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Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:23:40 AM

MissAsylum

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so i am currently watching a new show on VH1 called "You're Cut Off". Frankly, i am BEYOND concerned. As far as history goes, a person with money was seen as having class due to the fact that they could afford lessons on how to be proper ladies and gentlemen, while those who weren't well-to-do were seen as low-class and uncivilised. On this show, i have to say most of the women, who have been cut off finacially from their families, are ranking up there with the Paris Hiltons, Nicole Ritchies,...etc, in terms of spoiled, ungreatful, entitled people who call themeselves classy due to them having a few mercedes and bmw's in the driveway. however, at 20, i have a mercedes that i paid for myself, and i know many people who work hard and have very comfortable lifestyles, and those who may not have tons of money, but are a FAR AND WIDE cry classier and more mature than some people who were given everything in life. Do you think there is a correlation between being handed everything and having class in today's world?

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:28:11 AM

littlewonder

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Class imo has zero to do with money and everything to do with maturity and attitude.

I have no money but I like to think I have class.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:30:50 AM

Level

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It can make it harder to show class, if you're given the world on a silver platter; not knowing humility, or having to struggle, or fear loss in a number of ways, can be obstacles. But of course, there are those that do not let that get in the way of being decent, just as there are poor people who wouldn't know class if it was sitting in front of them, taking a dump in their soup.

Not-too-worried-about-class Level

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:32:18 AM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Class imo has zero to do with money and everything to do with maturity and attitude.

I have no money but I like to think I have class.

Agree 100%. And to add how you were brought up, manners, how you think of yourself, how you project yourself to others.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:35:56 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Money is not related to classy behaviour. Too many rich folks these days are just entitlement whores. Of course, maybe they always were, and we didn't know it because there was no cable TV or internet!!

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:39:34 AM

lusciouslips19

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Money does not equate to class. There are people with money who have class. There are those with it that flaunt it and demean others. Thats not class. The definition of class to me is you wear your labels on the inside of your clothes and dont brag about it.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:47:21 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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This thread reminded me of this song that LuAnn from NY Housewives did as a single.

Money Can't Buy You Class
By: Countess LuAnn

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned, oh yeah

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned

How many men there are
That forget to hold the door
When I give them so much more than they can imagine
Money rich and manners poor
Never got the boys too far
Money talks but I just walk when I can't stand it

And the primary mistake
Texting on a date
If you make a lady wait she'll take a pass

The lesson all should learn
Even if there's cash to burn
Respect yourself cause no one else can change your path

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned, oh yeah

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned

Now ladies, don't forget
To allow the men you've met
To exemplify their very best behavior

When entering a room
Greet everyone and soon
You'll be invited and entitled to the grandeur

Your company should feel
When a conversation's real
Even if the topic feels like science class

You can tell where someone's been
Without even asking him
He's either rude or has some style and panache

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned, oh yeah

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned, oh yeah

Life is all about elegance and flair
And savoir faire.

You don't have to be rich or famous to be unforgettable

It's not about where you're from
It's about what you've learned

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned

Money can't buy you class
Money can't buy you class
Elegance is learned, my friends
Elegance is learned

Money can't buy you class

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:51:56 AM

MissAsylum

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~FR~ one thing i have also wondered is where the sense of entitlement comes from if their lifestyle wasn't something that they earned?

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 11:57:05 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Not every rich person out there gives a shit about etiquette lessons and paying for lessons on how to be a proper lady. Or being a "proper lady"

Show's like cut off, thrive on putting the drama queens and the spoilt little shit heads on tv. Who'd want to watch a show about classy rich ladies who behave well and are not little shits. There's no ratings in shows like that, that are not trashy.

I think if you're brought up right, even with everything being handed to you on a golden platter by a manservant, you can be classy and not snooty or a spoilt little snot. But I don't know any rich people, nor am I rich or had everything handed me to on a golden platter by a manservant, so I can only guess.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

so i am currently watching a new show on VH1 called "You're Cut Off". Frankly, i am BEYOND concerned. As far as history goes, a person with money was seen as having class due to the fact that they could afford lessons on how to be proper ladies and gentlemen, while those who weren't well-to-do were seen as low-class and uncivilised. On this show, i have to say most of the women, who have been cut off finacially from their families, are ranking up there with the Paris Hiltons, Nicole Ritchies,...etc, in terms of spoiled, ungreatful, entitled people who call themeselves classy due to them having a few mercedes and bmw's in the driveway. however, at 20, i have a mercedes that i paid for myself, and i know many people who work hard and have very comfortable lifestyles, and those who may not have tons of money, but are a FAR AND WIDE cry classier and more mature than some people who were given everything in life. Do you think there is a correlation between being handed everything and having class in today's world?

