RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (Full Version)

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twicehappy -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 5:14:27 AM)

quote:

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?


Yes, i too have read many sub/slave profiles where they are demanding, the only issue i see with that is are they polite about it or not.

Some are really rude, the profile makes you say, how in the hell can somebody with that attitude be submissive? For some the reason may be they are simply tired of answering emails from Doms who failed to read their entire profile and do not in any way match the sub/slaves search criteria. When i was searching i got quite a bit of that, or better yet, the Doms who firmly believe the only thing any sub/slave needs is a collar around their neck, specifically, that particular Doms.

On the other hand i see nothing wrong with clearly stating your wants, needs, desires, limits, ability or willingness to relocate or not. After all, you are searching for that One who you will submit your entire being to. As a slave i can tell you it is of the utmost importance that you match well. If you hate sports and your Dom dearly loves them, attends games of one sort or another year round, no matter how submissive you are its going to get to you. Then the more obvious scene likes and dislikes, if you are terrified of knife play and the prospective dom considers it his area of expertise, is that really a good match?

I was extremely specific on my profile with regards to age, i stated over 45 years of age, or older. I simply prefer older men intellectually. Odd as it may sound it is true. My 2nd owner was 31 years older than i. Now my current male owner (i am collared to a Dom/Domme couple) is 50. The older i got the better someone in my own age range suited me.

I also stated “Harley riders only”. Was i being rude or arrogant? No i did not think so. I simply know myself well enough to realize one of the few things i cannot live without is the wind. Truly i do prefer that “biker” look and mentality. Trust me, a non rider would not tolerate for long that dreamy look i get at the sound of a big V Twin for long. Nor would i have been able to give this up, it honestly is half my soul.

Before i get a lot of responses on that one let me say something every rider i know has said at one time or another “if I have to explain, you just would not understand”. 

There again, as specific as i was i got numerous emails from non riders telling me “it is not that important”, or” I can make you forget motorcycles” or my favorite “I own a Yamaha, does that count?” (No offense intended to non Harley riders here, i respect all riders, but lifestyle wise there is a difference, refer to above statement.)

So is being specific being demanding? Possibly sometimes, but for the most part i think you have to be, sub/slaves and Doms alike.



bandit25 -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 5:20:53 AM)

This is also a topic that interests me very much.  In fact, I don't even have a profile per se...just a journal.  I don't see anything wrong with clearly stating preferences or lifestyle choices.  In fact, I think to do so helps eliminate misunderstandings.  Alas, it seems few actually take the time to read profiles.



Areflectionofyou -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 5:49:26 AM)

so a Dom could tell you he/or she will strangle you and you would be ok with that because its what they want? protect yourself....no one else will.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?

Reading some profiles,
I've discovered that some Subs?slaves
are very Demanding in their Profiles.

Examples: I will not relocate and that's finale!
            I am new to this, but am looking for a Female Dom.
            all males need to get lost!
            I am Submissive and not Slave, Period!
            Etc.

I've always been Submissive but have never made
a Profile where I was Demanding.

I just felt it was the Masters/Mistresses/Switches 
Job to do it? {Be Demanding}

I know sometimes we get Frustrated,
but We are Submissives/Slaves and need to
Remember that.
quote:

 
"Just My Thoughts."


Kiss Me, Misty



ScooterTrash -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 6:07:59 AM)

I think it is important that "anyone" posting a profile, if they are looking, are reasonably clear on what they are looking for. It's no different than placing an ad. I'm not sure demanding is the appropriate term, selective maybe fits better. I do see some that have a list of "Hates" that don't seem to ring true with what they state in their profile, but that's not really anyone's issue but theirs I guess. Items such as won't relocate I think is a choice they have to make as there are so many factors that could influence this, family ties, career goals, etc. Bottom line, they are the ones projecting themselves in their profile, if in doing so they alienate the very thing they are looking for, then perhaps thay didn't know what they were looking for in the first place...IMHO.



amayos -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 6:28:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?



Is it possible? Yes. Is it appropriate? No.

There is being helpfully informative about yourself and then there is being belligerent.



MstrFury -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 8:25:41 AM)

I guess I'm just one of those who read a profile without judgement or comment....if I has something of interest...I go on...if not...I pass on....I think it's all in how you view what someone has to say.....
if you say will not relocate...I pass...why attempt to change ones mind if everything else fits......you can't because everything doesn't fit...demanding or begging to change ones mind speaks pages of who you are...
making friends that have so much in common with us...well isn't the exchange of thoughts and ideas...worth more than the loss through your response or actions...



thetammyjo -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 8:35:41 AM)

Of course a sub or bottom can be demanding in their profile -- what's to stop them?

However what we write in our profiles may affect if anyone contacts us and how they contact us.

I'd rather have someone state very clearly what they want and their hard limits upfront so I can decide to write to them or not.



sublizzie -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 9:16:25 AM)

While some of the word choices may not have been what I would have chosen, whether or not they are "demanding" or not is really more in the eye of the beholder than necessarily in the mouth of the writer. Sometimes the "voice" attached to words that are read are not the speaker's but the reader's.

And why shouldn't I be demanding as a sub? If I am going to give someone control over me,  they had better meet a few criteria that makes them safe for me to submit to!



Tikkiee -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 9:43:39 AM)

I fail to see how stressing (stating) who you are, and what you seek can be classified as demanding. I would imagine that most who are searching would rather have a submissive/slave with a bit of backbone; one who has a solid sense of self. Just my opinion though.



