SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

reckless64 -> SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:23:27 AM)

Was debating posting this but If I don't ask will some one els.  Maybe maybe not
This will clear up a lot of issue that new or misinformed submissive males deal with.    

Well I need your help to try to find my self.   Figger out if im a  bottom ,sub, dom  switch maybe I am a Switch that is a bottom does this mean i can not enjoy being on top?  Can there is so much info out there I am lost or  finding it from the wrong spots.  In the bed room when I have intercourse and I am on top I like to hold her breath and put a blanket on her so she gets really really hot so that she is sweating when I have her legs up past her head and  while I choke her... but here is the kicker now I enjoy being on the bottom giving oral sex to the female in 69 Poisson even if i do not recive anyting....   I have had the opertunty with a past GF that when we did 69 i never got head she would put a toy in my butt and jack me off.  That was such an amazing feeling to me and it turns me on just to think about it... so what does that make me...  oh ya i almost forgot that I have the ergs to spank and cause pain too some times but never get the chance...  I do enjoy the look of pain on a woman face but then again  the very rare chance that i was about to recive any pain or light bondage I loved it...  so right now I have no clue what the fuck to call my self.... some times I wish I could be Gay (as i am not homophobic) But the ideal of a real penis in my ass or mouth turns me off so much.... well that and a guy on top of me or me on top of him just makes my feel ill  IM NOT TRYING TO GAY BASH JUST EXPAIN HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL as I have no problem with what others do sexual orientation or what ever flots there boat in the bed room.  ... but then again i feel a strong need to be tortured.
this is probably just a twisted fantasy and for any one to under stand it i will have to explain this.  I can not stand bodily fluids Some times i can get past it for kissing but not all the time yes even that little amount of saliva grosses me out.. it gets better like if my own cum touches my hand I freak out.  as it grouses me out After sex I have to take the condom off with a towel. and everybody that is still reading has all ready figured out is that I can not do blood at all..  and it all gets 40x worse after I orgasm.  Well for some reason I have this thought in my head that growses me out so much ever once in a while that I want to be forced  (and i do not mean like told to but physically forced to do so me trying to fight it but can not stop it) to Eat a girl out that either i have came in or some on els after i have orgasm-ed so that it makes everything worse for me to the point that I can not menily comprehend that is going on... that with blood too...

I use to think that a sub/dom was what went on in the bed room but with Bondage and Spanking and other stuff like that in the middel that would contue on for hours on end.   But I bleave that I am wrong about that....  I do like to submit the most but enjoy the outher stuff as well but felt like I enjoyed submiting more.

Now the out of the bedroom stuff

But I am a Libra and everthing has to make sence to me.  and if it does not I am the type to argue about it.  why becase it puts me in a protection mode where I do not want a choice to affect the welbeing of spouce or me, even a close frind.
Witch could make me seem a littel controling if i start to worrie about everthing that is happening with everbody els...


ok well all of the add I have seen talk about wanting a Sub/slave for live in that will do all of the cleaning and cooking and stuff like that... so if i want to be a Sub male does that mean I have no life of my own in my free time out side of work.
that all if my time is for me to wake up go to work come home clean the house laundry Masage Mistresses body party of choice and pleaser her?  then I go to sleep and wake up for work to do that again ever day that sounds like I would be get run down. and some how not be able to handle no time for myself and end up ending that relation ship.  That and if she required a chasity divice for me to wear I would go totaly crazy I think i have a overactive sex drive or something.  even if I do have intercorse I still feel the need to masterbate.  atlesit the next morning if late at night.   

I totaly bleave that I could be a true slave as in TOTALY FORCED and that I could do well becase if you are totaly forced then you have no choice.  

Ok i think that part was all about sex now the part that does not deal with sex.



sirsholly -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:30:39 AM)

You are 24 years old. My advice is to stop searching for a label and just explore who you are. Some of us will never fit any one term, and there is nothing wrong with that.



Level -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:38:53 AM)

The OP made my head hurt.



sirsholly -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:47:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

The OP made my head hurt.
<---rubs Levelly-Poos head.
Mmmmm....slick!!!!!!!



GraciousLady -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:55:07 AM)

What I see here: You say your 24, been here 1 day, can't type or spell or express yourself properly and are trying to figure out what course you want to take in life regarding lifestyle.

What I'm thinking: Maybe your not 24? Maybe your high? Maybe you need to pay attention to what your doing? Maybe you need to resume your education so you can spell and express yourself so you have a future? Worry about where you fit in this lifestyle later and get your other life issues straight.



