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RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 5:51:53 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Don't know about toys, but once when I was a kid, I had a chica tied spread eagled and butt naked on the Ethan Allen kitchen table and was nailing her when her Mom quite unexpectedly walked in having decided that it was a perfect day to leave work early for an lil snack...

Strangely enough, I was looking for almost the same thing...

< Message edited by Kana -- 6/22/2010 6:22:04 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 7:53:01 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've posted this before, a long time ago but here goes again

Where I worked, you were subject to random searches on the way out.  One day, I was randomly pulled over for a search.  I popped the trunk, and the security guard proceeded to pull out my bag full of BDSM items while everyone I worked with drove by, rubber necking.  Gotta love a good humiliation scene.

Another time, I went outside to find two of my sons playing swords with my vibrators.  To add insult to injury, we lived on a Cul-De-Sac so there simply wasn't any one of my neighbors NOT facing them, to see what they were playing with.

Fun times

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 10:53:44 AM   
cassandria


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline 		*laughing*

Kana, the Ethan Allan kitchen table?? LOLOL

I loved reading some of these, just hilarious :) I'm trying to imagine my petite, white-bunned little old Oma (grandmother), commenting on rope being too short to climb with - I just can't see it!

But I have my own....and it's kinda 'different'...

heehee

When I lived in Kuwait, we had toys...and they had to be smuggled in. It's not like you can go to the local sex shop and get them. Certain 'feminine stores' could illegally order them in, but if you're caught...yikes. And in a region where reputation is *everything*, getting caught isn't your issue. You can buy your way out of that. It's your name...if anyone leaks it...that's the issue. Loss of job, etc. So, they were pretty precious, these toys.

We went to go visit some of his family, just over the border...in Saudi Arabia. Alone. No children. Woot!

Saudi has some serious border checks - it takes about an hour to get through them, men and women are segregated, there's even a mosque for prayertime, it takes so long to get through the checks..

Some of these guards were his relatives - cousins. So we sailed through just fine. The bags were in the car - kinsmen guards - life's good. We zoomed on through from Kuwait to Dammam,KSA where we caught a flight to Madinah (one of the two holy cities).

This is during Ramadaan. The month where muslims fast during the day (read: no sex either...it's purification of the entire body, and mind). People are extra-careful of their speech, their manners, and often are extremely cranky around sundown, because they're hungry - but more, they're thirsty.

So, we get our bags...and they're checking them. It's near sundown. I'm veiled from head to toe, as usual. Black mummy is me. Ex Husband/Master is looking pristine and cool in his whites, as is custom there.

And I notice the guards opening *that* bag.

I can't even tug on his sleeve, it'd be considered rude there - you don't touch each other in public, at ALL. EVER. I got in serious trouble for that within the first weeks of being there. I did it once, never again.

So he's just chatting casually, fiddling with his cell phone....and I'm trying to breathe under my niqaab (faceveil) because I *know* the curiosity of these guys, and I can just ...imagine....oh lawd I think I felt faint LOL...hope Master/hubby can deal with this without transferring the blame to me - what are the odds?!

And then the guy pulls out a purple vibrator. And starts playing with it. Looking at it, turning it around, trying to figure it out.

Turns it ON. Bzzzzzzzzzzz. Niiiice.

Did I mention I don't like other people's hands on my toys?? But I couldn't SAY anything! I can't speak in that arena...it would be ALL wrong..and besides, what would I say anyway!? Don't touch my vibrator, that goes in MY pussy, and the other one goes in MY ass, not yours, you pervert? yaaaa I can just see that conversation playing out...

But at the same time I was completely MORTIFIED...I mean, those are so personal...aiiiieeeeeeee...gosh I was grateful to be veiled that day, I could just lower my eyes and basically become invisible..or hope....I'm sure my cheeks were as bright pink as the next vibe that he pulled out of the bag...Just let the floor open up and swallow me...please? Please?

The odds are, the average male in Saudi...that he has *never* before seen anything like this, in his life. And he keeps on going. Puts it down, keeps pulling things out of the bag. I'm watching, horrified...and yet the humour, it's there too lololol.....

And he pulls out the paddles. And a crop. My ex, his face..he's now seeing what's going on, as he heard the bzzzzzz of the vibe the one guard has turned on. And the guards are excitedly talking together, passing things around...and my ex....hasbiAllah LOL....he masked it quickly, his shock... then made a *HUGE* fuss about how they should NEVER go into a "woman's personal things, have you no RESPECT, people?!!! She's my Canadian wife, she has the latest in beauty technology - put that BACK, get your hands OFF my wife's things!!!!!!"

An arab temper is a sight to behold...and he's not a small guy...and oh wow was he mad...and hollering...and threatening...and oh gosh guys just listen to him...

