RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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VandalHeart -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/17/2006 11:29:44 PM)

Tell him to push his car wherever it is that he needs to go so badly

I'm almost out of cigarettes and completely out of money...what to do?!?



HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/18/2006 8:41:27 PM)

Go hand outside the local gas station and panhandle, cashiers and owners of stores just love this.


I would really love to retire now with enough money to remodel my home te way I wish and to travel the world.  Any suggestions on how to do this?



LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/19/2006 9:07:56 PM)

Sell nude photos of yourself on E-Bay.

I am bored, how do I cure this?



HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/19/2006 9:52:29 PM)

Sell nude photos of yourself on Ebay in a submissive pose, include your email addy on the back, chuckles.  Dealing with the responses should keep you busy for a while.

Benji sprayed all over my new wood deck.  How do we get the urine smell out?



LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/19/2006 10:48:28 PM)

Make some homemade napalm, and cover your deck with it, then light a map.  This will get rid of the urine smell.  "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning."


The same idiot keeps emailing me with the same one-line question.  If I get his address from him what should I do to him?




WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 4:02:34 AM)

quote:

The same idiot keeps emailing me with the same one-line question.  If I get his address from him what should I do to him?


Come see me in a submissive pose to be flogged for not just blocking him.

I got to go out and be in the heat again today what should I do to stat cool.



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 9:29:20 AM)

quote:

I got to go out and be in the heat again today what should I do to stat cool.


Since I have already addressed this question in a previous post, I will try to give a different answer. You know how a hot beverage warms you on a cold day and a cold beverage cools you on a hot day? Well... before you go out into the heat, eat about 12 gallons of ice cream. You must do this very quickly so the ice cream will remain frozen inside of you. Then walk outside and face the heat with a big smile!


I need something entertaining to do to keep my mind off of a problem. Any suggestions?



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 9:38:33 AM)

quote:

I need something entertaining to do to keep my mind off of a problem. Any suggestions?


Go buy a very large parrot.  Teach said parrot to lift and swing a cane.  They can do this.  Then invite all the submissives you know to come over and be caned by the bird.  Build a website, take pics and set up a live web cam.  Call it Tweet Kink.  Someone, somewhere will have a fetish for this, and you'll make lots of money.
 
The plumber just shut off all the water to my house and I want to wash my hands.  What do I do?



WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 1:28:50 PM)

Go in your bathroom and lift the lid off the back of the toilet, you will find plenty of water in there to wash your hands.

I need to wash and wax my truck but don't have a slave to give the task to what should I do?



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 3:06:00 PM)

oops.. wrong thread...me bad...



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 7:39:13 PM)

quote:

I need to wash and wax my truck but don't have a slave to give the task to what should I do?


One reason that you do not have a slave is that your car isn't all shiny and pretty. Women like shiny and pretty things. Look at Ben Afleck. The quick answer is to make the chore of waxing your car simple and entertaining and fun. Gather up all the cats you can put into a large box. Then take one cat and roll him around in car wax and place him on the top of your car. He will try to get off, but will slip and slide all over thus distributing the wax over the car. Do this until the car is coated with wax. Then, take the final cat and tie it's paws together and attach him to an electric drill. Then you can buff the car with the last cat. Be sure the last cat hasn't eaten in a while so he doesn't puke all over the car.


I just gave advice that may bring harm to several kitties. I don't want anyone to get upset at me. I love kitties... I really do. I am just trying to help a fellow BDSMer out. I fear others might not see it that way... what shall I do?



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2006 7:49:02 PM)

Actually, I get the feeling you are quite fond of pussies and would never, ever hurt them.  I am keeping PETA on speed-dial just in case though.

 
I have to go out tomorrow..and it's really, really hot....how can I avoid having to shave my legs??? (for shorts)



Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2006 8:35:17 PM)

Make an appointment at a salon for a full body waxing.  That way
you will be bare all over and able to wear as little as possible.
 
I want to apply some sun-less tanning lotion but cannot reach My
own back.  What should I do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly
I have to go out tomorrow..and it's really, really hot....how can I avoid having to shave my legs??? (for shorts)



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2006 9:01:11 PM)

quote:

I want to apply some sun-less tanning lotion but cannot reach My
own back.  What should I do?


Master knows just how to do this.  Put on a halter top and go to an amusement park.  Take your sunless tanning lotion with you.  Find a looping rollercoaster and get on.  As the ride starts, open the bottle.  When the train gets to the top of the loop, squeeze the lotion from the bottle.  It'll land on your back when you hit the bottom of the loop.  If you miss and hit someone else's back, do it again until your own back is covered.



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/22/2006 10:03:27 PM)

OK, it won't let me edit, and I forgot to put in my question.  What's the best way to get my post edited?




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/22/2006 10:13:34 PM)

Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame. [:o]


I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?



WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/22/2006 10:14:43 PM)

Do it before the edit timer runs out.

When a sub keeps nagging whats the best way to get them to stop?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/23/2006 9:02:14 AM)

quote:

When a sub keeps nagging whats the best way to get them to stop?


This has a simple solution. Glue their lips shut.

I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/23/2006 9:03:55 AM)

quote:

Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame. [:o]


I posted a question!  See #1395.  (and it still won't let me edit!)
 
Now that I've been accused of failing to post a question, how can I get back into Gauge's good graces?



RavenMuse -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/23/2006 9:07:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?


Turn pro-Dom and demand one as tribute!

Far too many of the young lovelys that seem suitable for my second collar are in other countrys and/or already collared....[:o]

Edit:

quote:

Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame.

Now that I've been accused of failing to post a question, how can I get back into Gauge's good graces?

Buy him a digital camera![;)]



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