Lessons learned and passed on to others

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Missokyst -> Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 8:53:41 AM)
I was a fairly decent mother. I could take my kids just about anywhere and people would comment on how well behaved they seemed. I guess I am a bit like my control freak mother when it came to teaching my kids how to act in different environments. I hated that as a kid, but it served me well as a parent with a bit of tweaking so that it was not so obviously, "because I said so". When my children were growing up I tried to teach them to take care of their things. I taught them how to wash, iron, cook, and how to watch out for each other because in the end they would be the ones they could rely on when things were bad. They had compassion for animals and things weaker than they were. We talked about how fitting in was not easy for many people but if they could help out in some way to make other people feel comfortable they would be helping to make the world a nicer place. And we talked about sex and responsibility. We discussed desire, hormones, need, rose colored glasses and financial upkeep of kids. We talked about bills, clothing and how it is not necessary to buy those 50 dollar jeans just because everyone else has them. I told my sons that if they got a girl pregnant and they were living with me they better get used to not going out with their friends because they WOULD be working to help support that child. I told my daughters that if they got pregnant they would need to work out the cost of having the child and raising it. I let them know that I would be there to help, but that the bulk will end up on the person who holds that baby in their arms night after night. The lessons I taught to my children were to be responsible for their choices. Currently, I am still without grandchildren, though my married son who is now 34 will be changing that for me in October. Of everything I could have taught my kids, I am glad the being responsible thing stuck with the 4 of them. What lessons did you learn in life that you have passed along to others?

Jeffff -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 9:06:14 AM)
What you do today will largely be forgotten by everyone, but yourself. Act accordingly. When you fuck up all you can do is try and be better next time.

sub4hire -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 2:42:04 PM)
You can't help a person who does not want help.

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 2:55:16 PM)
Just because someone else missbehaves towards you (eg at work) doesnt mean you have to get down onto that same level...so a few folks I still treat with respect despite that I shouldnt bother about it anymore [8\|] Live and let live (views might differ but its ok that we have different view in life about how to deal with aspects in our private life) I dont need to tell everything to my friends when I know it would hurt them and is not necessary for them to know (eg I was once involved in a pretty big bullying campaign at one employer as I dared to speak up for myself aged 19...which became a problem once my boss has been sacked at that employer...as then it was payback time from some staff for that...despite that I was in the right...it became very nasty indeed and an uncle from my colleague, who is still my best friend - he worked there as well - knew more about what was going on behind my back - he was on a quite high hierarchic rang. Despite me asking him about the comments I did not know about he refused to tell me certain comments which have been made and told me it doesnt benefit me to know them instead they might hurt me...so what is the point if he would tell me certain comments some idiots made...and he was right...therefore there were some moments where I refused to tell people what others said about them even when they were close friends...as they did not need to know them after all...there are always people who like you and who dislike you and there is no need to fill oil into the fire when it isnt really necessary for that person to know the details). And some friends agreed to it when they figured out that I refused to tell them as much as I knew...we don't have to know everything in life [:)]

sunshinemiss -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 8:13:12 PM)
There are horrible people in the world. Sometimes those people become parents.

Arpig -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/22/2010 8:32:01 PM)
It really doesn't matter who started it.

Aneirin -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/23/2010 4:04:20 AM)
The trouble is with trying to pass on what we have learned, is it tends to go in one ear and out the other, not stopping for long in the middle, as time and time again the same mistakes are made by each generation. If you are lucky, it won't be exactly the same mistake, but there will be mistakes made, it is the lot of humanity, we must each learn in our own way and despite what good sense may say, everyone's take on good sense is different, we must experience. Let's look at the history of mankind perhaps, have we evolved or are we still making the same mistakes we have always ever done ? If regret is an indication of a mistake made, why does that regret not have more energy to rid mankind of certain kinds of particularly destructive mistakes. War for example, violence towards others, death and destruction, we know it's wrong, we know it depletes humanity of much, yet we still do it, only now it has new definitions, new excuses for that ancient act of destroying human beings. Perhaps humanity will never learn, but one can only hope and keep trying to educate the future, there must be some hope for us yet.

ShoreBound149 -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/23/2010 4:50:39 AM)
The automobile GPS has taught me that no matter how recklessly fast you drive you really can not measurably impact your arrival time. I've shown this to my daughter. She now tries to leaves on time and drives safer. I highly recommend this exercise for any parent with young drivers. Other lessons: The house always wins Don't trust Whitey

SaintAllie -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/23/2010 5:17:48 AM)
Am currently raising two teen men and two teen women. ( yes I know!) the biggest lesson so far, is live and let live.. allow others the space to make their own mistakes and don't ride them for learning from them. we are all human. Allie

VampiresLair -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/23/2010 5:22:44 AM)
Pick your battles. Some fights are not worth the stress and trouble. Forgive people, but dont forget what was done. Be with someone you want to be with, not just someone you need to be with. Need can cause dependency and resentment if you arent careful.

Level -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 12:57:25 PM)
I know far, far less than I once thought I did. You don't "gotta have" much. Stupidity, courage, hate, love, etc, know no age, color, or gender limits. A good dog trumps a good cat. Not much feels better than a woman sitting in your lap, pushed back against you, your arms around her, as you both shake from giggling. The littleness, narrow-mindedness, and goddam smugness of the left and the right has made me hate politics. There is no price that you can place on finding someone kind enough, and strong enough, to let you be yourself, and stay with you. Don't throw Mountain Dew on an electric fence.

NorthernGent -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 1:09:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst What lessons did you learn in life that you have passed along to others? I had/have a fantastic family.....simple people....valuing the simple things in life.....with some very useful instruction. My Dad's favourite......."you've gotta get out there and grab the bull by the horns". My Mother's favourite..."never underestimate anyone".....and that has proven to be wise indeed. My Grandad's favourites...."time waits for no man". Really....it all amounts to....give it a good go and afford people courtesy along the way. And to me that is my philosophy and a very English philosophy.....it ain't the winning that counts.....it ain't succeeding that counts.....it's giving it everything you have (win or lose) and doing it in the right manner. Play hard and fair.

MasterJohnSteed -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 2:49:45 PM)
Lessons I've learned Well I think I could write a small book, but I won't develop a set of rules to live by never trust someone 100% have something that you can make money with, doesn't matter what you went to school for, you need a trade that will put dollars in your pocket, then you can become a poet, or butterfly collector or what ever makes you happy after. expect that most people are total idiots understand that when you give advice that most people won't actually believe you, even if you've been there, done that and have the t shirt. total world domination is a great thing, if you can do it, but understand you have to keep it under control once you've taken it over Even Superman has too sleep sometimes, and if anyone's getting rescued, Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane are at the top of the list so, take care of yourself!

marie2 -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 3:59:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149 The automobile GPS has taught me that no matter how recklessly fast you drive you really can not measurably impact your arrival time. Of course you can. But I'd lie to my kid about it too.

DesFIP -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 4:00:41 PM)
Having a horseriding kid, one we've learned is "You going to get up and ride, or lie there and bleed?". Life sometimes does just give us those two options.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Lessons learned and passed on to others (7/24/2010 4:19:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Don't throw Mountain Dew on an electric fence. From one of my male cousins...Don't pee on an electric fence. From me I try to pass on that if someone is screaming and yelling at you and acting like a fool, the best thing you can do is smile sweetly and let them get it out. Only then can you try to find out the real problem and solve it. Screaming back just makes it worse. (That was learned from my boss, and it was not an easy lesson for me to learn-lol. She still says it is her most treasured accomplishment, teaching ME calm.) [8\|]

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