RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 6:31:37 AM)
Wave back. Walls are generally more friendly than people give them credit... I seem to have confused bleach with mouthwash this morning and I have this annoying burning sensation in the back of my throat. Is there anything to worry about?

missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 6:34:48 AM)
Not at all, it's just doing it's job and killing all the germs. I was letting a candle burn while it was in my ass, then I fell asleep. How do I get the candle stump out?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 6:35:20 AM)
don't worry about it you will at least have nice white teeth They are coming for me what do I do

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 6:42:14 AM)
" I was letting a candle burn while it was in my ass, then I fell asleep. How do I get the candle stump out?" Beans and jumping jacks. Sure 'fire' way. " They are coming for me what do I do" Bake them a cake I mistook allergy pills for Viagra and now every time I sneeze, another stain shows up in my shorts. Is this normal?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 6:59:41 AM)
totaly, in fact you can sell it as undershorts body art on ebay "They" do not like cake it seems and they have been angered, what do I do

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 7:13:27 AM)
Start a food fight and at an opportune time, spray them in the face with whipped cream. I was killing some time by trying to clean my shotgun again, just in case of stupid people coming to my house again, and seem to have gotten my penis stuck in the trigger guard. Any suggestions on how to remedy the situation?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 10:26:18 AM)
quote: I was killing some time by trying to clean my shotgun again, just in case of stupid people coming to my house again, and seem to have gotten my penis stuck in the trigger guard. Any suggestions on how to remedy the situation? This is going to be tricky but if you follow what I tell you exactly to the letter you will be fine. First of all remove your penis from the trigger guard and see if it is damaged. Then reinsert your penis into the trigger guard and observe how it got stuck. Then, just do the reverse and your penis will be out from under the gun. My next door neighbor keeps bugging me to take them places as they have no car. This is becoming a serious problem because they nag at me to do this for them. What can I do to stop myself from going insane?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 10:52:30 AM)
wait till you truly do go insane and then shoot them, this way you can get off with an insanity verdict. when I'm in a parking spot about to leave people have a habit of pulling behind my car and stopping, what should I do?

Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 10:52:39 AM)
<edited...damnit Wolf lol > Ram into the side of their car as hard as you can and say "oopsie" I now have new neighbors moving in upstairs and they are loud as hell, what should I do?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 10:56:41 AM)
call the best lover you know over have a party in your bedroom and prove to them that you can be loud too I crashed into their car and said oopsie but the cop didn't buy it so now I have a broken tail light and am being sued, what should I do?

Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 11:11:22 AM)
tell the cop to piss off and refuse to pay for any damages I invited a slave over and we made a ton of noise of in the bedroom the neighbors called the cops because the boy was screaming from CBT and now I have a house full of cops and am being arrested for assault because they caught me in mid swing of the cock whip... what do I do?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 11:14:11 AM)
wink at them and smile real pretty and innocent like, call them daddy too. If all else fails offer to take then all out for a round of doughnuts. I told the cop to piss off, he yelled at me, I said "bad cop no doughtnut!", and he arrested me. What am I supposed to do now?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 11:16:12 AM)
quote: I crashed into their car and said oopsie but the cop didn't buy it so now I have a broken tail light and am being sued, what should I do? Kill them, in the long run it will be cheaper, especially if they have a lawyer. Meanwhile free room and board will be provided by the state. And, unlike the car accident, the lawyer to defend your "justifiable homicide" will also be provided free by the State. beth and I are flying on the 'red-eye' to the east coast. How soon after take off should we re-establish our membership into the "Mile High" club? Should we ask the flight attendant to join us?

Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 11:17:07 AM)
<edited> Hiyas Merc quote: beth and I are flying on the 'red-eye' to the east coast. How soon after take off should we re-establish our membership into the "Mile High" club? Should we ask the flight attendant to join us? after about 2 minutes after take off when you grab the flight attendant and put her over your knee and paddle her ass [:D] quote: I told the cop to piss off, he yelled at me, I said "bad cop no doughtnut!", and he arrested me. What am I supposed to do now? wink at him and smile all pretty and innocent like and call him daddy and waggle your tongue at him just a bit then wiggle your hips just soo... I smiled cutely at them and batted my lashes, now I have 5 cops handcuffed to my bed and drooling, what do I do?

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/2/2006 12:18:37 PM)
Grab a pair of racing crops and pretend their ass cheeks are bars on a xylophone. I finally figured out what went wrong with the shotgun, but in the process, I seem to have ruptured a testicle. How should I explain this to the doctor?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 12:28:07 AM)
Simple, you tell your doc that your wife and your girlfriend are both ball-busters. I have mosquito bites on my legs and they are itching like mad. What should I do? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: Dustyn I finally figured out what went wrong with the shotgun, but in the process, I seem to have ruptured a testicle. How should I explain this to the doctor?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 1:05:45 AM)
quote: I have mosquito bites on my legs and they are itching like mad. What should I do? Get your teeth around them and bite them off. If you can't reach them with your teeth, call the policemen above to assist. My female cat has developed a passion for my pet ferret. What should I do? (The was once a real life situation. The cat went into heat and would drape herself over the unneutered ferret and nuzzle his balls. Eventually she'd raise her tail and back up into his face, whereupon he'd bite her in the box. She'd yelp and run off and sulk, but an hour later she'd be back rubbing all over him.)

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 4:01:28 AM)
Perform a wedding ceremony. Just because they are different species does not mean that they should not have a happy life togeather. You are not one of those people that oppose gay marriage I bet. Stop being so speciest. I mistook the nair for my conditioner. . . what should I do? I had always thought that my hair was wavy. . . but it is really that my scalp is wavy.

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 4:23:52 AM)
Either go to the local auto parts store and invest in some Turtle Wax and a polishing cloth or get some red suspenders and Doc Martins and hope the local skinheads have a vacancy. I have discovered that I have a propensity towards twitching people for sheer humor value. Should I worry if they start foaming at the mouth?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/3/2006 7:39:07 AM)
quote: I have discovered that I have a propensity towards twitching people for sheer humor value. Should I worry if they start foaming at the mouth? Stop twitching people. They probably won't foam if you twitch them, but they might call the police. My laptop battery died. What should I do?

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