Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (Full Version)

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hejira92 -> Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:05:08 PM)

I thought about this in an email to Sir the other night and thought to bring this up for all you literature-minded people.

From my experience, in fiction and film (and TV), the heroine often has to choose between the good man (steady, reliable, asexual) and the tall dark, handsome stranger (mysterious, drifter, not a good provider, sexy). I saw a clip from the old Kate Hepburn movie "The Rainmaker" recently. And I think "The Bridges of Madison County" covered this dichotomy.

This made me think about the archetypes of the villain and hero. The villain, in literature, often represents the dark forces, including sexuality, that tempt young girls from the righteous path. And then the hero has to come rescue her- back to her safe, boring existence. Happy ending.

Many thoughts on this. Are these stories another way to repress women's sexuality? Are they hidden morality tales?

Anyway, how it relates to BDSM. I thought about the caring Master (as in mine), and how He is actually both hero and villain to me. WIITWD incorporates the darkest fantasies of the Damsel in Distress, yet, in daily life, He's the hero- He takes care of me emotionally, is completely steady and steadfast and would defend me to the death.

So, in BDSM, do we (and I know I speak from the sub female viewpoint here) get to live both fantasies? And I'm not talking about role-playing, I'm talking about exploring the deep recesses of taboo sexual fantasy with the person who will come change your flat tire. It's the best of both archetypes.

So, what is your take on these stereotypes? DOes BDSM turn them on their head? Or feed into them?




Missokyst -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:10:22 PM)

My hero's are just that, hero's. The fact that they stir my senses, draw me into sensuality and spark desire was something I never saw as villanous.




SocratesNot -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:13:50 PM)

I think that real life BDSM relationships turn such stereotypes on their head, while BDSM porn and fantasy reinforces them.




SocratesNot -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:14:59 PM)

I also think these stereotypes have some untrue elements - for example, why would hero be asexual? It doesn't make sense.




VAcontroldom -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:23:26 PM)

I try to be both and also a third

Supportive good guy (hero) to turn to in times of crisis--Firm and consistent (somewhat parental but without daddy overtones in my case)--villain who "makes" you deal with hard issues and also pushes limits

I think the D/s community feeds into them and even the terminology suits it, like White Knight Doms or "pure" sadists




laurell3 -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 9:23:47 PM)

I do agree with you that my ideal Dom has the personal characteristics of the hero, honesty, intelligence, integrity etc. and some aspects of the villain, ie: sadism. I don't know about living out a fantasy, possibly sexually, but I believe that my relationships are very much like any other in life with their ups and downs, benefits and disadvantges.

Unfortunately, it is my belief some people romanticize d/s relationships and expect a true white knight, which is sad and in my opinion unworkable. In the end though, I think d/s relationships are like all relationships and work or fail on concepts of communication, honesty, commitment and respect.





LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/30/2010 11:15:27 PM)

Actually a lot of great doms get rejected because they aren't willing to be the fantasy of insta-hero and insta-villain in alignment with what the sub is fantasizing about at that particular moment. You end up with a heck of a lot of captain save-a-hos and predators trying to cash in on the stereotyping and fantasy mongering.

I think we're often our own villains and not often enough our own heros- not that there's anything wrong with being a hero for/with someone else, just that if we aren't our own, it won't matter how many others try to save us.




lally2 -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 2:12:24 AM)

you know in the same way that we subs are (in no particular order) that whore, slut, housekeeper, lover, bitch, friend that men have always wanted to find all rolled up into one accessible package with tits an arse and a throat eager to take it all down in one swollow - why cant we have our hero wrapped up in a villain - sounds fair enough to me [:)]




LadyAngelika -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 3:39:01 AM)

Firstly, I adore lally2's tit for tat attitude ;-)

Secondly, the FemDom version of what you've described would be an temptress that lures and ensnares men, a femme fatale, a vampiress, who will hold a man's mind, body and/or soul captive but never confirming nor denying her affection for him, keeping him in a state of anguish, usually making him lose his mind, not being able to make rational decisions. I guess in real life, that little game can be fun for a while, but I've learned that I'll get a much greater submission and devotion when I confirm affection, which doesn't deny me the ability to still make a man lose his mind on occasion ;-)

Thirdly, I always saw super heros as being in service to the people as well as to their muse. Superman was in service to Lois Lane. Everything he did, he sacrificed, was for her.

