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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 1:27:04 AM

pahunkboy

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You may indeed be better off giving those toys away directly./snip

Maybe freecycle. Everything I ever did on there- I have some inkling of the other parties intent.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 1:33:27 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
lol omg.. I don't even want to remember the day I vacuumed his carpet after he left. Who knew I should have gotten a paper mask?

I am glad to make you smile.

I know it was a mixed thing cleaning moms attic. She moved from a house to a 1 bedroom condo out of state a few years ago. My brother told me I would clean the attic or he would never do anything for me ever again.

While cleaning- I thought- isn't it nice to go down memory lane now- while I can ask mom- what was this and what was that?

I found forgotten junk from all of us kids. And much of it all was on me as to what to toss- what to save and what to ask what to do with.

The personal letters were of huge interest to me. This made a 3 day task into one that took about 8 days- as I stopped to read and dissect what everything was and WHY or WHY. lol.

I am not mad with my brother over his demand. Besides- I have all his old letters now.

ooops.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 1:57:47 AM

reynardfox

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Childhood passes faster than the day dream of a butterfly. My oldest moved out a few years ago and it cut me to pieces. I wasn't there to scare his bad dreams away any more, to see him over the road and to make sure he ate properly.
He got his own place and I had to hide in the kitchen so he didn't see me cry.
I felt like I was having my insides pulled out.
I kept his room as he left it for a few years, then took the lot to a charity shop, I wanted someone else to feel good about the things I had often had to save up and scheme to get him. The movie cut outs from the video shops, the star wars toys, the transformers, the action figures, they were all there and each one stung me like a wasp as I put them in bags.
The happiness he had experienced was as precious to me as it was to him and I found myself yearning for a fitter, younger, more carefree version of me. I was only twenty one when he was born and in a sense we grew up together.
I was left feeling like the bear at the end of winnie the pooh, waiting for the day the boy came back. But only the man visits.
My other kids are just as important to me, and that keeps me happy, but one day I will have two more partings, and then I have no idea what I am going to do to.
I understand what you mean by selling your memories, I could only give mine away, in the hope that someone somewhere who otherwise could not afford them, gets some of the joy they brought to my children.
Soft bastard.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 2:18:18 AM

ChainedExistence

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Let's not forget, that ultimately your memories of your son's childhood do not center around hundreds of "things" that take up space and contribute to household clutter. Although you feel that the ebay route is putting a price on his past, maybe auctioning a few toys in original boxes could be that bit of extra cash he could use as an adult.These days young people are struggling with college expenses, or bills due to low-paying entry level jobs. A little cash you can send his way might be very much needed and appreciated.If you are worried about relatives keeping the money from the ebay sales, learn how to sell it on there yourself...it's not that hard, and again..send the profits to your son.
He's already taken most of the items he was interested in keeping, so use that as your gauge of how little of it has huge sentimental value for him. Most of the sentiment is yours , (and as a mother, I totally get that!). Keep a few special toys for your future as a "grandma", auction off items that would have good resale value, and donate the rest. Believe me, he does not expect you to turn his room into a shrine. And here are a couple of suggestions.. Why not photograph some items before passing them on, or better yet, see if you already have a photo of your son playing with that toy, or wearing that shirt, or costume. A picture is just as sentimental...and it takes up a whole lot less space. Example...I had a old red stuffed dog my daddy won for me at a carnival. It was musty , most of the stuffing was gone, and frankly sort of gross, but I remember that day like yesterday. So, my mom propped it up on my bed where it used to lay, put a little sign by it that said "My daddy won this for me at the carnival" and took a picture of it. This way I have the memory, minus the item that had definitely seen better days. Or another suggestion if you're somewhat crafty and you find letting go of the clothes especially hard, you can make quilt squares out of some of the clothing items that have special memories. One quilt is a lot easier to store than hundreds of outdated items collecting dust in the closet.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 2:42:40 AM

pahunkboy

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Keep a few special toys for your future as a "grandma",/snip

Yeah Granny!! ;-) STOMP!

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 4:14:29 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

I was left feeling like the bear at the end of winnie the pooh, waiting for the day the boy came back. But only the man visits.

<<<needs a hankie

damn....

