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New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/11/2010 7:25:01 PM   
SexySea


Posts: 36
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline 		I changed the whole "blurb" thing that pops up with your profile and I would appreciate any helpful and constructive comments on it.  Be nice now.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/11/2010 8:08:33 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Looks pretty good to me. You might consider changing the phrasing of "real women like me" since it could be taken to mean that thin women are somehow fake and it's a bit defensive and abrasive. Beyond that, you might want to throw in any particular skills you have, like sewing or experience serving or whatnot.

Still, looks pretty good. Good luck with your search.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SexySea)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/11/2010 8:17:28 PM   
UnFlinchingEye


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/4/2010
Status: offline 		Everything but the opening and color choice is great in my (very) amateur opinion. I personally can not stand odd color and format choices, but that is obviously a very subjective thing.

"I ask that you please take the time to read my full profile (or at least this little blurb)before you send me an e-mail. You just might save yourself some time." People that would do it don't need to be told. People that would need to read it are probably too irritating to listen. Lots of ladies seem to put this in their profiles. I can't believe that it would actually save any of the headache from the premature email ejaculators out there.

"I am a curvy BBW so if you don't like real women built like me" I agree with the above poster. This seems a little overly hostile to the thinner ladies out there. Pride in your own attributes and disdain for other's attributes is a very thin line.

The rest reads really well.




_____________________________

"Abashed the devil stood, and felt how awful goodness is"

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/11/2010 9:05:51 PM   
Titanium0Master


Posts: 35
Joined: 4/27/2010
From: Pittsburgh, PA
Status: offline 		I liked your profile. It gives a good impression of what you're looking for and who you are.

As the previous posters have said, no matter what you put in your profile you are going to get trolls contacting you, but it can't hurt to leave in the request not to contact you unless they read your profile. After all, pixels are free!

I wouldn't worry about the part where you said "real women like me" being seen as abrasive, as men won't take it that way, but they might view it as you being defensive about who you are.

I am no artist, but the purple text on a black background does not provide enough contrast for my eyes, although that is a minor point.

< Message edited by Titanium0Master -- 5/11/2010 9:06:33 PM >

(in reply to UnFlinchingEye)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 12:11:48 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Looks good. I'm a fan of black text on white background, but otherwise kudos!

(in reply to Titanium0Master)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 1:54:33 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I liiiiked it 

Couple of things:

You said in the other thread that you weren't happy with the level of sadism in the men you encountered-is the phrase 'a streak of sadism' the best way of describing what you're looking for? I know it's a natural phrase but I reckon clarity is important here.

I'm with the others about the 'please read my profile' paragraph-those it's aimed at won't read it. Consider how your profile looks as viewed from the home page-right now all the text Mr Theoretical Potential Dom sees without making the decision to scroll down is that paragraph-kind of a negative image, no? I'd delete the first paragraph, shift the second further down the text, and put one of the more positive paragraphs first.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 3:03:29 AM   
pegbundy


Posts: 565
Joined: 4/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I'd delete the first paragraph, shift the second further down the text, and put one of the more positive paragraphs first.



I agree with VaguelyCurious here. That first paragraph should, ideally, draw the reader in and make them want to know more. Beyond that, it is a pleasant read and seems to effectively sum up who you are and what you want.

I hope your search will soon be successful.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 5:16:15 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySea

I changed the whole "blurb" thing that pops up with your profile and I would appreciate any helpful and constructive comments on it.  Be nice now.

Seems straightforward enough to me.... :) Of course, they tell me trolls don't like to read - let me know if you resolve that one (right after you cure all cancer....) lol

And as Maxwell Smart (Agent 86) might observe, that's the *2nd* longest activities list I've ever seen.... lol again

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to SexySea)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 11:26:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Eliminate the 'real women like me' and the 'real life'. We are all real and have real lives.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 11:29:19 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think it's excellent.

Personally, I'd suggest the following (although this is just my subjective preference)

I'd suggest you open with the para you precede with "Onto the good stuff", then follow with the remainder. The fact that you signpost it as "good stuff" suggests that you kinda know this is what you want people to read ;-)

Also, I would interpret your "real woman" statement as defensive, but that's just me.

I really like that your checklist is very complete - and I like that you've included non kinky things in addition to the naughtiness.

Good luck!

(in reply to SexySea)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 12:58:30 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I really like that your checklist is very complete
See, I left this out of my post because it's so subjective, but I'm the exact opposite-I see a checklist with hundreds of things on it and my eyes cross and I'm left with no overall impression of the person at all...


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/12/2010 3:35:07 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I really like that your checklist is very complete
See, I left this out of my post because it's so subjective, but I'm the exact opposite-I see a checklist with hundreds of things on it and my eyes cross and I'm left with no overall impression of the person at all...



Grin - ok, I'm a check-list nerd ;-)

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/13/2010 7:45:55 AM   
whipmaker7


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/30/2010
Status: offline 		Agreed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Eliminate the 'real women like me' and the 'real life'. We are all real and have real lives.


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/13/2010 7:58:35 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

I think the "real women like me" comment is showing a bit of insecurity in all honesty. Why put it there if you aren't bothered by men that prefer a thinner women? I am a real woman as well, I don't think it has anything to do with your size.

Your journal outing the name of the Dom that called CM sub's fat is kind of negative, I'd try to be a little more upbeat overall and trim that overly long like/dislike list.  You may also want a few more pictures, like of your home or surroundings, or even of you, besides a head shot so people can get a better feel for who you are. Good luck.


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to SexySea)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/13/2010 8:18:03 AM   
whipmaker7


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/30/2010
Status: offline 		Yeah... I'm getting a little tired of voluptuous to plus-sized women thinking they are 'real' for their physical characteristics. I don't hate overweight people, but I do dislike the trends they attempt to set in order to make themselves feel better like 'I'm real, as oppossed to that hot and shallow girl over there'.

Get on a treadmill. Get away from the computer. Eat right. Be more active. Not saying you need to be a super model, but you'll look and feel better about yourself and you won't need to dis other people to do it, too.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/13/2010 4:51:48 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whipmaker7

Yeah... I'm getting a little tired of voluptuous to plus-sized women thinking they are 'real' for their physical characteristics. I don't hate overweight people, but I do dislike the trends they attempt to set in order to make themselves feel better like 'I'm real, as oppossed to that hot and shallow girl over there'.

Get on a treadmill. Get away from the computer. Eat right. Be more active. Not saying you need to be a super model, but you'll look and feel better about yourself and you won't need to dis other people to do it, too.


Jesus I'll be slammed for  this but kinda yes....I mean I am far from skinny but I work hard to be my size and it doesn't make me not a "real woman" because I am a size 8. 


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to whipmaker7)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New Profile - What do you thiink? - 5/14/2010 9:56:57 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Overall, this is exactly the sort of profile that I like. I'd get rid of the "real women" line and the "trolling" comment. Just say you're a BBW and you are looking for single men.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SexySea)
Profile   Post #: 17
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