- LA




IronBear -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 4:23:55 AM)

The heroes of both sexes I know are simple good stead folk with a good knowledge of what it is they do and a willingness to teach a suitable enquirer as well an staying true to themselves and their path whilst not giving a flying fuck what others may thing or agree with. They are strong Dominant people. Conversely, the villains I know of both sexes  have more of the con man stereo-type, are unreliable except for their own pleasure, tend to me leaders in the back stabbing and witch hunt stakes for anyone who doesn't fit their ideal mould. Sadly the villains out number the heroes greatly.. Real life heroes, aye I am lucky to know a number. People who have risked their all to help and/or save lives in civilian disasters and in combat. ... As for me, I take as I find, give what I will, like or dislike, am liked or disliked, love or hated. The world still turns, life goes on and I continue to life my life as I deem fit. 




DesFIP -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 10:26:40 AM)

The stereotypes developed for a good reason, inability to prevent pregnancy. Up until about a hundred years ago condoms were not readily available, little knowledge of a woman's reproductive cycle existed, and early  birth control educators were arrested for immorality. Even in this century, many Catholic countries prohibited birth control of any kind - Ireland and many South American countries come first to mind.

A stranger, without any social standing to lose, who wouldn't care if he came in and got a woman pregnant before leaving her and the child to survive on their own without any kind of jobs available for her, or for the child when he/she became of age, was a villain. And the innocent victim was of course the child.

Turning such a stereotype on its head is only possible when you can avert pregnancy and when you can support yourself.




MarcEsadrian -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 2:40:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I thought about this in an email to Sir the other night and thought to bring this up for all you literature-minded people.

From my experience, in fiction and film (and TV), the heroine often has to choose between the good man (steady, reliable, asexual) and the tall dark, handsome stranger (mysterious, drifter, not a good provider, sexy). I saw a clip from the old Kate Hepburn movie "The Rainmaker" recently. And I think "The Bridges of Madison County" covered this dichotomy.

Anyway, how it relates to BDSM. I thought about the caring Master (as in mine), and how He is actually both hero and villain to me. WIITWD incorporates the darkest fantasies of the Damsel in Distress, yet, in daily life, He's the hero- He takes care of me emotionally, is completely steady and steadfast and would defend me to the death.

So, in BDSM, do we (and I know I speak from the sub female viewpoint here) get to live both fantasies? And I'm not talking about role-playing, I'm talking about exploring the deep recesses of taboo sexual fantasy with the person who will come change your flat tire. It's the best of both archetypes.


I like the subject you're touching upon in this thread, as I tend to agree that many aspiring slave types are looking for that perfect combination of light and dark, good and bad, roots in Hell and branches in Heaven paradigm. Unfortunately the test tubes shatter a lot, and would-be slaves inevitably realize they've found their own byronic hero upon the evisceration of erotic facade—that is to say, one who seems ideal but contains a tragic flaw (or flaws). All the more reason to underscore that all Masters and Mistresses are still mortal, and as such, inevitably flawed in some way.

Ordinarily, tragic flaws make a character more interesting and realistic, but in the real world some of these flaws can just be too toxic in one you're handing the management of your life over to. This all goes toward the good point that being dominant isn't just a matter of taking up the whip and playing the part; it's the art of balancing darkness and light, of exploring (and having, in the first place) plenty of depth without drowning in it, and being attuned to the subtle art of maintaining trust and loyalty when far off the beaten path.

As a somewhat unrelated aside, I often tend to find villains much more interesting and human. Traditional "heros of the light" so often fit a sterile mold, and so my favorite antagonists are often evil doers who experience a turning of sorts, showing the reader that the world isn't squarely divided into angels and demons.




reynardfox -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 6:43:20 PM)

In Eye of the Devil, David Niven, no less, as the father figure and hero of the story takes a whip to a young Sharon Tate, showing that heroes can be as Dom as the bad guy.  I have girls who like me to play the villain and I have girls who want me to be their Victorian Daddy, one young lady in particular has me play a role play game where I have allowed her to offer me the pleasures of her submission in return for forgetting her husband's debts. I don't spend too much time pondering where that comes from, I just love to do it.




