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Tantriqu -> RE: Proof Reading (7/17/2010 11:51:43 AM)
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Your invitation to BDSM has arrived! I am welcoming you to a special night of role play, frivolity, and fun. For one night only, Saturday <date not disclosed for posting>, join us for our first slave auction! Everyone is invited to participate, and there are several roles that you can play.
--My name is Lady Pact, and I will be your Head Slave Wrangler and Auctioneer for the evening. For this special night, I will be presenting slaves for sale, at my discretion. Our human merchandise is the finest in the land, and brought to you from near and far. My human livestock has included princes and paupers, knights and knaves,--servants and seductresses. I promise you that you will find no comparison to their outward beauty and inner quality-- for a price.
Some slaves come to me willingly, hoping to be sold to an owner who will give them a new life. Some are sold by their dominants. Some are captured "against their will". [unless you add quotation marks, ew!] Others, you don’t really want to know --. In each and every case, you will find them ready to be purchased. For just a few coins, they can be yours for the night. [give expected prices]
Roles you can play: Slaves – If you chose to be sold at the auction, you are encouraged to become a character for the evening. You may wish to write a brief bio or story on how you came to be sold on the auction block. Costumes can improve your chances of being sold. All slaves are required to have their terms of sale (hard limits) prepared, and be ready to negotiate terms for your Buyer.
Buyers/Tops – You are, my invited guests, to have the opportunity to purchase a slave at the auction. In accepting this invitation, you agree to all terms of sale. Payment for slaves is expected immediately after purchase, and only pre-approved currency will be accepted.
Slave Wranglers – For those who wish to be neither bought or sold, you will be members of my valued staff. You will help slaves with costumes, assist in the auction, and monitor the slave pits.
Dealers – You will assist me during the gambling portion of the evening. It will be your job to help conduct games of chance. I expect you to be well-versed at the gaming tables. If you are not, or are caught cheating, you will be thrown to the slave pit. I would highly suggest that you brush up on your knowledge of the tables.
Our Schedule: I run a very tight show and expect your co-operation. Upon arrival at the dungeon, all Buyers/Tops will be given a sealed envelope with pre-approved currency for the night. You may choose to hold your funds for safe-keeping, or try your luck to improve your fortune at the gambling tables.
Gaming hour – The gaming hour will begin with the Head Wrangler’s announcement, and Buyers/Tops may participate in games of chance. I expect to run at least one poker table and one blackjack table. Standard rules of gaming will apply. (For example, in blackjack, the dealer will hit on 16 and below, stay on 17.) At any time, the Head Wrangler or a member or the staff may observe, participate, or become the dealer at any table. This is to keep the tables honest or catch any cheaters.
During Gaming, trusted slaves will serve drinks or snacks. Serving may improve slaves' chances of being bought. Show the Tops what a good purchase you are!
The Auction – At the close of the gaming hour, the Head Wrangler will begin the auction. Each slave will be brought from the slave pit for display to Tops/Potential Buyers. and their brief description/bio will be read including any hard limits they may have. Bidding will commence once the slave has left the room. Depending on the number of slaves available, a Top/Potential Buyer may be limited to one purchase. Choose wisely! Any slave with no bids stays the property of the Head Wrangler, and may be re-auctioned, at my discretion.
Claiming Your Purchase/Play – Once the highest bidder at auction has been named, the Top/Buyer may claim their merchandise at the slave pit. A Slave Wrangler will assist you in claiming your prize. All terms of sale apply. In purchasing the slave, you accept all terms and conditions for the transaction. Normal dungeon rules will be kept at standard. At no time may you change the contract of sale. All limits will be respected at all times. Any Buyer who refuses to do so gives up all rights to their purchase.
Play Time – Under stipulated terms, you may now use your slave for the evening. Have fun!
Frequently Asked Questions – How do I get to play? This is very simple. Choose a role for the evening. Most Dominants will want to be Buyers/Tops. Most submissives will want to be sold. Switches may choose any role for the night.
Will limits be respected? Absolutely! We are still a family. Nobody will cross the lines that you set down. This is going to be fun.
Who can participate? All members of the <name withheld> group can come out for fun. If you are a member of an adjoining ? word choice? group, you are also welcome. Nobody will be permitted to this event that has not satisfied the prerequisites of attendance.
Can I cheat during gambling? Yes, you can! This may improve your chances for funds. However, if you are caught cheating, you will be thrown into the slave pit and sold on the auction block.
If I get caught cheating, what happens? You will be subject to the terms of being a slave in the pit. All limits will be respected, but you will be in the position of being sold/serving others.
Unless you give the money to a registered charity, isn't it illegal? . . . ? well?
Crap! I get down to the end and see I may be abetting a bawdy house!
Oh, well, here you go:
Rules for commas; read your writing out loud, and add a comma if you can't comfortably make it to the end of the phrase/sentence without drawing breath, OR to separate phrases which already have conjunctions.
Should be punchier; some redundancies removed, e.g., 'catch any cheaters caught in the act' and 'potential' buyers.
Good luck!
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