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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:20:12 AM

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quote:

jujubee:

I am constantly... on a much more one-on-one level.

Ummmgood.

And I promise you plenty of aftercare!

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 8:43:11 AM

Frankseas

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Nice points brought up here. Group think is brought up and followed by some as we are social creatures and most of us (not all) feel the need to belong. Hell people even come here to CM and form little groups here as well.

Some groups follow each other around the boards here. As well as on the many chatrooms that people use here to. Sometimes in a chatroom you have the usual people there and in comes some one who upsets the group thought and then is judged by that group.

Maybe not all in the group will judge a few will stay quiet as the rest of the group decides that persons fate for that short moment. Same happens at Munches to...esp if a truly Vanilla type wants to join. Say they just overheard what was going on? Should the group allow them to join in or is it better if a indvidual in the group asked them to join in.

At times it is better to be a individual and decide things that will benefit others and as well as benefit your own self to.

Some times the collective, or Group-Think will get carried away and over react possibly causing harm either physical or mental even. After all we will never know right away how our actions or words will effect a person.

And when we post here as a single person we should be responsible for our words and thoughts as we interact with the collective group that we call Collar Me!

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 9:40:47 AM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I get what you're saying-I'm an Iraqi Jew in a country not all that comfortable with Iraqis or Jews, I'm bisexual (which makes the lesbians *and* the straights uncomfortable-not lesbian enough for the lesbians, too lesbian for everyone else, and don't even *ask* how the Iraqis would feel about it) and I maintain that all sport other than ice hockey is deadly dull and *bad for your health* (ice hockey being especially bad for your health but exhilarating to watch so I don't care).

What I've had to bear in mind is that other people don't necessarily see me like that-nobody has a big sign over their head saying 'Iraqi Jewish Unpatriotic Queer(ish) Kinkster' (well, apart from maybe during Pride...). People don't think about other people in terms of adjectives like that-they think of me as VC, of you as jujubee (or [insert your real name here]). You think you don't fit in because x,y,z. They think you fit in because you're funny and clever and you know all the best drinking games, or whatever.

Oh, and as an aside, there's no such thing as 'too independent for D/s'. There's 'too independent for a D/s relationship with person X', but from what I can see the beauty of this stuff is there's always going to be someone who wants what you're offering

This is all an incredibly good point, and it's definitely how I feel most of the time (when I'm not having a bad night). I know that people think of me as a whole person who has many great traits and many flaws and who cares if I belong to a specific group, but the fact is that when I sit down and look at religion and sexual orientation and sports fans, I'm just plain jealous. People who go to the same church every week have a distinct advantage over me (in some ways): they get to walk into a room with people they like/dislike/love/hate and know that they belong there. I have the "Cheers" theme song running through my head right now - totally applies

Sometimes it gets tiring not having any constant where I can say "hey, I'm a Jew - this is how I feel about Jewish issues" or "hey, I'm an accountant. Let's go to an accountant conference." People love that which is familiar and comfortable, and I assure you, I am a shocker to all those who don't love uniqueness.

People who are bi are constantly identifying with me on the "rejection from the gay community" feeling, so I have no doubt you know what I mean, although you do technically get a letter in GLBT. What's the letter for "I was 'out' about my parents at age 4 and grew up tortured by classmates and completely immersed in gay culture only to be vaguely kicked out when I realized I was sexually attracted to men"? What's the group for "my dad is Jewish, but I haven't seen him since I was thirteen and you can only claim to be Jewish if your mom is"? I think you're right in that it comes down to a letting go of the need to fit into a category, but when the question comes up, I do not fit into any category.

Not even the hockey fan category

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 10:33:00 AM

DesFIP

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I'm not sure you adopt the group thoughts so much as you gravitate to a group that thinks the way you do. We pick groups to belong to in the same way we pick friends to be with. There has to be a lot of commonality and agreement on core subjects. And even defining what is or is not a core subject is up to the individuals and groups.

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 11:39:41 AM

IronBear

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I can nothing from a BDSM/Kink aspect because I don't really have much group interaction on a local aspect. However, in the Pagan world, in the Covens I have run from very small ones to ultra large ones, I have seen and encourages a linking of minds and found that whilst most members were quite string individually, the strength of the group mind especially in working was bothy good and beneficial. From a Lodge point of view, I have watched and experienced from a raw new-by (neophyte) through to all the ranks to the pinnacle over the last 40 years, we do expect to have an excellent linked mind when working Rites and yes these members of whom a goodly number are strong minded and strong willed people many in professions such as accounting, banking, law and medicine, have never lost their individuality. It is simply a case where we join for a reason and give that our absolute focus. For this reason and also because I prefer to have trained linked minds being focused on something rather than individual efforts some of which will (by law of averages) be counter productive.

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 1:22:06 PM

pdv99

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I just agree with what the rest of you said......
(smirk)

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:29:33 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

This is all an incredibly good point, and it's definitely how I feel most of the time (when I'm not having a bad night).

In which case I'm going to stop trying to drive this home, because you get it and you don't need me arguing at you when you're already feeling low.

If you ever want to chat about the perils of being uncategorisable my inbox is open :-)

(Or even if you're just having a bad moment and you want an atrocious joke or two to cheer you up...)

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:33:06 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

This is all an incredibly good point, and it's definitely how I feel most of the time (when I'm not having a bad night).
In which case I'm going to stop trying to drive this home, because you get it and you don't need me arguing at you when you're already feeling low.

If you ever want to chat about the perils of being uncategorisable my inbox is open :-)

You are so gay!!!

Everyone hates you.

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:37:20 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

You are so gay!!!

Duh. But you can be gay and...talk to a woman without hitting on her. This concept may be alien to you, but that's ok.

quote:

Everyone hates you.

You're just bitter 'cause my people killed you.

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:39:50 PM

zenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

The trouble I'm having with this thread is that I've always understood "Groupthink" to refer to a very specific syndrome where groups of people can come to faulty decisions because the dynamic of the group (which may or may not be lead by an individual or clique) makes debate or critical discussion taboo.

You would be correct. Groupthink is NOT a good thing by definition. Trying to mix groupthink up with thinking within a group/group membership would not be advised as they are two inherently different things. Unfortunately, many don't see the need to be precise in their language.

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RE: Group Think?! - 7/2/2010 4:46:41 PM

kdsub

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Some things are important and others are not. For the important things group thinking does not enter into my thought process. I always and I mean always decide what is right or wrong despite the opinions of those around me. Of course I listen to them because they may be more informed, but when I have the information I need I make up my mind and don’t worry about what others think.

Now for those things that are not important I keep my thinking to myself. Especially when it comes to family and those I love. If what I think makes no difference why should I argue and hurt feelings.

Butch

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