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Finding the right place and time - 5/10/2010 9:23:01 PM

oneserene

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To have important conversations with your partner with regards to limits, expectations, etc., can be extremely crucial to a relationship. For instance, some couples are extremely verbal during sex, ranging from whispers of sensual desires into your partners ear to the extreme opposite of demanding what it is that you want and then telling them exactly how you plan to take it (my favorite). The question that I would like to present is how serious would you consideranything "expressed" during the heat of the moment?. Enough to act upon something agreed to in the midst of a hot and heavy sexual encounter without further discussion?. Has anyone ever used "sex talk" as a way to extract a desired result/answer from your partner and feel comfortable that it is genuine?. I apologize in advance for any errors in this post however, my computer is on a "vacation" of sorts and I am using a cell to post.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/10/2010 10:13:32 PM

slavelynn95008

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Everyone says things they don't mean during sex. It is what it is. And always will be. I don't believe anything that doedsn't have a ring on the other end.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/10/2010 11:47:33 PM

reynardfox

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Most men talk with their dick, it might as well, it's usually doing the thinking.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 3:57:43 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Most men talk with their dick, it might as well, it's usually doing the thinking.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 4:09:52 AM

kanina

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I agree with the, not giving importance on what is said during sex... just like when people say no no no and they mean yes yes yes....

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 4:17:15 AM

petmonkey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Most men talk with their dick, it might as well, it's usually doing the thinking.

But does it have a ring on it?

Apologies OP, i couldn't help myself.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 2:11:35 PM

ThundersCry

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Speak for yourslef...

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 2:21:00 PM

laurell3

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I think many people say things they may not actually mean in the moment. It can however, be a way to say things one was hesitant to say but does mean....ask them.

As far as using sex to get a paticular response (if I'm reading that correctly) that's manipulation, and not something I would ever personally engage in. Hell ask me to do anything when I'm spaced out and I will agree to it. Does that make it a reliable promise? Hell no.

However, I will say post sex conversations can be a good time to say "hey I've been worrying about x and didn't really know how to bring it up....." That is, if one has the ability to speak coherently at that point....

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 2:26:21 PM

Jeffff

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I don't care if she doesn't believe Me. There will be no rings on the end of My penis!

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 8:03:00 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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Both sides of the coin will say all kinds of hot and heavy shit during sex, rings or no rings. I think slavelynn's point was if there is commitment involved and how well you both really know one another. Then again, some people like to play on the sea saw. It all depends.

Hell, think about the question and in what context, for what activitity and to what end. People manipulate and capitalize upon each other every day. However, some things turn out in ways one can't imagine, including the end of things.

If you get somebody to Howl like a Dog, pfffttt.. not so big of a deal. If you engage in something that's a known established hard limit.. that's a different story. All depends...

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/11/2010 8:50:27 PM

sinandhoney

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I've had past partners whos thing was to get me to agree to what ever fantasy got him off. He wasn't looking to do those things just get me to agree to them. Like having me fuck his roommate while he watched or running a train on me, we never did those things but it got him off thinking about it. So while those are things in the midst of sex I said I'd agree to in reality it would never happen

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/12/2010 7:24:40 AM

BeIgnited

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We have The Naked Rule, which means that any fantasy we bring up during sex or as a lead up to sex is assumed to be just a fantasy until we talk about it outside of a sexual context when we're both clothed.

It's helped me be much less inhibited in bed because I don't have to worry that by going along with the fantasy I'm saying I actually want to go through with X. And it's given us a safe way to talk about the things we might actually want to turn into reality.

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/12/2010 10:22:11 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

Has anyone ever used "sex talk" as a way to extract a desired result/answer from your partner and feel comfortable that it is genuine?

It could be the springboard for further discussion. If I took the comments at face value and wanted to act upon them outside of the context they were given, I'd definitely want some clarification beforehand. In terms of directives that may spring forth from interactions of that sort, I'd reiterate what was stated to alleviate misinterpretations and errors.

~porcelaine

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RE: Finding the right place and time - 5/12/2010 10:45:57 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I really don't trust the things that men say while they are in close proximity to my naked body. Blood flow to the brain might be limited, memory is certainly impaired, and why are they bothering me with words right then anyway, when I am interested in action?

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