RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 7:43:26 AM)

CPR, and if that doesn't work, call an ambulance.

I'm hungry, but have no idea where my map of Europe is to find it.

Yours,


benji

PS:  That one may take some thought.  Sorry.



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 7:54:33 AM)

not quite sure where hungary is either..damn public schools  (or was it my fondness for altered states of conciousness during my twenties ok and part of my thirties .....sheesh you people are tough!)

Go to the International House Of Panckes.  I think their placemat is a map!

I need to find a new job, but all I want to do is serve my Master and chat on the boards!  How can I come up with money to live?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 7:57:19 AM)

Find a new Master, one that will whore you out online.  I hear there are a lot of those kicking around.

How can I break my CM addiction?

Yours,


benji



CERCKL -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:02:11 AM)

Easy, lock yourself in the bathroom with a lot of heroin...you'll forget all about CM and the forums.
I cannot seem to get myself to wash my dishes, what should I do?

C



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:05:57 AM)

Punish yourself. One hour kneeling on rice.  Next time it's broken glass.

I can't seem...  brb.....

to break....  brb

my her....... brb

oin... brb

addiction....  What brb

Should I do...  brb

?

Yours,


brb


benji



Aileen68 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:05:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL
I cannot seem to get myself to wash my dishes, what should I do?

C


As soon as your done eating make sure you just lick em clean then put them right back into the cabinet.
Right and ready for your next meal.

There's this doggie running wild through the collarme message boards...what should we do with him?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:11:11 AM)

Pet him, beat him, and do anything he desires.

Again, heroin issue.

Yours,


benji



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:11:14 AM)

tie him up and beat him with a rolled up newpaper!

I am considering taking the doggie's advice and am going to ask my Master if he can whore me out to pay the bills.  What kind of wine should I serve with dinner?



CERCKL -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:14:11 AM)

Forget the wine...join Benji in the bathroom with his baggie of heroin.

My son refuses to clean the rabbit cages what should I do?

C



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 8:28:46 AM)


kill the rabbits butcher them and then make him eat rabbit stew until he can't eat no more

Now I have a craving for rabbit stew.  Any suggestions on a good recipe?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 10:31:07 PM)

quote:

Now I have a craving for rabbit stew.  Any suggestions on a good recipe?


Yes, I have got one but it calls for two hares and not many people like hare in their stew.


I let my oldest son drive the car for the first time today. He doesn't have a license. Should I let him do it again or not?



ShreveportMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 1:37:28 AM)

yes, but only if he has a large box of donuts to bribe the cops with if he gets pulled over.


a slave I know is thinking of getting a perm, but wants to save money...should I tell her to go French Kiss a light socket?



LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 3:58:16 AM)

What are you, a sadist.  Sheesh. . . everyone knows that for a cheap perm you stick pennies in the light socket.  French Kissing it just makes your teeth extra clean because the electricity repels plaque and lets you save on money to the dentist.

Just my 2 cents. . . and I am handing them over right now.

I worked all night and drank 4 Red Bulls and 3 pots of coffee.  Now I can't sleep.  What should I do?

That heroin looks good Benji.  If I throw a ball will you drop it out of your mouth?



FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 5:56:04 AM)

Take part in a ‘Touch the truck’ style TV quiz where you get to keep the truck if you stay awake longer than the others touching it.

I’m in a dispute with my neighbour over an ancient covenant that says he can build a McDonalds franchise at the end of his garden if he wishes. How can I fight this?



missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 9:05:39 AM)

Tell him you will build a Burger King and always undersale him. If you run yours in the nude you will get enough tips to make up for the low prices and he will be out of business in no time.

There is a dead mouse in my bedroom and I am afraid of dead mice. How do I get it out of there???



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 9:57:35 AM)

quote:

There is a dead mouse in my bedroom and I am afraid of dead mice. How do I get it out of there???


Burn the house down.  Once the mouse is reduced to ashes, you'll be able to remove it.
 
I just told someone to burn their house down, and now I'm being questioned as an accessory to arson.  What should I tell the police?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 10:21:10 AM)

quote:

I just told someone to burn their house down, and now I'm being questioned as an accessory to arson.  What should I tell the police?


Tell them there was a dead mouse in the house. This happens all the time and I am sure you will be released from custody... after you post bail.


I think I should be a lawyer. Is there any way to do that without having to go through all that silly school?



FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 10:29:15 AM)

To become a lawyer all you really have to do is add the words ‘my client’ to the start of every sentence you speak. You also have to join a bar club, I hear there is usually at least one in every town.

My neighbour’s kids keep annoying me with the endless noise they make. How can I fix this problem?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 10:31:07 AM)

lots of duct tape

My neighbors keep calling the cops on me for walking around my house in the nude and all the body hair they find distrubing.  What should I do?



Pleasureprincess -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/4/2006 10:33:39 AM)

You are in your own home. they need to stop watching you the perverts! LOL
You are in your house so they should just mind their business.



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