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jujubeeMB -> RE: Group Think?! (7/2/2010 9:40:47 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I get what you're saying-I'm an Iraqi Jew in a country not all that comfortable with Iraqis or Jews, I'm bisexual (which makes the lesbians *and* the straights uncomfortable-not lesbian enough for the lesbians, too lesbian for everyone else, and don't even *ask* how the Iraqis would feel about it) and I maintain that all sport other than ice hockey is deadly dull and *bad for your health* (ice hockey being especially bad for your health but exhilarating to watch so I don't care).
What I've had to bear in mind is that other people don't necessarily see me like that-nobody has a big sign over their head saying 'Iraqi Jewish Unpatriotic Queer(ish) Kinkster' (well, apart from maybe during Pride...). People don't think about other people in terms of adjectives like that-they think of me as VC, of you as jujubee (or [insert your real name here]). You think you don't fit in because x,y,z. They think you fit in because you're funny and clever and you know all the best drinking games, or whatever.
Oh, and as an aside, there's no such thing as 'too independent for D/s'. There's 'too independent for a D/s relationship with person X', but from what I can see the beauty of this stuff is there's always going to be someone who wants what you're offering [:)]
This is all an incredibly good point, and it's definitely how I feel most of the time (when I'm not having a bad night). I know that people think of me as a whole person who has many great traits and many flaws and who cares if I belong to a specific group, but the fact is that when I sit down and look at religion and sexual orientation and sports fans, I'm just plain jealous. People who go to the same church every week have a distinct advantage over me (in some ways): they get to walk into a room with people they like/dislike/love/hate and know that they belong there. I have the "Cheers" theme song running through my head right now - totally applies [:)] Sometimes it gets tiring not having any constant where I can say "hey, I'm a Jew - this is how I feel about Jewish issues" or "hey, I'm an accountant. Let's go to an accountant conference." People love that which is familiar and comfortable, and I assure you, I am a shocker to all those who don't love uniqueness.
People who are bi are constantly identifying with me on the "rejection from the gay community" feeling, so I have no doubt you know what I mean, although you do technically get a letter in GLBT. What's the letter for "I was 'out' about my parents at age 4 and grew up tortured by classmates and completely immersed in gay culture only to be vaguely kicked out when I realized I was sexually attracted to men"? What's the group for "my dad is Jewish, but I haven't seen him since I was thirteen and you can only claim to be Jewish if your mom is"? I think you're right in that it comes down to a letting go of the need to fit into a category, but when the question comes up, I do not fit into any category.
Not even the hockey fan category [:)]
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