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I have a question - 6/7/2010 2:30:06 PM

jpatt74

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/17/2010
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I am currently looking for the right master/mistress, and during my search I was looking for ways to kep myself in check. Does anybody here have any ideas to self disapline? Any ideas help. Thanks

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 2:35:27 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

This question is so vague, I don't think you'll get much help. For example, what do you mean by "keep yourself in check." Are you talking about chastity, self-disciplined enough to make sure your home is well-kept, or keeping yourself in a submissive frame of mind? There are too many possibilities and no one here is going to try to read your mind.

Start with elaborating on your question to get better answers. While you're at it, make friends with the Search feature in the upper right corner of the forums screen.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to jpatt74)

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 2:35:59 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I have always believed that Martial Arts teaches both self defence (and offence) but more importantly it teaches discipline and self-discipline in the physical, mental and spiritual areas.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to jpatt74)

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 2:41:23 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

http://www.stockroom.com/CB3000-Complete-Package---P4241.aspx

Nuff said.

MS

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to IronBear)

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 3:37:09 PM

MissBeautiful2U

Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
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*smile* good for you for knowing what it is that you crave.

*you* are a bit vague in terms of what you mean by "in check" but if it is chastity, you could purchase one of the devices and that will help make you think harder before engaging in play.

If you are referring to goals, behavior, etc, start by making a list of the things you feel need to be done each day, week, month. Put check marks next to the things you get done. When you are making the list, organize them by priority... A's must be done, D's would be nice. Real discipline should be appropriate to the offense in my opinion (not everyone's and that's ok too) but if say you were supposed to clean your tub, an appropriate consequence might be having to forego your free-time pleasures and clean the whole bathroom.

A way to keep yourself in check so to speak would be to start a journal including pictures of the before, after, the lists. Write a little about how you feel by this. Save it. Someday when you find your Mistress, share it with her to show her that you are indeed trying. (if you just meant chastity, you could get the plastic locks with numbers on them and take a picture with the date on it.) It is an honor system surely because you could alter camera dates etc but then you'd only be cheating yourself. Remind yourself that your service while self-imposed is really dedicated to the Lady who you will someday belong to.

Think that might help? There are many who participate in self-spanking, flogging, etc. Best I can tell you with that is commit to a certain number and take the time in between each swat and make yourself swing hard, then experience the sensation... before repeating. Hard to do when it is yourself... experience is different when you can't control it or stop it (w/o using a safeword... and it will be tempting to stop at an earlier point than what you might be able to take if someone else were doing this).

Good luck.

Miss Robin

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 3:48:38 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Yoga. Meditation. Keep a schedule. And I'm with Iron Bear - martial arts.

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 4:20:03 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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Behave as though you already have a partner while still remaining true to yourself and you'll be more likely to find a partner who is compatible since what they see is what they get with you and they actually like who you are.

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 4:28:31 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jpatt74

I am currently looking for the right master/mistress, and during my search I was looking for ways to kep myself in check. Does anybody here have any ideas to self disapline? Any ideas help. Thanks

I thought the whole idea of needing someone for that was because you couldn't do that for yourself.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 7:09:09 PM

ourmsbetty

Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jpatt74

I am currently looking for the right master/mistress, and during my search I was looking for ways to kep myself in check. Does anybody here have any ideas to self disapline? Any ideas help. Thanks

Try the Submissive Activity Book by Shannon Reilly

(in reply to jpatt74)

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RE: I have a question - 6/7/2010 7:28:18 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Classes in cooking, gardening, auto repair. Work out at the gym. Sign up for flylady.com and get your place in order. All the things that make you a competent adult who can take care of his own stuff, and his lady's.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: I have a question - 6/8/2010 11:31:57 AM

LadySilver0523

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/7/2006
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You know what I recommend huh? Here, I'll give you a few pointers that helped me along the way;

1.) Talk to as MANY peoople as you possibly can that make you feel welcome, safe, and that are willing to teach you about things that you are curious about and awnser your questions.

2.) Do your homework!! You have NO clue how many hours I've spent just listening to others talk or reading posts in forums or in chat rooms ect. Or even online on google, bing, wickipedia ect, just looking up terminologies for things. I've even just put in google serches for "Ass play" and got web sites for the DO's and Don'ts of that sort of play as well as things about medical play ect. And they're generally written by health care pofessionals of some sort that are kinky themselves and want to inform others on how to be safe, sane, and consentual in their activities and play time.

3.) Never ever ever be affraid to ask questions even if YOU think they're stupid. If someone else laughs at you, either; a.) they're new too and just don't want to admitt it, b.) they don't know and don't have the awnser, c.) they're bullies or ass holes/bitches and don't want to help, or d.) ALL OF THE ABOVE. lol

4.) Never ever ever be afriad to BE YOURSELF! That is probably the first thing I should have put down. Why? Because no matter what role you take on in this lifestyle, most genuine Dominates/Dommes want people that are earnest, genuine, truthful, and willing to serve or vise versa. And I've learned that most Doms/Dommes that are looking, want that good sub boy/girl or slave that is moldable and willing to be molded to fit their needs. *smiles* So, BE YOURSELF. :)

5.) NEVER think that you've learned everything that there is to learn! *laughs* You'll never stop learning. Either about yourself, the lifestyle, or the person(s) you're with. ;) So, you'd better learn to embrace change and go with the flow or you very well could be left behind. :)

Those are my words and gems of wisdom for you. Good luck and be blessed and well protected always,

My love and light goes with you,

Silver

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Um... What's going on??... Am I ALWAYS the last to know??

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

The means justifes the ends ... Not the other way around

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RE: I have a question - 6/8/2010 12:31:47 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jpatt74

I am currently looking for the right master/mistress, and during my search I was looking for ways to kep myself in check. Does anybody here have any ideas to self disapline? Any ideas help. Thanks

Define what keeping in check means to you.
Address any mental or emotional barriers that prohibit intimacy and communication.
Learn the differences between wants and needs.
Be able to articulate your desires in depth and with brevity when requested.
Examine your ideas on authority and your willingness to acquiesce. Are you able to do this in sexual matters but have trouble with the mundane? Square it away since you won't be the boss of you.
Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Pinpoint how each can be an asset or impediment to your submission. Then get to work on remedying that.
Know what you want and why it appeals. If something isn't appropriate ask yourself why and have a real answer behind it.
Utilize your time wisely. No one is going to drop a dominant from the heavens above. While you wait make sure you're actively doing so. You'll have more to offer when you meet the right person.
Be patient. Good things take time to materialize.

~porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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