RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 11:31:39 PM)
Tell them they are baby sitting. Why can't I lick my elbow?

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 11:34:24 PM)
Perhaps you should have the handcuffs removed so you can bring your hands out from behind your back. Told my parents they were babysitting, and they loved the idea. Now what do I do? (been fielding "When are you gonna make us grandparents" for about a decade now, so these are quasi serious, vaguely, if you ignore the tongue planted in the cheek... LOL)

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 9:29:43 AM)
quote: Told my parents they were babysitting, and they loved the idea. Now what do I do? Tell your parents that you want them to do housework while you are gone then leave for a bicycle trip across Europe. Am feel very lazy today and I am not inspired to do anything more than sit in front of my computer and vegitate all day. Is this bad?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 9:47:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: Told my parents they were babysitting, and they loved the idea. Now what do I do? Tell your parents that you want them to do housework while you are gone then leave for a bicycle trip across Europe. Am feel very lazy today and I am not inspired to do anything more than sit in front of my computer and vegitate all day. Is this bad? Please do not turn into a tomato...otherwise, okies. i wanna quit smoking again...A/anyone tried the "Commit" lozenges? pinkee

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 11:16:10 AM)
quote: i wanna quit smoking again...A/anyone tried the "Commit" lozenges? Yes, I have. I was a sucker and got committed. When I go into a restaurant I always have a tough time choosing what I want to eat. Is there a way to make this easier?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 2:47:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: i wanna quit smoking again...A/anyone tried the "Commit" lozenges? Yes, I have. I was a sucker and got committed. When I go into a restaurant I always have a tough time choosing what I want to eat. Is there a way to make this easier? Pretend to speak spanish only and get kicked out. pinkee

Bluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 4:13:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge When I go into a restaurant I always have a tough time choosing what I want to eat. Is there a way to make this easier? Move to a poverty stricken country and eat whatever they put in front of you. I have about 16 hours left of work to do today, but it 4pm on a Friday and I would rather go home. Do you think my clients will mind if I just leave a message on my phone that says I died and please call tech support on Monday?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/9/2006 10:33:49 PM)
quote: I have about 16 hours left of work to do today, but it 4pm on a Friday and I would rather go home. Do you think my clients will mind if I just leave a message on my phone that says I died and please call tech support on Monday? Well, I think that this is a wonderful idea. Go for it. It would be best if you do die just for the weekend to make the story legitimate. I am sure there is a doctor out there that can give you something to feign death and bring you back on Monday morning. I really am pissed off right now. There is an all night rally for some cause over at the stadium next to my house. There is loud music and shouting and cheers. I am all for the cause they represent, but their being here will interrupt my sleep. What should I do?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 6:00:08 AM)
Release a herd of bulls so that they can participate in a ‘running of the bulls’ like in Spain. Or Convince them to take part in political dialogue and start the path to peaceful protest. Or Tell the students there is an offer on at the mall for cut price pencils How can I be assured that the porn films I buy are up to my high standards before wasting my money to watch 30 minutes of people getting dressed and undressed?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 7:52:38 AM)
quote: How can I be assured that the porn films I buy are up to my high standards before wasting my money to watch 30 minutes of people getting dressed and undressed? 1. Check for that 'No animals were harmed in the making of this film' label. 2. Make sure the Gay Approved sticker is in place. 3. Avoid those films in which the actresses get killed. 4. Avoid the TeleTubbies. My pet python likes to curl up in his water bowll. The silly thing is going to drown. What should I do?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 7:58:07 AM)
Stop putting water in the bowl. This will have the added benefit of preventing that wrinkly, waterlogged skin look, 'cause no one likes a wrinkly python. I want to go outside, but it's rainy and cold out there. What can I do to entertain myself indoors all day?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 10:57:42 AM)
quote: I want to go outside, but it's rainy and cold out there. What can I do to entertain myself indoors all day? This is easy. Pull up the carpet all over your house. Call some friends over and invite them to watch the floor show. I released the bulls on the gathering at the stadium, but now the bulls are shitting all over the street. What do I do now?

submissvelilbrat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 12:18:26 PM)
easiest one yet!!! stop the bullshit! i am sitting here debating pubic hair....shave or wax...suggestions?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 2:37:28 PM)
quote: i am sitting here debating pubic hair....shave or wax...suggestions? Neither. Get yourself 20 pairs of tweezers and have those 20 slaveboys you wanted pluck them all out one at a time. It'll be fun. Trust me. I have no carpet in my house to pull up, because we did that two years ago, so the floor show has become really boring. Not to mention it's now a dirty mess because Jerry Lee Lewis burned my freakin' house down! How can I get it rebuilt before Master gets home next weekend so I don't get in trouble?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 5:18:15 PM)
quote: I have no carpet in my house to pull up, because we did that two years ago, so the floor show has become really boring. Not to mention it's now a dirty mess because Jerry Lee Lewis burned my freakin' house down! How can I get it rebuilt before Master gets home next weekend so I don't get in trouble? Easy. Just get the front rebuilt and then have a tent attached to the front door. Furnish with everything you can so it looks like normal. Just don't let him go out inti the back yard. It is 8:15 and I am tired, but I shouldn't be tired. Should I lay down for a few minutes or should I just grin and bear it and stay awake?

missalice -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 5:25:30 PM)
Crystal meth, honey. That's what truckers use! I have a creepy looking scar on my knee from being a klutz as a child, and I'm a fetish model -- how can I help deal with this blemish?

Kindred2Evil -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/10/2006 5:33:12 PM)
Why you add more and more funky scars until it becomes your "thing" of course!! The hubby is putting together my CSI puzzle and wants me to help, this thing has made me feel quite insane as it has NO picture!!! What should I do?

submissvelilbrat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/11/2006 6:22:11 AM)
tell hubby you will time him to see how long it takes HIM to put the puzzle together, then he can time you. As soon as he is done, take colored sharpie pens and draw your own picture(s) on the darn thing, take it apart, and re-assemble. But make sure there is a good "PRIZE" for winning this challenge! I have laundry to do that will take me about 3 hours to finish, but I want to play today..what to do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/11/2006 12:09:49 PM)
quote: I have laundry to do that will take me about 3 hours to finish, but I want to play today..what to do? OK... well, this will take a little cooperation from your Dom, but this should work. Have you ever seen those people that take their clothes to a river and beat them on rocks to get the clothes clean? Well... go to a local river and tie all the clothes to yourself and jump in the river. Spread soap on the clothes and have your dom thrash the hell out of you. Then jump in the river and rinse the clothes. Then go home and have your Dom hoist you up in a tree and suspend you there for several hours until the clothes have dried. See? Laundry and fun at the same time. You are now the ultimate multi-tasker. Should I make my answers to this thread shorter?

submissvelilbrat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/11/2006 7:08:21 PM)
absolutely not! Yours are some of the most fun ones to read. It's all in fun, right? Make them as long as You wish. i have to go on a business trip again this week, what can i do for fun after office hours?

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