The guards very, very quickly pushed everything back into the bag....by that time, they had everything out, so it took a minute...and EVERYONE around us was staring, I mean, the women were quickly lowering their gaze but the men...oh my...everyone staring.

My shoulders were shaking, I was holding back the laughter by then...omgosh it was *that* funny. Freaky, but funny....I must have been blushing while holding back the laughter...I was sooo embarassed, but now that I look back on it, it was pretty amusing

We walked out of the airport, and my Master/husband, once in the car....we went for a wee 'drive'.....he was laughing SOOOOOO hard...I was just about peeing....beauty products?? Omgosh I've heard of exploiting and all but canadian beauty products...?! I'm wiping my eyes, he's cracking up...he's like "well you *do* look stunning when your holes are filled, and you're begging and begging...*

uh huh.

And later on, we discovered one was missing. Guess someone wanted my "Canadian beauty technology" :P

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 11:52:48 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ahh airports!  I forgot to share the story about my travel partners dildo bouncing down the airports conveyor belt....fun times.

(in reply to cassandria)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 8:01:30 PM   
MyNameisMaam


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		2 moving stories -

1) The guy disassembling the 4 poster bed asked why one of the posts was bent drastically toward the mattress. I said "that's what happens in the midst of an orgasm when your legs are tied to those posts." He said "I can fix that!" and proceeded to repair the rails for me before it got packed into the moving van.

2) my mother was packing up my pantry during a move and wanted to know why I had a fry daddy full of purple wax. I told her it was for parafin treatments when I give myself manicures.

(in reply to Hawkwindblues)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/22/2010 8:58:30 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria
And later on, we discovered one was missing. Guess someone wanted my "Canadian beauty technology" :P

This was one of the most entertaining things that I have read in a long time.  Thank you for sharing it.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to cassandria)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/23/2010 8:00:30 AM   
cassandria


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline 		*grins*

Anytime - I'm delighted you were entertained

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/23/2010 10:27:12 AM   
HisSub1213


Posts: 219
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline 		~FR~

My oldest Daughter was over not long ago and I sent her into the bed room to get something out of one of my dressers. Except I didn't remember to mention WHICH dresser. The look on her face said that she got a good look at the top drawer where I keep my toys. To her credit she never said a word.

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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. (Elbert Hubbard)

Fear is the mother of morality. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

(in reply to cassandria)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/23/2010 10:56:44 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		I went out to work one day. Normally, I would put my toys and whatnot away. That particular day, I was in a hurry. Left a book out, with a vibe as a bookmark. I come home, the vibe is on the floor. Page is changed, and dog eared (I hate that with a brand new book so I KNOW it wasnt me), and snack cakes were left on my bed, along with a note on my door that said "Picked up some snack cakes, and left a few on your bed." Bless my Dad's heart. I dont know if he will ever be the same...

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The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/23/2010 2:35:37 PM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Great writing......

i was 22 and had a house fire,unfortunately i was hospitalzed with a blood clot while it happened. My Dad and step mother nicely helped my mother pick up the debri off my front lawn, and low and behold my Dad who you couldn't even say period around,,, found my vibe laying on the ground aroung the corner of the house,i had between the matress and box spring. So, of course my step mother had to tell me how funny this 6 foot 4 man looked wiggling that around stomping over to her "wth is this thing?" lmao. As far as toys ,shoot.my kids have found them all over the place when of course they(all over 18) were somewhere they shouldn't have been,but a few lost things have been found unexpectedly under a sofa or how about my grand daughter pulling out Master's condoms the other day asking me for candy? lol.  i said"um i think You forgot to tuck those extras in my zipper part of the purse didn't You?, He just chuckled and said oops forgot to tell ya i had an extra two for You this time,but life goes on. But the funnyiest was my then 19 yr old son walking in on me playing under the cover yrs back and i turned it up instead of down bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz it goes as he red-faced says ohell Mom,lol and walked out. i said like i always do, doesn't a grown woman get any privacy around here and why don't You people knock! All Y/you can do is laugh it's life,hehe~ jewels

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God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/23/2010 8:09:15 PM   
MissBeautiful2U


Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		Just after 9/11 I was traveling by plane and forgot to take the batteries out of my vibe that I had taken with me.  It went off in Chicago during a layover and I got called up to the podium (where we were supposed to be waiting to board for the next flight) and ordered to open my back because it was making a strange noise.  I was both embarrassed and tickled by the situation.  Later, looking back, I realize that I was lucky that they hadn't treated it more "seriously" and delayed me because I was really tired and ready to get where I was going and was on the last leg of a long flight.

