RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 7:47:10 AM)
Show up wearing your casual weekend clothes and have a rambling conversation about the meaning of life. I need to drive a long distance in the fog today. Any advice? quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone I have my yearly performance appraisal tomorrow, any ideas of how I can highlight my many underachievements this past year in a positive way?

ArtimisBlack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 9:03:35 AM)
Don't drive with your headlights on or go slower then 45 miles per hour. This will cause the fog to magically part before you granting clear vision for the entire trip. My boyfriend changes his mind about everything. How can I get him to stop?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 11:03:12 AM)
Take him in for an lobotomy. My neighbors want me to mow my yard more but i hate to mow, what should I do to stop there complaining?

SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 1:08:56 PM)
Tell your neighbours to get on their knees and eat your grass themselves like the cows they are. I’m addicted to going into the confession box thingy and saying stuff I haven’t actually done for fun and I’m not even catholic. How can I stop this gross wasting of time?

Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 5:09:29 PM)
Become Catholic, but a really bad one, who never goes to confession. I have to prepare to move in the next month and a half, but I hate sorting through stuff and packing. What should I do?

jojoluvr -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 8:17:17 PM)
set your house on fire and buy new stuff with the insurance money my apartments don't offer paper recycling and i have tons of catalogs that i can't bear to put in the landfills. what should i do with them?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 8:30:55 PM)
quote: my apartments don't offer paper recycling and i have tons of catalogs that i can't bear to put in the landfills. what should i do with them? Shred them and use 'em to make molded papier mache replicas of miscellaneous body parts. Paint them and sell 'em on eBay. I have to take my cat to the vet, and he's really starting to hate this vet. How can I calm him down before he goes in?

missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 8:33:34 PM)
Get him drunk first. He will love the vet then. I hate my long toes. What can I do about them?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 9:06:04 PM)
Go outside my house and fire up my lawn mower and when your done mowing my lawn stick your feet under it and cut them off. I haven't ate today and there isn't any thing here i want to eat what should i do about it?

missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 9:11:12 PM)
I'm sure you can find something in the trash that is edible, just stick it in the microwave for 10 min to kill any germs on it and it'll be great. My landlord takes forever to fix things, how can I hurry him up?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 10:38:46 PM)
Get a cattle prod and use it on him when you feel he isn't doing things fast enough. Birds are flying over my truck while it sits in my driveway and crapping on it and this is really bad for the paint much less pisses me off how should i stop them?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 11:01:21 PM)
SillyWayWardSoul. . . you cannot stop birds from doing that. What you need to realize is that you have a less than optimal parking site for your truck. You love your truck and your truck loves you. In this case, you need to create a "truckie door" much like a "doggie-door" and bring your truck into your house with you. What kind of a mean SOB are you that you leave your loving truckie out in the street all by its lonesome. Take your truck down to Home Depot and get a saw and the other tools you will need. Trust me, you will start a new trend in "truckie-doors" adn probably make a million. I have to give a urine sample at work tomarrow, and I am wondering if it would be okay to eat copious amounts of red food coloring before hand to discourage this type of nonsense.

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/6/2006 12:02:39 AM)
No don't do it with red a better option would be use blue so it matchs the water in the toilet, then when you bring it out and they think you used toilet water tell them to give you a new cup, then squat right there and fill it up for them. I wish i would of thought about this monday when I had to take mine. I've cut this truckir-door in my house and drove my truck in but it fell through the floor how should I get it back out?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/7/2006 7:52:28 PM)
Hit reverse gear. Failing that, use a forklift. How do I switch the boy from caffeinated to de-caffeinated coffee without his finding out? quote: ORIGINAL: WayWardSoul I've cut this truckir-door in my house and drove my truck in but it fell through the floor how should I get it back out?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 2:11:53 AM)
How do I switch the boy from caffeinated to de-caffeinated coffee without his finding out? Add valium to his coffee, that way even if he finds out he will not care. Also, he will be much calmer the next time that you pull out the nails and butterfly board when you want to 'play'. My co-worker thinks that I am a snooze button and keeps smacking me on the top of my head when I wake her up when she falls asleep at her desk. How do I stop this?

SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 4:28:10 AM)
We all know the purpose of office chairs with wheels it is so you can move people who are sleeping into the elevator and send them to the ground floor or to the boss’s office. It may be advisable to wear a hardhat whilst transporting her though. My problem is this: I get on a train at the position that suits the exit to the station at the end of my journey. There is also another exit in the station further down the track but sometimes it is not open. It would be nice if I could walk through this exit as it would suit the place where I park my car better. How can I know when to get on the train at the position that suits the exit in the station that suits where I park my car?

SavageFaerie -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 8:01:22 PM)
Check you parking meter before you enter the station, the arrow should indicate which direction to go. My birthday is tomorrow and I have no one to give me birthday spankings. What should I do?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 8:14:30 PM)
Just go up to random people on the street and tell them that it is your birthday, and will they be willing to service . . . urm. . . I mean. . . spank you for your birthday. The other option is to throw yourself a birthday party and then jump in different peoples' laps and announce, "I've been a baaaaaaaaaaaaad girl." Well. . . I wheeled my co-worker out of the office, but we do not have an elevator. Should I just leave her in the parking lot?

SavageFaerie -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 8:29:20 PM)
I would say leave her by the street with a sign that says " Will Word for Food" I live on a dead in road in the middle of no where and I'm home alone. Now what should I do?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/8/2006 10:01:25 PM)
Go to where the road ends and dig a hole 6' deep X 3' wide X 6' long (I don't think your taller then this) get in the hole and cover your self with the dirt. In no time you will have a bunch of worms for friends to keep you company. Starting next week I got to start getting up in the morning to be someplace, but I'n not used to getting up in the mornings. How should I get myself used to getting up in the morning?

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