RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 1:35:20 PM)

nope!!! ....mine is used more then a 2dollar whore.....(no offense to who ever reads this if you are a two dollar whore, please, its just an analogy)
 
but you could use it as a small, uneven platform to practice your ballet on and then it might feel the love.....
 
I am addicted to random stupidity...any thoughts?




Unfallen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 3:10:17 PM)

Keep turning the TV on.  It works for radios,  they feel wanted and appreciated.

My swing is keeping me in suspense... What should I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:08:05 PM)

quote:

I am addicted to random stupidity...any thoughts?


I have thoughts, yes. But they are random and stupid and therefore not much use to you.

quote:

 My swing is keeping me in suspense... What should I do?  


Well, honestly I would dig a large pit outside in a big, secluded forrest somewhere. Fill the pit with quick drying cement and hop in. After all, swings will keep you in suspense forever.


I am going to the beach tomorrow. I have a towel, sunscreen, chairs, flip flops and sunglasses. I think I am missing something. Any thoughts?



crouchingtigress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:22:17 PM)

i think you are missing two lobsters one for each nipple.....
 
i dont want to go to work....should i call in sick?....



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:25:26 PM)

No, you should call in dead.  Tell them to send your retirement money and death benefits to a guy named Guido in Nepal.
 
My cat won't get off my mousepad.  What should I do?



crouchingtigress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:28:43 PM)

learn to surender to the real master of the house...[;)]
 
 
 
i need things from the store but i dont want to go in my car to get them because ai hate exercise....what should i do?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:30:47 PM)

Call the store, demand to speak to a manager, and yell at them for not delivering on time.

I ate too many chocolate covered strawberries, and now I'm sick of them.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji



crouchingtigress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 9:37:43 PM)

nothing i am afraid you will be dead before i could even get over there to administer the antivenom....*hangs head and sings a sad song for her old friend benji dog* arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooo arrooooooooooooooo woof woof woof......aroooooooooooooooo....
 
 
my friend benji just died and i need to send his family a card....but i dont know what to write....



bancheeEB -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/15/2006 11:55:05 PM)

Make sure that you have the dilect down for benji dogs first...then mail it to the local pound.


I am too sleepy to keep typing  what should I do?



missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 12:42:46 PM)

Teach your pet fish to type for you, putting the keyboard in his tank won't hurt a thing.

I want a bananasplit, but don't have any bananas and am too lazy to go get some. What shall I ever do?



kittinSol -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 12:49:15 PM)

Split a large sausage in two and paint it yellow, then add the ice cream and chocolate sauce or whatever a bansplit's made of.

I need advice, nobody ever looks at me twice.



akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 2:27:43 PM)

Ok the sausage in teh banana split is just nasty.

If you want people to look at you twice dye your hair screaming orange and run around yelling "I'll do anything for a dollar" works every time. trust me [;)]


I've worn out my favorite boots and desperately need a new pair but I can't decide between the 2.5" or the 3" which should i buy?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 2:36:18 PM)

Buy the 5 1/2", that's both in one.

I'm tired.

Yours,


benji



missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 3:32:59 PM)

Go to a matress warehouse, strip naked, and curl up on the most expensive matress they have. You should get a nice rest that way. They won't mine, I promise.

My toenails need trimmed but I can't find my clippers???



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 3:44:05 PM)

Find a sub to bite them off.

After getting naked in the mattress store, the manager thought I had brought in a large boa and had it taken to the zoo.  How do I get my cock back?

Yours,


benji



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 5:18:52 PM)

quote:

After getting naked in the mattress store, the manager thought I had brought in a large boa and had it taken to the zoo.  How do I get my cock back?


Start jerking off. It will eventually come.


OK, I am here at the beach and I am sitting on my laptop looking at the ocean. I need some ideas to do tonight.



Level -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 5:27:38 PM)

Take the laptop swimming, it's good exercise for you both.
 
My 'roids are acting up; any advice?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 5:35:36 PM)

quote:

My 'roids are acting up; any advice?



Get a metal grinder and have at those little devils. If they hurt when you grind them then pour on some lemon juice.


I never sleep the first night in a strange place and I am quite tired, what should I do?



missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 8:45:05 PM)

Demand the hotel send up someone to sing you to sleep.

One of my breast hangs lower than the other. How do I fix it?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/16/2006 8:50:43 PM)

Staple gun.

I need to go to sleep, and don't want to.  How do I make myself want to go to sleep?

Yours,


benji



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