RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 2:17:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce Booby-trap your bedroom door, put thumtacks all over the floor, tell them the big, scary monster now lives under YOUR bed, and then go sleep in theirs. What's the best way to catch bats? Simple...go into any sporting goods store, jump up on the counter holding up 20 100 dollar bills in your hands and scream at the top of your lungs "I'll pay twice the going rate for every bat you have in the store...but you gotta throw 'em at me".

LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 2:19:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead How do I keep my German Shepherd from sniffing visitors' crotches when they come to my house? (Well, before I can answer that, I think a valid question is...are they coming over to see you...or the German Shepard?)

LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 2:21:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fergus Should I varnish my cat? Not without shaving him first.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 2:24:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress How do I get spots out of my eyes after pictures are taken? Visine (but put the photo in a ziploc bag first).

LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 2:26:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullCircle Grout is a simple mixture of toothpaste and butter. Just apply and wait to dry. OMFG!!!! (I'm fucking dying here LOL)

LTRsubNW -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/2/2006 5:11:10 PM)
(Oooooooops. Sorry about that)

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/3/2006 10:29:07 PM)
quote: I want to furnish my new apartment, but even though I work full time, I can’t afford to. What should I do to make a lot of money, fast? Sell your vital organs on eBay. Hey... you can go through life with one lung, one kidney and no liver. Wait... you can't live without a liver but I live without liver... This is going to get confusing and I need my medication. My oldest boy needs a job right now but no one hires him. Is there some way I can get him hired tomorrow?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 12:14:33 AM)
Pay him to go out to the beach and push the waves back. He will never run out of work. I don't know what to take for the bar-b-que tomorrow, fresh fruit, deviled eggs, cold cuts, beer??? quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge My oldest boy needs a job right now but no one hires him. Is there some way I can get him hired tomorrow?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 1:47:09 PM)
quote: I don't know what to take for the bar-b-que tomorrow, fresh fruit, deviled eggs, cold cuts, beer??? I would take fried spiders and steamed rams bladder. No one ever brings those things to a BBQ and you might just start a trend. The fireworks are tonight and they get shot off right down the street from my home. What should I do to protect myself just in case there would be a malfunction and one would go out of control over my way?

HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 2:02:36 PM)
Douse your roof with gasoline, and make sure it stays wet as you have heard many times that anything that is wet will not burn. Throw a match on it just to prove the theory. Just bought a new grill and friends are coming over. We have a Ms. Grundy who lives next door to us who loves to meddle. What is the best way to get her to mind her own business?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:26:49 PM)
Invite her over for dinner, and then put on a Dolcett-style barbeque. Master will be home on vacation for two weeks, starting the 15th. What should we do with all that time together?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:31:16 PM)
quote: Master will be home on vacation for two weeks, starting the 15th. What should we do with all that time together? Go to a seminar on dismantling tactical nuclear weapons. It may come in handy one day. My oldest son eats like he has two assholes. I can't afford to feed him like that so what should I do?

Level -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:34:31 PM)
Break into your neighbor's home and raid their fridge. I have a sinus headache, what can I do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:48:29 PM)
quote: I have a sinus headache, what can I do? Sinus headaches are caused by blocked sinus passages. Go out to your local hardware store and buy an electric drill and a 3/4" paddle bit. Drill two holes where you feel the pressure the most and then tilt your head forward, draining the sinus cavity. You can plug the holes with caulking so you can open them easily in case you have to drain them again. I really want to go to the pool but I don't really like getting that much sun because I get sunburned easily. Any suggestions?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:55:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: I have a sinus headache, what can I do? Sinus headaches are caused by blocked sinus passages. Go out to your local hardware store and buy an electric drill and a 3/4" paddle bit. Drill two holes where you feel the pressure the most and then tilt your head forward, draining the sinus cavity. You can plug the holes with caulking so you can open them easily in case you have to drain them again. I really want to go to the pool but I don't really like getting that much sun because I get sunburned easily. Any suggestions? Get a kiddie pool and fill it up in your living room. my neighbors dog always craps in my yard how should i stop this? WWS

Level -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 7:56:57 PM)
Put the dog in your bathroom, no more shit in the yard. I shave my head daily, but it gets tiring; any suggestions?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 8:00:57 PM)
Take a torch and burn the hair off? My neighbours want there dog back but he will crap in my yard again what should i do?

missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/4/2006 11:01:54 PM)
Set up visitation in your bathroom. I have to do a presentation on African Religion and am too tired to do the research. What shall I do?

APerfectParadox -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 12:45:05 AM)
Tell then you are going to give the entire presentation in an authentic african dialect and then speak in meaningless syllables . My insecurities ruin every relationship i have ever had ... how can i resolve this ?

wandersalone -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/5/2006 6:42:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: APerfectParadox My insecurities ruin every relationship i have ever had ... how can i resolve this ? Only date committment-phobes so that you never get to the stage of being in a relationship and your insecurities won't come into play I have my yearly performance appraisal tomorrow, any ideas of how I can highlight my many underachievements this past year in a positive way?

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