Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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I don't enumerate it that way anymore. I have found things that are worth more than any money, or even a cat. (I would nevfer hurt a cat, I hit one a bit too hard once and emotionally it felt like I killed my Mother)
But on topic, there was a time when I would whine about how I didn't have all the advantages, but now if I could go back in time I would smack myself upside the head.
I was reading at least at the third grade level before I ever even went to kindergarten. I was taught that your value as a human being is what you do. That generated one hell of a work ethic. I have never had a big problem finding a job. I was instilled with curiousity, and reading ? I had already read just about an entire encyclopedia before I walked in the door, to kindergarten.
My Father is dead now and it seems he gets smarter nonetheless. My Mother lives, but sometimes even as she sleeps she gets smarter. This 80 year old guy, a good neighbor really, I want some time to talk with him. Betcha he's pretty damn smart by now eh ?
We had hard times, poverty and the olman was a drunk and we heard Ma on the phone crying. That motherf...... runs off to Michigan because he was wanted and needed time to get things fixed, leaving Mom to take care of us on our own. Later, we decided to try to make a new start in New Mexico and he was all up and down about it. Like "Bitch, I am putting you in jail for kidnapping my kids". He could be a real asshole.
But I am not bitching about it at all, what's more I think some of this bad stuff helped me to be stronger. Maybe, one day I was pissed at the olman, he came up the stairs and demanded I silence my [googal] watt stereo and punched me in the face. So I punched nim back and probaly took out a tooth or two. I have never lost an adult tooth and had to have some of my baby teeth pulled. They would not come out.
He was pretty much Polok and German. There was some Prussian in the familt but I'm not sure I got any of that blood. She is Slovak and Polok. She was demure in earlier years, but after raising us she became a very strong Woman, and I mean VERY strong. She can destroy you without lifting a finger. She got her good job from which she retired and then needed a quad bypass. Now this is where you get a real glimpse.
If she had croaked broke, we wouldn't care so much. But she made a couple of good moves and is doing well. Wanna buy our spare house ? You see the wat I saw it when she went in for that bypass, was that she worked so hard to support us kids, for so long, with little or no help from the olman, that she deserves this time.
After I pretty much reeducated her (details on request in mail) she got her good job. She got her good job and when she got into her 60s all they did was throw money at her. She was head of the purchasing department. Damnear an executive, after having shit jobs all her life. But that is such a wierd story, because I learned most of my business accumen off the olman. I knew how to present it to her, and after all I learned from her, she learned a couple things from me. But that has no bearing on the fact that my Mother is the person on Earth that I respect the most, and that will never change.
Making $75 a week, she paid $25 to some Baptist assholes to watch me for a whole fucking three hours or so between the time I got out of school nd she got out of work. Later I became what some now call a latchkey kid. A third of her fucking pay ?
I hope I did well enough. Even with the drinking, drugs and parties, I quit school at 16 and went to work. I made what she did at the time and I gave her half my takehome pay. This helped the family, and I had plenty of money to blow, thus I became a bit spoiled, but at least I spoiled myself.
But one day long ago she said to me "Go to hell with your Father", and I did. That is when my mind started coming together despite the fact that we drank alot. I was 17 and going to Cubar's drinking on his tab. He paid it every week, a drop in the bucket. I had access to a couple grand at all times. One time he comes home and blows off a gun into the cieling saying that someone tole a hundred bucks off him. He was drunk as fuck and strip searche my friends and I who were enjoying a bit of Mother Nature, if you know what I mean. He was really fucked up.
But you knw what, I wouldn't trade my backgroung for anyone else's. Based on money or not, if I had to trade my first childhood for being an heir to the throne somewhere, with untold riches and all that, I would not do it. I mean exactly what happened to me made me what I am and it was not all pleasant. Well, sometime life is not all that pleasant either, so isnm't it better to be ready ? I mean that drunk asshole pissed on the bookshelves. But that is part of life. I refuse to hate. I don't hat my ex-hillbillies who skied out of here with my only working DVD player and all the money out of my wallet.
I have taken action and they should know to stay out of second district. Wonder why my warrants disappear in Cleveland, wonder why I damn near can't get into jail her. Wonder, and I want him to wonder. I want them to wonder enought to stay away. I don't hate them, but I never want to see them again. [details on request] But I could cost him his job easily, and his life if I care to. But it's just not in me. I have learned my way out of stupid reaction into sane response. I fucked him up with the store he trades food stamps for oney for crack, and other stores around here will watch him like a hawk. What's more if he gets stopped anywhere in second district in this town, he will probably be treated like a felony stopo, and probably have to undergo a body cavity search on the side of the road.
On the other hand someone else, in a 4WD, no licinse or insurance, actually doing somethng wrong can walk home, while he goes to prison for a roach. This other someone also has weed, and who knows what else but the car is never searched, and 2 out of 3 times did not even get towed.
You tell me who is on top of things now. That other person is me, and all those stops ae not even showing up. I threw the tickets out at 70MPH on I90. He has to drive 100 miles to go to court to keep his license, WHICH I HELPED HIM GET.
And that is the best of it. The olman told me a very long time ago "Don't take shit from anybody". I asked if that meant Mom, he said nobody. That backfired on him a bit because at that point that meant don't take it from him either.
The olman was always big, but I still threw him across the room. One time I threw a refrigerator at him. One day when we were in business he took all the monet and I needed gas and beer. I tore the office door off the hinges. Son of a bitch, and he was. My Grandma Ruth was not to be fucked with.
This is not bullshit, and I am actually thankful for the hard times, because we know the world is going down the tubes and it will be dog eat dog.
I appreciate that, and believe it or not we are the black sheep. My Ma had to work because the olman got busted running a chop shop. He and his ilk doubled the resale value of early 1960s Corvettes, that was their specialty. Details available on request. But as a black sheep I have to work. Everyone from the last generation on both sides of my my family are either dead or set for life, in suburbia to boot. Money means nothing to them, and I won't ever ask them for a dime. That is against our ethics.
That is why it fucks up my pride to seek public assistance to get my eye fixed and mayne find out why I am so tired all the time. This goes totally aginst my grain, rubs me the wrong way and whatever you want to call it. I do not want to, I have to or I am going to once again lose everything I own. But then do I want to die with everything or live with nothing ?
That is the question.
Sorry about the typos, but I can't hardly see shit these days.
Be well.
T
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i am grateful to my parents for... - 
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