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 12:05:44 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

~FR~ one thing i have also wondered is where the sense of entitlement comes from if their lifestyle wasn't something that they earned?

Mom and dad

They were handed everything and feel that because they have money and everyone from their parents to their friends to those who help run their lives for them give them anything they want.

It's also a younger generation thing.

I have a millenial who thinks she's entitled to the world and everyone will just give her what she wants. She's in for a huge surprise very very soon.

The millenials have been brought up in a safe easy environment with very few struggles. They can order whatever they want from their computers and never leave their beds. They can even do school right from their home on their computer. They're a technology based generation wehre everything can be done at the push of a button so of course they feel entitled.

They have not lived through hard times and so they have no idea what it's like. They've yet to have to struggle.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 12:11:55 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

~FR~ one thing i have also wondered is where the sense of entitlement comes from if their lifestyle wasn't something that they earned?

My daughter struggles with this on a daily basis at her school. The majority of the students are well off finacially and feel entitled. She gets so frustrated because these same people that have never had to worry about money, food or clothes are some of the meaniest and most vile people she has ever meet. I have tried to explain to her that she has so many things they will always be lacking, she has respect for earning money (she got her 1st job at 15) , she knows what it means to work hard. She understands that THINGS aren't what make you a good person.

ETA: EQD2 loves to spoile me with random presents. These can be things like heels he thinks would look good on me or a day trip. But he would never allow me to be act like a spoiled ungreatful brat.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 6/13/2010 12:19:45 PM >

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 12:15:08 PM

BKSir

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Most certainly they can be. I require it from my pets actually. They have to be classy, well mannered and well versed in etiquette, whilst at the same time I spoil the hell out of them. And I'd not want it any other way. I think that too often we confused 'spoiled' for 'spoiled brat', which I would never have.

As far as being considered 'classy' because one has money, I've found that is actually just the opposite. Being originally from southern roots, to me 'classy' means to carry ones self well and have good manners and etiquette. Often the less money a family has the more those traits apply. I know when I forgot to use my manners correctly, missing a "ma'am" or "sir" somewhere with my elders, my aunt would smack me a good one. We may not have been rich, but we were respectful and proper nevertheless.

Granted, times have changed, and I know it's not as generally true now, even in the southlands, which is a shame. Sometimes there's something to be said for a lovely older southern lady reminding you that "Boy, you remember to mind your manners, or Imma slap you upside the head so hard your butt falls off.". And be damned if she wouldn't. LOL

< Message edited by BKSir -- 6/13/2010 12:21:40 PM >

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 12:25:34 PM

MissAsylum

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well i really enjoy online shopping lol. but i believe i'm entitled to the lifestyle that i've earned. if i did nothing, then i'm entitled to nothing. but i know a few people who think because mum and father kissed their ass, me and the rest of that planet should do the same, just as other people have mentioned. as much tv they watch and internet they use, they should know at least a little bit of the world's situation and that things dont work like that. probably wishful thinking on my part. EDITING FOR MY ICKY SPELLING. lol

< Message edited by MissAsylum -- 6/13/2010 12:37:46 PM >

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 2:19:08 PM

lobodomslavery

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i think people who are very well off are just damn lucky. Damn lucky that they have a job when others dont. Damn lucky that life has nt given them kicks in the teeth where it hurts in their bank account. And damn lucky that they can push their responsibility for their actions on to others who take the rap for their incompetence. As for wealthy being classy? No in no way. Wealth to me denotes a shallow person
kevin

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 2:24:27 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Class imo has zero to do with money and everything to do with maturity and attitude.

I have no money but I like to think I have class.

Agree 100%. And to add how you were brought up, manners, how you think of yourself, how you project yourself to others.

