RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:07:41 AM)
wear a remote egg to work and keep it turned on low. Trust me you will have no desire to sleep at all. I have a serious problem. i love to buy underwear but i'm broke. what can i do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:15:37 AM)
Buy it at thrift stores. I swear, those stains will go away if you soak them in hydrochloric acid overnight. I just bought some new furniture, and have a bunch of styrofoam kicking around. To throw it out, I need to break it apart, and if I do that, I have those little bits of it sticking to everything. How do I kill the guy who invented that shit? Yours, benji

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:27:10 AM)
quote: I just bought some new furniture, and have a bunch of styrofoam kicking around. To throw it out, I need to break it apart, and if I do that, I have those little bits of it sticking to everything. How do I kill the guy who invented that shit? Very slowly, and painfully. Stick a few thousand straight pins in him, put him in a box filled with little flecks of the stuff and ship him to Zimbabwe by way of Antarctica. If the UPS guy doesn't jostle him to death, the cannibals will have him for dinner. I'm afraid of both heights and ladders. How can I work up enough courage to paint the exterior of the upper floors of my house?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:39:35 AM)
Get on the roof, with a giant vat of paint & a bungy cord. Jump into the vat, then jump off the roof. Climb back up, attach the bungy cord to the chimney, and jump off. Climb back up, muttering about the literal instructions, attach the bungy cord to your feet as well, then jump off. If you do it just right, you'll be pulled back up along the side of the house, painting it nicely. I now have to assemble all this furniture, but it didn't come with istructions, and the guy who knew how was killed and eaten by antarctic cannibals, making the Zimbabwean cannibals die of starvation. How can we save them? Yours, benji

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 11:05:08 AM)
Voodoo. Then you can eat the antarctic cannibals, because I read somewhere that if you eat someone you gain their superpowers. There are a bunch of Zimbabwean zombies running around outside my house and I just ran out of shotgun shells. What's the next best weapon for rekilling Benji's starving zombies?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 12:50:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain Voodoo. Then you can eat the antarctic cannibals, because I read somewhere that if you eat someone you gain their superpowers. There are a bunch of Zimbabwean zombies running around outside my house and I just ran out of shotgun shells. What's the next best weapon for rekilling Benji's starving zombies? Empty cat food tins. A/anyone know of a fish that can share a un-airated fish bowl with a beta? pinkee

akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 1:29:50 PM)
a pirahna or two should do nicely my mind is in the gutter and i can't concentrate on anything else. what can i do to get through the rest of the work day?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 2:25:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha a pirahna or two should do nicely my mind is in the gutter and i can't concentrate on anything else. what can i do to get through the rest of the work day? Get laid..well. My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do? pinkee

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 5:46:23 PM)
quote: My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do? Leave it in the baskets. It's gonna wind up back there, anyway, right? I'm still trying to get over my fear of heights long enough to paint my house. Benji gave me some good ideas on how to paint it without having to climb a ladder, but I'm still too scared to do it that way. Bungee cords are really scary! How can I overcome this fear?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 5:49:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce quote: My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do? Leave it in the baskets. It's gonna wind up back there, anyway, right? I'm still trying to get over my fear of heights long enough to paint my house. Benji gave me some good ideas on how to paint it without having to climb a ladder, but I'm still too scared to do it that way. Bungee cords are really scary! How can I overcome this fear? It's impossible. Take up wh*ring outside a Sherwin-Williams store instead. How can i get the HNGs i foolishly gave my Yahell nick to, to stop IM'ing me? pinkee

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 6:31:46 PM)
Well, tell them that you are really a guy. And you can back this up by sending them nekkid pictures of VandalHeart, if you do not have any, PM me and I will send you some. (I am sooooo gonna pay for that last comment.) My cat stares at nothing and then meows at thin air. . . why is he doing this?

pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 6:39:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaMalinche Well, tell them that you are really a guy. And you can back this up by sending them nekkid pictures of VandalHeart, if you do not have any, PM me and I will send you some. (I am sooooo gonna pay for that last comment.) My cat stares at nothing and then meows at thin air. . . why is he doing this? Yes please, send the nakie pictures. Your cat needs a cat psychiatrist. Don't you ever watch "Animal Planet"? Lam isn't playing "English Grammar"; do Y/you suppose something awful happened to Him? pinkee

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:39:47 PM)
quote: Lam isn't playing "English Grammar"; do Y/you suppose something awful happened to Him? Of course something awful has happened to him. I am sure several good things have happened as well. Come to think of it... maybe he ran off with the elephant in his avatar. I can't decide what to do. I have to do laundry, I have to clean my apartment and I have to clean out my car. What should I do? And if I don't do all of this stuff, is there a way for me not to feel guilty?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:54:16 PM)
Blame the slave. Always blame the slave. A friend is moving to China next week, and I haven't bought him a going away gift. How do explain delicately that I'm happy to see him go? Yours, benji

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 9:57:55 PM)
Drugs. . . lots and lots of drugs. . . You cannot feel guilty when you are on ectasy. I keep hearing bells. . . and it is not christmas time. What do I do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 10:07:43 PM)
Decorate the house, get a tree, call up Santa, and expect gifts. A friend is moving to China next week, and I haven't bought him a going away gift. How do explain delicately that I'm happy to see him go? Yours, benji

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 10:10:10 PM)
Oh. . . that one is easy. . . Just say, "You know I love you. . . now get the fuck out of my life!" When is Santa gonna get here, and should I have really started that fire in the fireplace?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 10:28:56 PM)
Tuesday. Yes. How do I get enough sleep if it's 1:28 now, and I have to be up by 7? Yours, benji

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 11:03:33 PM)
Excessive masturbation followed by a night cap. How do I get the dust off of the window blinds? Vendavla quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji Tuesday. Yes. How do I get enough sleep if it's 1:28 now, and I have to be up by 7? Yours, benji

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2006 11:26:43 PM)
Just use a leaf blower, preferably one that Tim Allen has worked on. I am trying to find a delicate way of threatening my parents if they buy my daughter so much as a single noisy toy. Any suggestions?

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