MarcEsadrian -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 7:11:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox
[...] one young lady in particular has me play a role play game where I have allowed her to offer me the pleasures of her submission in return for forgetting her husband's debts. I don't spend too much time pondering where that comes from, I just love to do it.


This sounds like a code of Hammurabi sort of thing. I believe if one could not repay debts, they or a family member could be given to the creditor as a slave to repay it.




porcelaine -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 9:01:11 PM)

hejira92,

quote:

So, in BDSM, do we (and I know I speak from the sub female viewpoint here) get to live both fantasies? And I'm not talking about role-playing, I'm talking about exploring the deep recesses of taboo sexual fantasy with the person who will come change your flat tire. It's the best of both archetypes. So, what is your take on these stereotypes? DOes BDSM turn them on their head? Or feed into them?


From my perspective I honestly get a bit of both. Through BDSM I've been able to reconnect with a different part of myself that was a normal reality until I began to change. I enjoyed mythological stories and read more than my share of fairy tales, but the damsel and I were always at odds. Something always seemed off with that approach. Which is a little funny considering my upbringing. My mother was quite the surrendered wife and enjoyed everything the role brought. Puberty ushered in sweeping changes to my mentality. The sibling nuances came to a screeching halt. I would never be a damsel or villain but I'd definitely be in control.

I suppose it makes sense that mister white knight and I probably wouldn't get along. I was always drawn to his darker twin instead. That has never changed. However, I find my preference is truthfully someone that encompasses a little bit of both. I've found too much of either can be a very bad combo where I'm concerned. Embracing my submission was a very involved process. I essentially upset the apple cart and moved away from the earlier stance I'd embraced as a determined twelve-year old. But strangely enough the decision was one of the better ones I've made. I slowly discovered the beauty that the damsel possesses and how the knight could be okay in the right measures. But it took awhile I'll admit.

Through the villain I'm able to explore the recesses of my imagination and put into practice many things I probably wouldn't explore outside of a power exchange. Being okay with that part of me wasn't so difficult and I suppose I was wired for some measure of depravity at birth. But the damsel was much harder. I really didn't embrace that part until slavery came into play. I would discover that need was okay and it didn't make me weak or helpless. Having a man in my life that was reliable and could carry the weight and rescue me when I required it or when he desired to do so wasn't detrimental to my person.

My perceptions of each have dramatically changed. It isn't a fantasy but a reality I've come to know and appreciate. To be without either element would render the picture incomplete in my opinion.

~porcelaine




IronBear -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 9:44:18 PM)

can't help but wonder if a hero figure with blood and dirt matting his hair, both eyes blackened and eyebrows bleeding, split lip and spitting a tooth out of his mouth walked in with balls dragging on the ground and a hard on reaching to his nipples....  What sort of reaction by the readers would be in respect to the OP. 




sunshinemiss -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (5/31/2010 10:42:32 PM)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q39yedZZ0R0




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (6/1/2010 1:30:11 AM)

Ummmm.. I'm not certain how to answer this one. Because I can be a Hero, Good Guy and I can be a smart ass, I can be the lawn mower with somebody's ass being the grass, and I can be devilish fiend up to wicked no good fun. Really all depends upon the mood I'm in, the circumstances and with whom...

I tend to operate within a set range of personal limits, I can be an asshole but I have limits to how much of an asshole I can be. I can be a hero (white knight) type but there are limits to it, I can be a Mischeivious Devil but there are limits to how far I go with that. Unless you know me and I mean know me well, it can rather difficult figuring out or guessing what my limits are though. Wicked Grin.




SailingBum -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (6/1/2010 12:34:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

you know in the same way that we subs are (in no particular order) that whore, slut, housekeeper, lover, bitch, friend that men have always wanted to find all rolled up into one accessible package with tits an arse and a throat eager to take it all down in one swollow - why cant we have our hero wrapped up in a villain - sounds fair enough to me [:)]


Yep Yep lally bend over this is gonna hurt you a lot more than me...

BadOne




sunshinemiss -> RE: Hero and Villain: archetypes and BDSM (6/3/2010 2:03:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I thought about this in an email to Sir the other night and thought to bring this up for all you literature-minded people.

