RE: Dommes calling too soon?

RE: Dommes calling too soon? (Full Version)

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VaguelyCurious -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 3:27:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Ha! When I was in London in October, the place was over-run with Starbucks. [:'(] What happened to all those wonderful workmen's caffs that served the tea slopped over in the saucer and an iced bun on the side? They are still around if you know where to look; my favourite is right by Portobello Market-an afternoon of vintage shopping followed by sausage and mash-bliss!

azjojoba -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 4:01:07 PM)
They must have liked your credit rating. My advice would be to go ahead and meet them early but don't use credit cards and only spend as much as you can easily afford.

perfectflaw00 -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 4:44:37 PM)
Recently (although it was my first and only person I've met through cm) I've driven over two and half hours to meet a dominant and to tell the truth I would've doubled that if I had two. We met after corresponding after two and half weeks which may seem long to some here but when we met in person we certainly had much more to talk about and it was such an enjoyable experience

LadyAngelika -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 5:05:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious She's not going to pull out the whips and chains in the middle of Starbucks (see? I can use American reference frames! Or Tim Horton's for the Canadians .... :-) See i can be "international" too. [;)] Oh goodness, no no no... No Timmy Ho's! I don't pollute my body with that stuff. I don't know what they put it in, but it leaves a film in your moth. I'll go to a Italian Café, thank you very much. ;-) And for the OP, I agree with RedMagic, Venatrix & VC (and probably a bunch of others but they had short answers that I picked up on). - LA

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 5:20:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika Oh goodness, no no no... No Timmy Ho's! Ha ... but You don't live in southwestern Ontario either! LOL i have been a number of those .... and the people love them! And i have to admit ... i like the coffee better than starbucks ... But they are similar to McDonalds ...

LadyAngelika -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 5:32:07 PM)
quote: But they are similar to McDonalds ... I wouldn't know, I've never been to a McDonald's in my life. Espresso, only. And if a guy wants to meet for anything other than an espresso, we aren't going to get along that well. Yes, I'm a coffee snob. ;-) - LA

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 5:44:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika And if a guy wants to meet for anything other than an espresso we aren't going to get along that well Well i guess that explains THAT mystery ;-)

PeonForHer -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 5:50:47 PM)
It may be in the nature of submales to be somewhat shy, DVS. I guess you're going to have to tell yourself, 'faint heart ne'er won fair lady'. (Or fair anything else, for that matter.) Best foot forward, now! [;)]

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 7:01:37 PM)
dowryvirginslave, I'm another who doesn't meet up fast. I prefer to chat first...usually within a month I know who I like and who I don't want to meet. With out of state people, sometimes I take months, with people within an hour of where I live, I've met within 2 weeks. I don't roleplay or cyber, and am very leery of providing wank fodder. Some things people "do" online could become an obstacle to meeting them in r/t.

Andalusite -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 7:04:41 PM)
Hmm, back when I was looking, it sometimes took a couple of weeks for the logistics to work out to meet in person. If he wanted to e-mail only, and was that frightened of meeting for coffee or some such, I would have felt he was more drama than I wanted to deal with. I met several people from CM, and from a different site when I was looking 4 years ago, and had zero fakes and zero flakes for actual scheduled dates. I was careful not to engage with people who were in the wishy-washy phase. I did e-mail and talk on the phone for around 3 weeks with someone who like you, got cold feet about meeting in person. Since he was borderline on distance anyway, I decided it wasn't worth making an actual date. There's nothing wrong with being nervous, but I'd suggest waiting until you are feeling more settled and confident before trying to meet anyone. It sounds like some work on your shyness, for example by joining Toastmasters or a volunteer organisation, would be the most helpful thing to you at this point.

OrpheusAgonistes -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 7:36:01 PM)
OP--To be candid, you come off as extraordinarily skittish. Your post is also cloyingly obsequious, and reads like you mistake empty flattery for sincere respect. I'm obviously not your target audience, but I'm pretty good at reading people on short notice, and I'd bet a dollar that no matter how long you had to develop a relationship with someone you'd still flake out on a meeting. You probably don't believe this yourself. You probably honestly believe that if you just had the time and space and the planets aligned correctly and you didn't have to water your neighbor's fern while she's away on vacation and your parakeet wasn't under the weather and and and and and..... But character indexes behavior, and you are redolent of Walter Mittyism to me. How can you change this? Make a plan and follow through on it. The next time someone wants to phone you, if you feel like there is a dynamic there, let her. Maybe it will be a train wreck. Maybe it will be nothing but awkward pauses finally terminated by someone making a thinly veiled excuse to get off the line. But do it. Next time someone wants to meet, figure out when it's logistically feasible and make a commitment. Maybe it will be good, maybe it will be bad. It won't be your fantasy, but it will be tangible. It will be an experience to build on. Maybe you'll find out that you can't do it and you'll flake out. At least then, you'll know more about yourself. At this point, you're just kind of wispy and unsubstantial. There's really nothing there--fantasies and words and untested beliefs. Even if you meet someone and it turns out to be kind of a waste of an afternoon, that's still better than a life of inchoate daydreams and empty urges.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Dommes calling too soon? (4/19/2010 11:13:33 PM)
Truthfully ... if you have learned anything here, today ... Just go with the flow ... the Lady calls the shots ... and they are all different. Whether it is espresso at an Italian cafe, Starbucks ... in London, Tim Hortons in ... well parts of Canada ... McDonalds ... or what ever ... you will like the place and the drink ... if you like the Lady ... And if you are going to be the submissive ... just go ... and have a great experience! Because real life meeting ... is the only way you will really grow with experience. And if you are really worried about being "outed" ... there are worse dangers of that, sitting behind your computer screen.

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