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 4:43:29 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I was left feeling like the bear at the end of winnie the pooh, waiting for the day the boy came back. But only the man visits.
<<<needs a hankie

damn....

yeah now the kid will go on the break some poor womans heart in the dating world.

Docha just love how men are?

Dress em up =but cant take them any more.

(ask Jefff) HA!

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 4:48:11 AM

sirsholly

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<<<still sniffling...

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 4:56:13 AM

pahunkboy

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I missed out. I never had kids.

I have cleaned things out- a number of times.

< Message edited by pahunkboy -- 6/1/2010 5:30:16 AM >

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 8:45:39 AM

Missokyst

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Eek. Keeping things and storing them for eternity is something my family would do. My mom has a closet full of clothing (the walk-in sort), drawers overspilling, and she continues to buy something every weekend along side my sister who is equally bad at this. Until 5 yrs ago our garage looked like a maze with stuff piled up ceiling high.. a variety of items no longer used, long forgotten and kept because, "we might need them or want them someday.. or the even worse, someone might want them" When the house became mine I was allowed to get rid of what I could.. and boy did I ever! Guess what? So far no one has missed them.

Memories for me are in PEOPLE, not stuff. Yes there are things I might have wanted from my childhood. An aluminum bank with the 3 bears comes to mind, but I still remember it. I can see their faces in my head. I recall that putting the coin in the bank would activate the motion.. Papa bear with his fishing pole and the magnet would pick up a small fish. His body would swing over to Momma bear who was waiting with a frying pan in hand and that magnet would collect the fish. Then she would swing her body over to the fire where the fish would cook. Meanwhile baby bear sad on his log, clapping away. I loved that bank. And I often think of looking for it on ebay in the antique section. But,
I don't have to. I remember it! The memories did not die simply because that item was given to my cousin, never to be seen by me again.

No. Let him work hard and buy his own children the things they need or desire. Grandma's (when and if I ever become one), will do the same. Joy is joy, regardless of whether it is new or antique.

I do not aim to be a guest on Hoarders.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty

But why not keep and store them? Your son may someday have his own children, and you can then watch them take the same joy in the toys.

It's always hard letting go, but it is not the items you cherish, it is the memories they contain. Those don't go away when the items are gone.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 6/1/2010 8:46:56 AM >

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 8:49:23 AM

Missokyst

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My mom is in early alzheimers and gets quite intolerable if she thinks people should be doing it her way and its not happening. Mostly I wait for her to forget then just do what needs to be done.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I have to wonder why you would let your mother dictate your decision on this matter.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 8:57:24 AM

pahunkboy

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3 years isn't hoarding?    // I understand.   Mom waited too to toss it all out.

I give my sister and brothers both the same advice.

That I do not recommend having any more then 12 kids.    So far- they have taken my advice.

Tho with the one bro- it is anyones guess how many and where they might be.   YAAAAAAAA!

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 8:59:18 AM

Missokyst

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lol.. no 3 yrs was hoping. I kept thinking he would hate it in Oregon and come back to California. 3 yrs seems to be my cut off for hope.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 9:04:46 AM

pahunkboy

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Wow. He must have wanted out of CA bad.

My family has always been split between 2 states-/ 12 hours. It sucks.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 9:21:32 AM

Missokyst

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He knew he needed to leave the area because it is too easy for him here. I understand that, I did it myself when I was his age. I had everything as a kid, anything I wanted was mine. Facing life like normal people was a shock.. and FUN as heck! I often told him about my journey into the world, I guess it caught on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Wow. He must have wanted out of CA bad.

My family has always been split between 2 states-/ 12 hours. It sucks.

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RE: Purging out old items - 6/1/2010 9:44:15 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

He knew he needed to leave the area because it is too easy for him here. I understand that, I did it myself when I was his age. I had everything as a kid, anything I wanted was mine. Facing life like normal people was a shock.. and FUN as heck! I often told him about my journey into the world, I guess it caught on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Wow. He must have wanted out of CA bad.

My family has always been split between 2 states-/ 12 hours. It sucks.

I did the reverse. I moved to where I have it easier.

We all been back and forth between Chicago and PA. I am tho glad I left Chicago. They all now in my immediate family are out there. I have oodles of cousins and so forth in PA. But really keep to myself.

I been wanting to visit Chicago- but my bro is not talking to my sister and other brother. So- oh what fun that would be- aside from I am often broke. lol.

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