From my experience, in fiction and film (and TV), the heroine often has to choose between the good man (steady, reliable, asexual) and the tall dark, handsome stranger (mysterious, drifter, not a good provider, sexy). I saw a clip from the old Kate Hepburn movie "The Rainmaker" recently. And I think "The Bridges of Madison County" covered this dichotomy.

This made me think about the archetypes of the villain and hero. The villain, in literature, often represents the dark forces, including sexuality, that tempt young girls from the righteous path. And then the hero has to come rescue her- back to her safe, boring existence. Happy ending.

Many thoughts on this. Are these stories another way to repress women's sexuality? Are they hidden morality tales?

Anyway, how it relates to BDSM. I thought about the caring Master (as in mine), and how He is actually both hero and villain to me. WIITWD incorporates the darkest fantasies of the Damsel in Distress, yet, in daily life, He's the hero- He takes care of me emotionally, is completely steady and steadfast and would defend me to the death.

So, in BDSM, do we (and I know I speak from the sub female viewpoint here) get to live both fantasies? And I'm not talking about role-playing, I'm talking about exploring the deep recesses of taboo sexual fantasy with the person who will come change your flat tire. It's the best of both archetypes.

So, what is your take on these stereotypes? DOes BDSM turn them on their head? Or feed into them?




Dear Hejira,
I've resisted posting anything serious on here because I've wanted to give it the attention it deserved, and it's taken me a few days to get clear what I want to say. Hope you don't mind, and certainly hope it's worth the wait. [:)]

The thing about archetypes is that they exist for a purpose - to explain a reality, to make clear something broader than just one moment in life. They bring together similarities of people, lessons to be learned by all people, expressions of reality that are *human nature*. In so doing, we see archetypes of different stripes in everyone in varying degrees, at different times.

Does BDSM turn archetypes on their head? No, I think not. Feed them? No to that one also. At least not any more so than any other group of like minded people. There is a reason people are drawn together, a reason people of a certain personality choose to be with one another - comraderie and compatibility. BDSM type archetypes, as you described above, do nothing more than recognize a particular set of characteristics in people, just as in *any* group.

Fairy tales, one of the best mediums for expression of archetypes, burn through the complexities of people and personality to get to the essence of the lesson. The boy who cried wolf, for example. That young whipper snapper may have been just a silly, class clown type, not meaning to be harmful, just funny. He may have been an actual psychopath bent on seeing the harm that could be wrought. The two personalities are vastly different. The lesson, the essence of the lesson remains the same.

In life, of course, people are complex - generally speaking. And yet we are also very simple. We all want to be loved, we want to be accepted, we want to feel safe, we want to have pride in our accomplishments. How those very simple realities are made manifest are where complexity comes in. So, too, with archetypes and the melding of them into personality. There are only a certain number of archetypes. We each are endowed with a smattering of some and big chunks of others. But the lessons of the archetypes generally can be applied to us all *in certain moments of time and in certain situations.*

Most stories, like today's movies and television, have a certain complexity to the characters and their situations as in most stories beyond fairy tales. There is nothing simple about the decisions that are made in real life, those things sacrificed for something else. The very best stories go beyond archetype and become multi-layered expressions of the battling forces of people - within and between. (I'm resisting a discussion here comparing and contrasting Othello and Iago for I think it may be a wee bit more than you are asking. [;)] ) The reason these stories are the *best* stories is because they are more real, the characters, with all their flaws, seem more human, and we can see ourselves with them - because we are them or were at some point or will be due to situation, circumstance, and time.

At the end of the day, archetypes are mere vehicles created to teach and explain reality in its simplest form.

In the end you asked do we get to live both fantasies? No, but we ... that is all human beings... get to live within all manner of archetypes at different times in our lives, eventually embracing one or another through personality and experience (ahhh the nature / nurture debate). Perhaps there are opportunities in a community such as this one to sharpen the lines that so often blur, but no, I don't think that our experience of archetypes are that much different than the world at large. Perhaps there is more focus on *certain* archetypes because they are more prevalent and more ingrained but not more than that I think.

Best to you, my brilliant friend, and to all,
sunshine

*edited for grammar.




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