MasterRenegade77 -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 10:24:18 AM)

I agree w/you 100% there are ways to communicate ones wants & needs W/out being abrasive...
I also believe that just because one's had a bad experience that they shouldn't stereotype all ...
When I see Profiles like those described, I just think here's another scumbag that's that's infiltrated  the Lifestyle via the Internet!!!



LadyMorgynn -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 10:41:24 AM)

Actually, I find it helpful to find that kind of information in a profile.  It tells me right away if this is someone whom I should, or should not, contact, based on these specific hard limits.  Any lesbian, or an owned slave, for example, has a right to demand "no men" on her profile.  And if someone, for whatever reason, cannot relocate... then they can't relocate.  Nothing wrong with saying so.  In fact, I wish MORE people would write these kind of hard limits on their profiles!  I don't care if their hard limits is watersports, I want to know if they can relocate, if they are only looking for a Christian, if they are allergic to cats or if they're vegan. 

For the record... just because someone is submissive... or even an unowned slave... doesn't mean they have no rights.  They do have the right to ask... and yes, even demand... a certain minimum basics for contact.  After that, of course, it's a matter of negotation with whomever the sub/slave is talking to, and none of our business.



MurfB -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 12:24:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?

I know sometimes we get Frustrated,
but We are Submissives/Slaves and need to
Remember that.


Is it possible? Of course it's possible. You know, that's like saying "your favorite color is red, and you need to remember that!" It's whatever you want it to be. Who cares?



NakedGirlScout -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 12:40:05 PM)

Demanding or upfront?

You can't really demand anything of strangers, it looks foolish no matter if you're dom, sub, vanilla or whatever. Personally I'd like to see someone post "You WILL obey my dog!"

Personally I've found that confident, dominant men are so tired of waffly, flakey BS online that they are drawn to a confident profile that's upfront about what the sub needs. (I didn't mean to leave dominant women out of previous statement but have not been chatting with them).

Most of the time if a dom got to throwing the term "demanding" at me, it was because he wanted to browbeat me into servility, rather than dominating me into obedience.



JoeBlack -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 1:07:41 PM)

I'm not looking,but I do read profiles,I find them interesting and revealing.
Defining limits is important;but tone and expression can be off-putting,if the sub comes off as demanding and difficult.



Wulfchyld -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 1:24:41 PM)

I find it very encouraging to be upfront about your wants, needs, desires and, more importantly, limits. It does neither party any good to invest time in someone or something that will not achieve fruition. The clarity of a profile allows the “unknown” viewer to discern the compatibility of the member. It allows us to discover the depth of relationship we can evolve with the individual i.e. friendship, play, committed, etc… Personally I would not discount friendship on the site, it is home to an eclectic array personalities that lend humor, understanding, and knowledge. I would encourage everyone to be candid and stick with your guns on your profile. In the end we are seeking compatibility on one level or the other and should not need to compromise our own values to satisfy another.

Respectively
Loki



DarkScribe -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/15/2006 8:16:11 PM)

Isn't a person choosing to be a slave or submissive? Oh yeah, it can be in their blood, their brains, their soul, but isn't it up to them to take on the role of being someone's slave or submissive? Why then, if they are choosing to be something that may be exploited so easily, why then wouldn't they have the right to demand some stuff? Aren't they allowed to choose the extent to which they are submitting to someone else? Isn't it really nothing else but a deal between people?

I prefer someone without any demands or limits, but if it's there and I believe something wonderful may come out of a possible relationship, then I will take these demands into account. Same as acquiring a second hand car, if there are some things unusual or specific about them, like color, 2 doors instead of 4, it is your choice to either buy the thing or keep on searching.



acctonthelook -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/16/2006 12:10:41 AM)

The only place where I can say I feel my profile is demanding or belligerent is in my journal.  I will not be involved with married men, involved, ppl looking for play things or additions to their slave #'s.

This is purely because of my past mistakes.  I have learned a valuable lesson to NOT be involved with other's husbands.  I also state clearly in my profile that I wish not to be in a poly but I still get emails for Dom's looking to 'add' me. 

It's frustrating that ppl don't read.  So if I'm being demanding or belligerant, my mentor Dom said to be so.  It's important for ppl to know my limits and limitations.

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?



Is it possible? Yes. Is it appropriate? No.

There is being helpfully informative about yourself and then there is being belligerent.




sharainks -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/16/2006 5:14:29 AM)

There is nothing wrong with being specific about what you do or don't seek.  One of the reasons people get adamant about those things is the number of people who don't seem to read the ad but write anyway.  If your ad says you won't relocate but you get 100 mails asking if you can move 1000 miles away it gets old after awhile.  One of my long time pet peeves is married men seeking subs.  Most of my personals ads have stated "if you are married I'm not interested".  For some reason that appears to be a challenge and immediately half a dozen married men reply. 

To me its better to be open about what you seek and then if they are interested it saves you both a lot of time finding out what could have been found out by reading the ad.




MontaukDaisies -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/16/2006 9:34:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Clarity is a precious commodity and I run from any profile that lacks it.  I want a strong powerful independent woman as my submissive because that makes her submission all the sweeter to me.



Clarity comes from self awareness and the ability to string words together coherently! [:D]
I agree with you wholeheartedly.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile? (4/16/2006 9:49:45 AM)

When bee keepers first get into bee keeping they wear 3 layers, a head mask and big thick gloves and are blazing big smoking-bee-smoke guns ( you can see the mental picture right?) But as they get to know this their bees, and they see that the are safe ect, it is not uncommon to find master bee keepers wearing jeans and a tee shirt, nothing else, some dont even use the bee smoke.
 
When I see a profile with I am not a slave damn-it sort of sentiments I softly chuckle to be honest, I look right through all those layers of white clothing and see a sweet young scared submissive inside.



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