish gear, but they've also gone Victorian/Steampunk, military, Goth, and full formal tux.

If you like the gentlemanly look, go with something even more over the top than you've been wearing. If you like pinstripes, go for a full vintage gangster suit. If you like velvet smoking jackets, get something Victorian or Regency-inspired. You could even go with the Romantic era, a la Lord Byron.

Personally, I love a man in velvet and poet shirts as much as I enjoy fetish attire. It depends on the person and what we'll be doing. I'm pretty flexible regarding the wardrobe. If you're willing to spend the money, you can have something custom made in a style you like but incorporating fetish materials such as leather or latex.

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/18/2010 6:10:39 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, I’m thinking this is more ‘fetish’ than the lot of you are looking for in your men.

This is me from last Halloween. You can tell it’s me because….. well, you’re just going to have to believe me. I nearly won a costume contest at a bar/restaurant that our munch group was at, but they said I was too scary looking, and gave me 2nd place instead. Humph. There was a drunk waitress there, and she was literally screaming at me because I wouldn’t say anything, just sort of cock my head at her. She thought I was the most unnatural thing EVER. (Of course, she might have had a point.)

Jeff





Attachment (1)

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/18/2010 9:14:08 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Nice Outfit mstrjx. Is that Rubber?

As for the question, I don't own a suit, but don't see any problems if you feel confy in one.

I went to a couple munches, and dressed semi normal, except for my Mary Janes, and maybe a Leotard under my pants.

I would love to get s Zoot Suit, but not sure if my Dear Wife would let me out in one, even if I could afford one.

I didn't see any fetish wer much there either, mostly Jeans on the males and females.

I guess what I am trying to say is, wear what makes you feel good. Mary Janes make me feel good, wo if Wing Tips does it for you, go right ahead.

En Pointe and Loving it, sub BalletBob

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/19/2010 3:29:30 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Zentai. Stretchy and comfy spandex. And not so difficult to see as you might think.

Jeff

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/19/2010 11:25:24 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Puuuulllleeeeze
Wear the black Armani suit.
Always in, never out.
Do it with style.


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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/19/2010 11:28:31 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Yeah, I’m thinking this is more ‘fetish’ than the lot of you are looking for in your men.

This is me from last Halloween. You can tell it’s me because….. well, you’re just going to have to believe me. I nearly won a costume contest at a bar/restaurant that our munch group was at, but they said I was too scary looking, and gave me 2nd place instead. Humph. There was a drunk waitress there, and she was literally screaming at me because I wouldn’t say anything, just sort of cock my head at her. She thought I was the most unnatural thing EVER. (Of course, she might have had a point.)

Jeff






Hey! Weren't you in Pulp Fiction?

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/19/2010 11:52:46 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
I know my individual questions can be solved with a phone call to the club, but what are your thoughts?

What alternatives are there for men who refuse to wear latex or leather?
In your experience, in the public places you play, does looking classy pass for men?
How do you feel about men in fetish gear - does it enhance the experience for you?


MP actually doesn't own any leather, with the exception of a brown leather jacket from years ago.  In fact, he's never worn that to a club at all.  He doesn't own the pants.  Any other items of leather that he would have purchased were nixed after our discussion of "old" leather.  Latex for him is definitely out (his preference).

Things he has worn in the past that have gotten a VERY good reception have included suits.  (I will give the man serious credit here.  He has excellent taste in tailored suits.  I'll direct you to his profile for the pic.)  He's also worn costumes at themed events.  If he wants a little more casual attire, he'll stick with basic black pants.  This can be with either a button down shirt or even a t-shirt with some kind of BDSM thing written on it.  He actually does have one that has his scene name on it with "ow is not a safe word" that matches one he had made for Me.



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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/19/2010 12:26:21 PM   
Scotty306134


Posts: 172
Joined: 5/16/2004
Status: offline 		I've attended several BDSM Events. Admittedly there were very few attendees in suits. At the first one I was tied over a bench being paddled. While it was going on I noticed a man standing observing the scene going on. He watched maybe 5 minutes then moved on. He was wearing a good looking suit and carried a briefcase... I thought it strange in our enviorment, but I figured it was His kink. After He moved on maybe 15 mins later we heard screaming from the other side of the venue. Turns out He was from the local county Vice Squad and was vidiotapeing the activites with His briefcase for future prosecution of the building owners! There was another male at that event and a following Black Rose event dressed in a tuxedo. He had a very outgoing personality. He loved to serve as a butler and was very popular.

< Message edited by Scotty306134 -- 8/19/2010 12:28:02 PM >

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/22/2010 6:40:55 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I have to say, I like the whole costume party aspect of it, I just don't wear anything I can't wear on the street - i.e., leather chaps or something, I don't think I could pull that off.

I've always liked black anyway, I have several pairs of Levis skinny jeans, jet black, even the thread and rivets, very nice, Black tee shirts, etc. About the only thing I own that might qualify as fetish gear is a long Black leather overcoat - I spend a lot of time outdoors, and have a lot of long coats, they cut the wind better - the leather one will be a raincoat after I get the mink oil worked in.

I don't own a suit, nobody wears them here except the old guys, like senior citizens. I do own sportcoats, and I'm on the lookout for a good Linen or Silk suit - Silk is very versatile, warm in winter, cool in summer. Very sad, so many people dont' realize how gauche it is to show up at a wedding or a funeral in jeans and flannel - the bride always appreciates it if you make at least some effort.

< Message edited by xssve -- 8/22/2010 6:41:27 AM >

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/23/2010 2:10:11 PM   
AdiosPantalones


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Puuuulllleeeeze
Wear the black Armani suit.
Always in, never out.
Do it with style.



I Love my Armani and feel like a million bucks every time I get in it.
To the OP, yes, I "get it" Wear what you like and judge the response. It will be different with every person. I've gotten the "who do you think you are?" look, but have also gotten the "i'm gonna drop to my knees and suck you right here" look! lol.

To each their own...

< Message edited by AdiosPantalones -- 8/23/2010 2:11:14 PM >

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/23/2010 2:29:34 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Heh. I accompanied a tuxedo-wearing submissive man to a market afterparty once.

He was extremely well-received, as I recall-lots of people mentioned the tux afterwards




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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/23/2010 2:48:27 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		And I know that he feels great wearing it, too.  Even if he actually likes wearing it and isn't ordered to wear it against his will. 

That second sentence might only make sense to a submale, on reflection . . . .

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/23/2010 2:48:39 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx





Must look away! Can't seem to stop staring....strangely compelling and hypnotising....please, oh god why can't I look away? (cries)

Jeff, that is seriously scary. Seriously

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RE: Fetish Style for Men - 8/23/2010 3:06:50 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance


Jeff, that is seriously scary. Seriously

And yet, there you are.

Jeff

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