(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/25/2010 8:10:59 PM   
KevinSWM


Posts: 41
Joined: 6/1/2010
Status: offline 		This thread is gold! I'm glad I read it it too because it made me realize I left a toy in the bathroom and my mom is due in any minute!

Wish I had more to contribute. I've had the "child finds toy but doesn't know what it is" situation a couple times but other then that nothing exciting to tell.

(in reply to MissBeautiful2U)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/26/2010 9:49:49 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Before I was a slave I was a Domme. My Master had a new pet he was training and asked me to bring one of my crops. I had it between the front seats of my van, and on my way there my van broke down and I had to call 911 for help. A young police officer stopped and was very kind, but I noticed he kept putting emphasis one the word "Ma'am"; "is there anything I can do to help you, "Ma'am", "it's a hot day, would you like to sit in the back of my car, Ma'am", "I'll be parked in the median and if you need me for anything just come let me know, Ma'am".

It was a little confusing to me why he was being quite so nice and why he kept calling me Ma'am until he walked away and I saw the crop right there in plain sight in all of its pink and black glory.

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RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/26/2010 10:00:01 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		After my random search fiasco, my boss came into my office the next day and said very softly and shyly "If you know anyone who wants a boytoy.....let me know."  Then he quickly left.  I dont' know who was more embarassed. 

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/26/2010 10:18:28 AM   
maat


Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		i have a nasty habbit of taking photos of things that realy isent every once buissines. Unfortunatly i keep forgeting whats on the memory cards so next time i go someplace and bring photos to show or give away, well, guess what, there is my toy box in all its glory, every clamp, knife, flogger and whip for all to see.

Upp till now i managed to keep them from beeing seen but i realy shuld learn not to take them with me in the first place. Last time it happend i brought some holiday photos to mom, along with the holeday pix i also had a series of photos of spreader bars i made, my newly remodeld toy cabinet and close ups of yupp, every thingel thing in the cabinet.

Luckaly for me she was fixing something in the ktichen so i culd take the photos away and give her just the once that was intended for her.

one of these days im not going to be so lucky.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/26/2010 10:27:08 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh god....phones and memory cards.  Just a couple months ago I was in an auditorium filled with parents and families all proudly videotaping their children...  I went to view the videos I took of my own son, and instead opened up a porno.    Aparently one of my sons thought it was a good idea to download porno onto my phone.  It wouldn't have been so bad, if the woman in the porno wasn't screaming in orgasm and my sound was all the way up.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/30/2010 6:28:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		And a brand new one from just two minutes ago..............

The cable guy is here changing us from DSL to cable internet.  The guy is putting in brand new cable, running it behind the desk.  I'm keeping the CM windows closed any time here comes near.

Only problem is, clip's red leather collar was still sitting on My desk from our ritual of changing over to the every day one.


Whoooppppss.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/30/2010 7:07:50 PM   
LordShadow


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline 		a past slave and I when to a play session in another town...I packed all the toys in a backpack on the sissybar of my bike, crop, cuffs, flogger, double headed dildo of good proportion...the standard toy kit...I had to lay the bike down on the way Home...toys from hell to breakfast...


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Ride Hard Live Free
Shadow

True beauty is not seen with the eyes but rather felt in the heart...

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/30/2010 8:50:17 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		YESTERDAY MORNING: my boyfriend's mom decided to come over unannouced to his studio(one big room) apartment( she took the liberty of making herself a key :/ ) and found her darling All-American perfect son with a ball gag in his mouth attacted to the bed via under the bed restraint system with me vibrating him to orgasm while dressed in my dominatrix garb, complete with my 8 inch stilletoes. luck would have it that he came right in my face as soon as she came in. she walked right out and left the door wide open( a few of his floormates got the peek of their lifetimes ). she called him later to fuss at him for being into "that crazy white people shit" and he got it from me(she met my dad who looks completely caucasian). At least i know how she really feels about me *sigh*

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I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

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RE: Has Anyone...Seen Too Much?? - 6/30/2010 8:58:30 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		I have an airport one too. On a trip to visit my Dom, I had packed lube and three different kinds of vibrators in a small bag in my carry on, stupidly forgetting that you have to put all liquid in the one quart-sized plastic bag. The security guard who pulled me aside saw what was in my bag, looked directly at me, and then proceeded to pull out each individual vibrator one at a time, placing them side by side on the table just as slowly and deliberately as he possibly could. Finally, he got the lube out and held it up, smirking silently as if to say, "well, aren't you an idiot."

Mortified by the whole turn of events, I turned about twelve shades of red and stammered an "I'm...sorry. You can...throw it away." He did, but not before smiling at me waaay inappropriately for a security guard. I jammed the toys back into my bag and stumbled out of there. Needless to say, my Dom was pleased and amused as hell.

(in reply to LordShadow)
Profile   Post #: 40
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