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JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:21:25 AM   
MrBKS


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/11/2010
Status: offline 		just another opinion..

I do understand the discretion thing (insert conjunction) but wouldn't it be logical to think that anyone you we're afraid of seeing you on a site such as this be pretty much in the same boat as you in reference to "outing" you..quite frankly if someone ran up to Me talking about "joe from accounting has a profile on collarme and he wants to get butt fucked by a she-male with three nipples and a big multiple colored cock ring" My first question would be how do you know?...My second question would be how long have you had a profile on collarme..and finally the cou de gras ..if you dont want your face out there then take the pics down period and just send then amongst those you deem suitable..I know this opinion is totally one sided and honesty I thought it would bring alot of debate..I am not looking to offend anyone yet I just love a great meeting of the minds..sharing opinions is a great thing and remember W/we all come from different walks of life yet to have something so beautiful as the Lifestyle to share in a universal fashion is great...this has been a MrBKS production..:)

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:26:54 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Way too logical so someone is sure to dissent!

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:28:56 AM   
MrBKS


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/11/2010
Status: offline 		I know right !! To be honest I really cant wait for more to appear

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:38:07 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Sure, unless the person doing the "outing" has absolutely nothing to lose and you happen to have a career that depends on not being known as an active kinkster.

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:40:25 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		For example: you're a doctor/teacher/social worker/any profession which has a disrepute clause in its professional code of conduct, and the person who sees your profile knows you but works in IT or whatever.



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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:40:36 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Well. . . I think that the discretion thing is really more about someone not wanting their significant other to find out that they are on CollarMe.  For whatever reason. 

On the other hand, there are people in my life that I know that just do NOT know when to keep their mouth shut.  So it could also be a reaction to that kind of behaviour. 

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:41:58 AM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline 		Perhaps you are a teacher... and someone's mom or dad sees your pic.. they do not work for the local school board, but they know you do, and sooooo, end of career..

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 8:42:55 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have seen many sites as a casual observer that I do not belong to, have no particular interest in other than natural curiousity. I am not gay, nor male but I have been to gay male sites. And in the course of looking around the net I was slammed with porn popping up on my computer that was supposedly from local girls needing to get laid. We live in an Enquirer world. People get off on believing they are not as sick as the next person and they enjoy finding out how sick that is.
To believe that only kinksters who have the same desire for privacy as you might have is ludicrous. I know more than a few people who are out about their kink and have no issues with saying it outloud even if it brings you into it.
And if you don't mind that your family, friends, co-workers know about your kink should you run into one of those "open about who they are" people, great. Just keep in mind that not everyone would be ok with it.

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:02:53 AM   
JanetPeters


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/30/2010
Status: offline 		Reframing from publishing a picture is a choice I will continue.

< Message edited by JanetPeters -- 7/15/2010 9:06:23 AM >

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:07:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		We just ran into this a little while back. 

Having a profile here or even writing things on the forums isn't an issue here.  That can easily be explained as fantasy.  There's no 'proof' as it were. 

However, if you attend an event that allows cam or any other form of live action photography that is broadcast, all that needs to happen is for somebody on the other side of the screen to record it.  Then, all that needs doing is the person who recorded it to drop a disc in the mail to the powers that be.  It doesn't matter if that is the school board, the commander of a military unit, or any other job that is going to have the right to fire you for being involved in BDSM.


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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:18:19 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you can't grasp how someone might be able to sidestep that issue of "but how do you know", don't worry, you won't ever have a career worthy of protecting.

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:27:31 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I would never post a face pic of me on here because there is a 'disrepute' clause in my contract. It would not just mean losing my job, it would mean losing the career I love.

However I do go to a few events. I go to a local munch, but as it's held in the middle of a pub, it's easy to explain why I'm chatting to these people. People at work are aware that I hang around with people who enjoy drinking in the gay part of a nearby big city - which is where the fetish club is. There is a fet club nearer to home, but I don't go because the chances of being caught out by people I know are too high.

I don't go to big events in my home town or the town where I work - I travel many miles to go to events where I'm unlikely to be seen by anyone I know.

I don't automatically assume that no pic = cheating...there are far too many other variables that may account for the reason

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:38:09 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Michael is getting modded?  Damn what have I missed?

OP my work has a clause about being professional and representing the company at all times so I am careful about the photos of me I post however I guess I do take calculated risks as I choose not to live a live filled with paranoia and fears.

Welcome to the forums


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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 9:58:28 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Michael is getting modded? Sheesh. Tough crowd!

I have been a known person in the local scene for more than fifteen years. I was a pro dominant, face pics on the website, ad in DDI, all that. I am not about to close the barn door after that horse ran the Kentucky Derby. I AM going to be cautious about what I let out there. I really do not want my full legal name on a kink website. I really want my Facebook to stay vanilla, and the dozen or so CM folks on my friends list there respect that.

