RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:06:42 AM)
Get a few thousand together and get a slave from Nigeria to hep you to scams... they are pretty good at it.........(LOL) How can I increase my chances of winning the lottery?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:08:49 AM)
To Benji: Don't worry about it. . . no one believes that dogs can talk. And if they start to act suspicious, just pee on their leg. . . or hum it, whichever works for you. That will take their mind off of what your ulterior motives are. To mnottertail: Get hit by lightening eleven times. Should up your odds a treat. . . or you could just right about the experiance and collect the royalties. I am looking for a hero, a champion, my knight in kevlar armour. . . where can I find one?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:40:17 AM)
quote: I'm sitting in the middle of Lake Tahoe and the inline fuel filter for my Donzi is clogged with debris and I don't have another to replace it. What should I do? Well, take it out... who needs a fuel filter anyway? Take the one end of the hose and let the fuel spill into a paper cup and then pick out the little bits of stuff and then put the other hose going to the motor into the cup and suck out the fuel. This is the safest way to do this. Also, because you are out in the open, it is OK to smoke while doing this. quote: I am looking for a hero, a champion, my knight in kevlar armour. . . where can I find one? Simple... 1-800-KEVLAR-ARMOR-CHAMPION-KNIGHT-LOVETOY I know that Benji is posting a response as I write this... what should I do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:40:41 AM)
Museum of Medeival times. How can I get to 2000 posts really quickly? Yours, benji

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:44:08 AM)
quote: How can I get to 2000 posts really quickly? Go to the nearest big city. I am sure they have at least 2000 lamp posts. I know that Benji is posting a response as I write this... what should I do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:47:44 AM)
RUN!!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! How do I get rid of my threadwetting stigma? Yours, benji

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 10:55:22 AM)
quote: How do I get rid of my threadwetting stigma? Electro-convulsive Therapy is the only way to treat threadwetting. Take the cover off of the electrical panel box in your home or apartment and lick the middle bar. This is a cheap and effective way to do this. I have many ideas for inventions. All of them should make millions of dollars. What should I do?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 12:15:59 PM)
Post your ideas on Live Journal and invite all your friends to share in the wealth. I need to wash My car today but the apartment complex has rules against this practice. How do I get it clean and sparkly new again? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have many ideas for inventions. All of them should make millions of dollars. What should I do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 12:48:01 PM)
quote: I need to wash My car today but the apartment complex has rules against this practice. How do I get it clean and sparkly new again? If your apartment complex has laundry facilities, take your car apart and put the pieces in the washing machines. Then put them in the dryer. Don't forget the dryer sheet though. Your car will have that Spring fresh scent. I am having problems with my computer. It keeps telling me that it is old and tired. What should I do?

ShreveportMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 1:46:21 PM)
run it through a time machine so it can become new and vigorous again. I need to get to vegas, but am too cheap to spring for a bus ticket, what should I do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 2:15:27 PM)
Walk? I bought new furniture, what should I do with the old stuff? Yours, benji

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 3:03:32 PM)
Have an improptu bonfire outside your local courthouse. That way it makes the whole community feel involved. I have to go look for apartments tomorrow. Any advice about what I should look for?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 3:16:48 PM)
quote: I have to go look for apartments tomorrow. Any advice about what I should look for? Uh… buildings that have a big sign that says APARTMENTS outside. Hurricane season is coming and I don't have repairs from last season done. What advice can you give?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/5/2006 4:18:26 PM)
quote: Hurricane season is coming and I don't have repairs from last season done. What advice can you give? Don't make the repairs. This way regardless of if there is a hurricane or not you can file an insurance damage claim for this year too. I think I need new shoes but I really hate shopping. Is there an easier way?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 11:07:38 AM)
Find someone with your same size feet and pay them in cash up front to go try on shoes for you. About $200 in unmarked bills should do the trick. The landscaping in front of My apartment is a work in progress and now there are crickets sneaking inside and singing under the cabinets. How do I catch the little buggers? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I think I need new shoes but I really hate shopping. Is there an easier way?

Pavel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 11:27:53 AM)
"The landscaping in front of My apartment is a work in progress and now there are crickets sneaking inside and singing under the cabinets. How do I catch the little buggers?" Napalm. You must destroy the yard to save it! I'm out of cheese. Yet getting cheese from the store requires effort. What should I do?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 11:47:47 AM)
quote: I'm out of cheese. Yet getting cheese from the store requires effort. What should I do? Stock up on American cheese food product. It has no flavor, no texture, and no nutrition. You won't want to go out for cheese ever again. I like roquefort cheese but it gives me stinky breath. How can I still have a social life?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 7:08:55 PM)
quote: I like roquefort cheese but it gives me stinky breath. How can I still have a social life? Join a Roquefort Cheese Eating Club. You can find them at www.roquefort_gives_me_a_woody.com I want to do something nice for my friend who is down in the dumps. Any suggestions?

akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 8:00:36 PM)
101 ways to commit suicide successfully with out a mess. Always a good pick me up when I'm down s I want to make a good impression when i meet new people, what can i do to make sure they like me?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2006 9:50:43 PM)
quote: I want to make a good impression when i meet new people, what can i do to make sure they like me? Greet them on your knees with an open mouth. A friend keeps trying out tasteless sugar-free carb-free salt-free recipes on me. Gak. What can I do?

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