I'm going to disagree with you kallisto. MANY people were brought up in devastating circumstances and have gone beyond to become people of great class.

I think it's more about accepting others and being gracious.

Classy *and* spoiled. Maybe. But I think that the spoiling is maybe about not having faith. It is when we have faith in the future, ourselves, the universe that graciousness can sink in.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 3:47:25 PM

CarrieO

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Can a person be classy and spoiled...sure.

If you're using "classy" as an adjective then all it really means is stylish and fashionable. If you're using class as it relates to socioeconomic status, the "to the manor house born" crowd vs the lower income-to-middle income folks who do the 9-5 (and many times more) blue collar jobs that have been the backbone of this country...I'd have to say it depends.

I've met some very grounded, mature and unaffected filthy rich men and women who understand what it means to have an attitude of gratitude and because of that want to help a person learn to be the best individual they can be in the long run instead of offering a quick fix (the old "give a man a fish he eats today, teach a man to fish and he eats again" principle).

On the flip side, I know more than a few folks who were born with little and because of their early influences and the attitude that they created from those experiences now believe the world owes them a continual break.

Contraywise...the opposite can be true of both examples. The key, imo, is how each person chooses to rise to the challenge of their status and opportunities.

I know quite a few young people, in the 15-23 age range, who assume because mom and dad are wealthy that they will be also and things will be given to them just because they expect them to be and not because of any actual work. I lay the blame on the parents (who's responsibility it is to not only explain gratitude but offer examples) and the Hollywood/reality TV effect the OP mentioned.

Personal example....
When I came to the east coast many...many...years ago, one of the first women I met was a New York socialite whose husband was one of those filthy rich (old money not nouveau riche) people I mentioned. She would shake her head at how easy it was to spot one of the new money crowd because of the way most of them would flaunt their money, new social status and "class". She would always tell me "Humility, grace and gratitude are what counts, dear. Peacocks flaunt their plumage but they're still just common peafowl...emphasis on common"
She didn't fault them for their new wealth but for the way they handled it and themselves.

Attitude is everything.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 6/13/2010 3:49:26 PM >

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 4:40:24 PM

MissAsylum

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yes, that was what i was getting at. i hardly thing that money equals style- for the show i had mentioned before, if i couldn't recognise what brands the clothes were, i would swear the girls were wearing cheap clothes. they carried themselves in a cheap manner, so then everything about them looked cheap, and not even in a monetary sense. and as you mentioned an addition "i'm owed" sense, i dont frequently run into the less financially blessed type that feels like i should feel bad that i am in a "better place" money-wise than they are and that i somehow am responsible for their position... but it has happened. *shakes head*

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/13/2010 5:43:42 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

And to add how you were brought up, manners, how you think of yourself, how you project yourself to others.

I'm going to disagree with you kallisto. MANY people were brought up in devastating circumstances and have gone beyond to become people of great class.

I think it's more about accepting others and being gracious.

best,
sunshine

sunshine, I agree with you. I think that is what I was talking about when I said how they were brought up. Maybe I didn't phrase it correctly. Circumstances (money, no money, big house, small house, second hand clothes, designer clothes, piano lessons or "street ball") doesn't make a person have class or no class or be a spoiled brat.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/14/2010 5:24:01 AM

DesFIP

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Boasting about what car you drive is classless.

But money has nothing to do with it. I know a family of six who are superwealthy. Some are great people, others I wouldn't piss on to put out a fire. Some are classy, others aren't. Same parents, same wealth, same background.

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RE: Can a person be classy AND spoiled? - 6/14/2010 5:51:44 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

i hardly thing that money equals style- for the show i had mentioned before, if i couldn't recognise what brands the clothes were, i would swear the girls were wearing cheap clothes.

Knock-offs are everywhere. Just step out of Grand Central into the bustle of a NYC summer day and you'll hear the ever popular "Five dollars...Five dollars" chant of the copycat merchants.
I have a beautiful gray pashmina scarf I bought 2 years ago on the street that looks just as nice as the $300 one my employer wears. Style can be found at the thrift store just as it can be found at Sax...but so can neon orange tube tops and low rider acid washed jeans

Having taste is classy.....wearing designer labels because you think it makes you classy isn't...in my opinion

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