I have state and federal credentials that I don't want to "endanger" but in my line of work that is not a giant concern. As Wanders says, it's a calculated risk, and I do err on the side of caution. We have to make our own choices as far as that kind of thing goes.

When it comes to folks refusing to leave their houses to go to an event because "someone might see them", I do give them the hairy eyeball. And the snort of contempt! Okay, don't go to Folsom and walk down the street in latex body paint. But to not go to a freakin MUNCH because OMG someone might see you have a coffee with a bunch of other folks? Well, I hear that Walgreens has lotion and tissues on sale this week.

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 10:49:06 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

In my opinion, the OP addressed the concerns about being *outed* by suggesting that folks simply not put photos up in the first place. I really can't find any fault with his OP and, truly, I don't understand the eye rolls. Color me confused yet again.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 10:58:03 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Say you have an enemy...perhaps one at work who could make you life miserable...or someone that knows your family. Now they are kinksters themselves and see you profile on CM... It would be simple for them to say someone else brought your profile to their attention...distancing themselves from the site.

Or they anonymously out you through a fake yahoo email address… or just leave a typed link on someone’s desk…No one would know who or why.

Butch

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 11:11:17 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

fr

In my opinion, the OP addressed the concerns about being *outed* by suggesting that folks simply not put photos up in the first place. I really can't find any fault with his OP and, truly, I don't understand the eye rolls. Color me confused yet again.

No eyeroll, Bita.  At the same time, it's fair to discuss those situations where it may not exactly be a fair playing field. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 11:15:16 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		OP: It would seem that you don't realize that employers are apt to scour the net looking for any presence of the prospective job seeker- or they may even be checking up on their current employees. If they find damning images or info- well its a bad job market lately, you get where I'm going with this, right? People who are employed are smart to take less risks right now, and those looking for work can't afford to be too cavalier with personally identifying info as it my nix their chances at meaningful employment.

We become more conservative as we get more that we need to protect.

There are a lot of people who work with children, or in some position of power or maybe public office or for the government, etc..... People who have a lot to lose, if someone who didn't have anything to lose by messing with them, decided to.

Would you want your kids' best schoolteacher or your town's best city councilman or judge, or the Senator who you're working very hard to re-elect because she's not done doing great things for your state... Or one of the wonderful childcare workers who takes such great care of your toddler... Or a brave soldier or your mailman who always delivers your mail on time, or your police and sheriffs, state troopers, etc. or even just the hard-working businessmen and women who keep your town alive and vibrant.... Who all have families to support, mortgages and car payments to pay, and retirements to plan for....

...Would you want them brought down by malicious people who have nothing to lose, themselves?

Would you want the good hard-working people to be vulnerable to victimization by assholes who have nothing better to do?


I hope not. Jesus Christ.

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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/15/2010 2:36:04 PM   
fipsie69


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/3/2009
Status: offline 		Tricky one this. Here’s my personal view.

Do I load the pic?

For: I totally understand the desire to show oneself. It says hey I’m real, look, real, not a nutter, not something else, and I’m here to make honest communication with you/all.

Against: In order to buy more toys you need money and that means a job. If you have clauses in your contract that can remotely be used to fire you it’s a no brainer. Then, as LP said the World is anything but a level playing field: on the whole humans are intolerant, fearful, envious, vindictive and hate it when they see others doing stuff they are to chicken or stupid to do so if you have a job that is even near the realms of mainstream public society with direct or indirect contact with the general public you would be foolhardy to risk it. Then there’s the grey areas: I work in “hip” advertising, my bosses don’t give a rats arse about my private life (they’d be perplexed I had one), I just have to perform. I live in a liberal country with almost fair laws (compared to the UK or US) so if someone at work or whatever confronted me with anything to do with my private sphere I could easily just say “mention my private life again in any way and I’ll shove a lawyer so far up your arse you’ll only see his shoes and will remember me, financially, for the rest of your life”, and I’d win. However, word would get round and eventually it might be perceived as diminishing my ability to lead and command or affect anything else and I’m history.

For: In Europe hardly anyone has heard of CM so daft Facebook entries are vastly more damaging to your private sphere than some obscure kink site. Plus, I am not a number, I am a free man so fuck off, I like to tie up women, so what, bite me or better yet let me bite you

I have mood swings on the subject: I push the envelope and load a pic and delete it 2 days later as my gut isn’t happy with the situation, then load a compromise pic that shows a little of the human being, then another “fine tune” etc. It may be a little harder for men as we are our faces. What else do we have? We don’t have breasts and if we show our pecs it’s a little immature, if we show our cocks we’re brain dead, what’s left? Pics of our cars?

I wish it wasn’t so but 400 years ago we’d be burnt at the stake and even today, in many countries, our activities are technically illegal.




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RE: JUST ANOTHER OPINION..LMAO - 7/16/2010 7:59:50 AM   
MrBKS


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/11/2010
Status: offline 		great points people..thanks for the input

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