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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 7:38:00 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
But lets just say that when some people are faced with the fact that they only have 6-12 months left to live, some chose to abandon their current lives and everyone in it in the hopes of fulfilling final dreams, kind of like a bucket list. I have no problem in principle that someone would want to live their final days as they wish

I agree with this view....my granny died on non-hodgkin lymphoma three years ago (as far as I know, am not 100% sure but that's what I found in medical papers I found back home about her as my mother never really talked about it). However, according to my mother the maximum life expectency is about 7 years when you are diagnosed with that condition.

My granny did not want a second chemo, which was recommended to her and so after her first chemo she had about a year where she had a pretty good life....she felt pretty well in those days until it then happened that she came to her end over 6-10 weeks (don't know it for sure how long that final stage was as I live in a different country than my parents and her the last years).

I remember how my dad was rather rude on her death bed, about 2 hours after she had passed away, making comments a la if she would have wanted she would still be here, kind of blaming her for letting herself go... (he was her son-in-law)

I actually was disgusted by his attitude and said "It was HER choice."

Because yes of course she might maybe have had another 2 years or so if she would have continued chemo or so, but she "was ready to go." She did not feel the desire to keep fighting, because quite frankly for what? She could not know at that time that 1.5 years later her first great grand child will be born, that was nowhere predictable that my brother would become a dad with his newest girlfriend...

She had lost her husband 2 years before her, she had lost her independence as she was living with my parents as she had some falls in her house leaving her for hours lying on the floor...there wasn't anything exciting or that worthy for her to continue...and as she felt ready to "let go" I am glad that she did not extended her suffering, did not experience to lose her hair and what else the side effects are...because quite frankly at a certain age "you don't have to" go through all of that...of course it would have been great if she would have had 10 or even 20 more years (she was 79 when she passed away) but overall she was ready to go and I admire her for doing that decision and consider her in no way as being a coward....its about taking responsibility about your life and it's consequences and that was only up to her to decide...not up to us.

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 5/8/2010 7:43:10 AM >

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 7:46:41 AM

domiguy

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yawn.

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 7:49:59 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

A buddy of mine had a cousin, I guess he was in his late 30s, found out he had pancreatic cancer. Said fuck off to any treatment, quit his job, cashed in all his chips, took the wife to Hawaii where they stayed for a few months, partying, until his death.

Story would have been much better if your buddy's cousin could have some how found the strength to blame his wife for his illness....Rented a hotel room and drank himself to death.

Does your buddy have any other dying cousins you could tell us about?

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 7:52:12 AM

wandersalone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Keep your Goddam ponderings to yourself.

This is not a post for random ponderings. This is a thread for quitters.

oops sorry Sir ..

.. if it makes you feel better I failed at smoking...I used to love smoking but found I could go days and then weeks without lighting up. Eventually I stopped buying smokes. My two best friends told me I just didn't try hard enough to keep smoking. I tend to agree with them. sighs....I am such a quitter

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 7:54:17 AM

maybemaybenot

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DG:

Having worked in oncology and hospice for many years, and having personal loved ones leave this life from it, I'm having trouble thinking up a case that fits your question. I'm being sincere, not a smart ass, but what defines some one as yellow bellied, quitter or less than noble ? I'm not sure what you are looking for. Do you mean people who chose not to fight it and just let nature take it's course ? Do you mean people who were shaking and crying in fear on their deathbed ?

Like wandersalone, I don't percieve people who refuse treatment as cowardly or any less noble than say Farrah Fawcett. Matter of fact, I'm kind of the opposite. I may take some flack for this and I mean no offense to anyone who has a loved one who " fought til the end ", but I see Farrah Fawcett as a bit cowardly. I respect her decision and would have supported it, but in my reality: if you are taking treatment and the disease is clearly winning and you are reduced to breathing and pooping, unable to participate any further than that in life, I percieve continuing "failing treatment" as " cowardly " < my own words would be: letting fear override decisions > I love life and want to live as much of it as I can for as long as I can, but when they day comes that my life is no longer enjoyable and I am hating what I have to do to sustain my existance here on earth, I want to say " enough , time for me to let it go and try and live the rest of my days the best I can ". Maybe it's a matter of my strong faith, but death doesn't scare me, I know where I am going. It's the process in between that scares me a bit.

I speak from a place of having been told I had terminal cancer, just about a year to live, with treatment. It was an erroneous diagnosis, but I spent considerable time pondering " what will I do ", before being told they had made a mistake in my diagnosis. I had chosen to have the surgery to remove what they could for comfort reasons, and then to decline chemo/rads and live whatever time I had left as best I could, doing everything I wanted to, but had not yet done until the cancer took that choice away from me. Kinda like a bucket list, but not as defined. Was I scared ? Yep. Was I less than noble when told I was dying ? Yep, I cried, sobbed and screamed like a child. Was my choice not to have treatment that of a " quitter " ? Maybe, I don't think so, but maybe for others it would have been.

So in conclussion, I haven't answered your question, but if you can be more specific, I would be happy to try and give you an example

Again, to those of you fighting and/or have loved ones who are fighting, I mean no disrespect. It's a personal decision that should be respected and supported. There is no right or wrong way to go about it. These are just my own personal thoughts on my own life and my own eventual end.

mbmbn

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 8:18:50 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is really not working out as intended.

well...then state your destination...after all...a taxi driver can't bring you where you want to go either, when you aren't able to tell him where you want to go to...

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 9:37:03 AM

domiguy

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I want a compete collapse...Where the children of the stricken individual proclaim, "my dad is a pussy."

Where even doctors are sickened by the lack of interest.

Give it up.

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 9:49:20 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
But lets just say that when some people are faced with the fact that they only have 6-12 months left to live, some chose to abandon their current lives and everyone in it in the hopes of fulfilling final dreams, kind of like a bucket list. I have no problem in principle that someone would want to live their final days as they wish

I agree with this view....

But you missed the part of my post where the person leaves everyone else picking up the mess. If you are going to do it, fine. But make sure your affairs are in order.

- LA

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RE: Maggie Daley has cancer. - 5/8/2010 11:09:38 AM

heartcream

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The doctor was sickened a lil summin like this.

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