DarkSteven -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:57:50 AM)

And quit choking your girl. That's potentially fatal if you're not well trained.



lally2 -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 4:37:31 AM)

i think maybe you need to seek out a switch type and go from there and like everyone else is saying, dont try to fit into some sort of pigeon hole or attach a label to youreself.  just go with what you like and find someone compatible to that.

that might take a while, so in the meantime explore both sides.

in the end youre exploring youre sexuality and that can take a lifetime as needs and tastes and curiosity leads you along different paths as they twist and turn.

sooo...., explore and have fun.  it is confusing, i agree, in youre case perhaps more so than many who have one specific orientation to go on.

in the end i would say you sound like you have switch tendencies and have no desire to be a service orientated slave to a Mistress - so fine, with that sorted out you can work on finding a switch sub/Mistress looking for BDSM.

its not that complicated really.  good luck



dragonseeker -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 12:13:36 PM)

i am a firm believer that in the BDSM community there is really no "one label fits all"...ex; Dom/Domme = Sadist, Top; and sub/slave = Masochist, Bottom.... But it truly is a mix and match to what ever fits your tastes... Only in the bedroom, outside the bedroom, 24/7, scene only, weekends only, switch, etc.... if you are just starting out then i would suggest to just have fun and explore and try not so hard to fit into a label or a category... if you are not just starting out, then i would still suggest the same thing [;)]



MercilessMarcy -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 1:08:25 PM)

This guy makes my head hurt! Control Freak? Messed up Head? OCD? Bi-Polar? ADD?! He sounds like the warnings that come with your new prescription....may cause flatulance, crossed eyes, atrial fibrillation, myocardial infarction, blindness, irritation....Ask your doctor for some today!

Really, "Lost", fella, take the advice from all of the above. RELAX, take a breath. Yes, sometimes Fantasies are so powerful because they are fantasy. Indulge in them, enjoy them. No need to be confused. Enjoy the journey. You only get to be a newbie once. Try everything you are comfortable doing. Really, that's it.

One size does not fit all.



angelikaJ -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 1:24:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

And quit choking your girl. That's potentially fatal if you're not well trained.


To the OP, DarkStephen raises a crucial point, except that I respectfully differ in my opinion:
It can be potentially fatal even if you have been well trained.
I have based that opinion on information given by Jay Wiseman, both in essay form and at a lunch I attended 2 years ago.

The essay is here: http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Medical_Realities.html

It is good that you are asking questions.



windchymes -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 1:47:11 PM)

That OP made my contacts dry out.  Ow.



ResidentSadist -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 2:23:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

And quit choking your girl. That's potentially fatal if you're not well trained.

Choke chickens not girlfriends.



Focus50 -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:09:34 PM)

All you respondants rock; I couldn't get through the second paragraph.... [sm=Groaner.gif]

[sm=givemebeer.gif]

Focus.



angelikaJ -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 3:19:58 PM)

I realise I probably posted a link that might be over the OP's head (and that is not meant as an insult to the OP).

When I get some time I will try to break it down a bit as well as address some of the other points.




reynardfox -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 5:02:53 PM)

Since you clearly spent all day writing this drivel, maybe tomorrow you could go out and do something worthwhile?



LadyPact -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/18/2010 5:19:51 PM)

Yeah, I'm with Level.  I'm not reading all of that.

From the bit that I skimmed, you like to top and you like to bottom.  (By the way, I tend to agree with another poster.  If you want to engage in breath play, please learn something about it.)  The fact that you enjoy doing kinky things to someone in the bedroom doesn't necessarily mean that you are a Dominant.  The fact that you enjoy kinky things being done to you doesn't necessarily make you a submissive.  What might help you to have a little less confusion is for you to become acquainted with the definitions of top, bottom, Dom, sub, and switch as they relate to BDSM. 

I get the fact that you are 24 so your desires have a lot to do with sex.  Believe it or not, sex isn't the end all be all of a power dynamic.  Not everyone engages in chastity, slavery, or anything else you've mentioned in your OP that has you concerned.  Please do yourself a favor.  Stop reading the fantasy crap that people type up on the internet.  Get some solid information from real people and read some non fiction about BDSM.  In other words, educate yourself.  It will help you to communicate more effectively.  It will also help you to know what appeals to you (other than fucking) and what doesn't.

In the meantime, slow down, and take a breath.



Hawkwindblues -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/19/2010 3:28:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

And quit choking your girl. That's potentially fatal if you're not well trained.

Choke chickens not girlfriends.


There are ChickenRightsGroups, you know?



xxblushesxx -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/19/2010 3:35:08 AM)

Every time I read a post like this I blame it on Domi. My life is much easier that way.

Try it!



reckless64 -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/19/2010 9:27:34 PM)

Sorry it so long I took a breath.  I would like to Thank all of you for all of the advice.



subinside -> RE: SO LOST NEED SOME ADVICE (5/19/2010 10:05:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MercilessMarcy

This guy makes my head hurt! Control Freak? Messed up Head? OCD? Bi-Polar? ADD?! He sounds like the warnings that come with your new prescription....may cause flatulance, crossed eyes, atrial fibrillation, myocardial infarction, blindness, irritation....Ask your doctor for some today!



Hey now.. don't be insulting to those of us with ADD... good god! I might think like that, sometimes, sorta kinda.. well, maybe.. but i sure as hell slow my brain down long enough to remember how to spell!!!!!!!!!

LOL



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125