Newb question about meets.

Newb question about meets. (Full Version)

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Phoenix73Sir -> Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 9:19:51 AM)
I have heard lots of talk about Munches etc and have seen them advertised on Informed Concent, but I have never actually known what one is, or what other type of meets are available. Would someone please give me the lowdown on what they are, what happens and what is expected please. I have been told that for a new(ish) Dom like me they are invaluable places to go. Thanks for reading :)

LadyPact -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 9:25:37 AM)
A munch is a social gathering of kinky people, usually over dinner. It is nothing more than a chance of kinky people to meet in a vanilla setting. I've noticed that a number of your questions are stemming from you not knowing a lot about BDSM. It may be very helpful to you to read one of the non fiction books about the lifestyle. Many can be found on this thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm . I would suggest to you perhaps "The Loving Dominant" or "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns". Also, you may wish to take advantage of the search feature here, as many new folks tend to ask very basic questions that are often repeated.

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 11:31:11 AM)
They are pretty much a social meet and greet with other kinksters in a public setting, usually at a restaurant. Often we just socialize, talk about the lifestyle and/or other general topics yet we also keep in mind that we are in a puclice venue so we tone down the nature of some topics. Basically it's to meet others in a public setting to get to know each other and socialize, my group doesn't allow any sort of role playing to occur and fetish wear is strongly discouraged.

peppermint -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 11:37:23 AM)
As LP has said, munches are social gatherings. You can expect a group of people of various ages having lunch or dinner in a restaurant. Some munches are lucky enough to have a private room in the restaurant which means conversations can be more adult in nature. Often though, even in a private room there will be talk about more every day type subjects such as work, a new car, a new puppy, etc. We ask that people not wear fetish items to munch as we prefer to not draw any negative attention to the group. Once you have attended 2 or 3 munches and we realize you are an okay kind of guy, you'd be invited to the private play party that we have on the evening of the munch. However, not all munches are a preliminary to a party. It just depends on the area. At the party there may be a demonstration of something. Sometimes we sit around and chat while some are using equipment that is only available at the play space. In Montana people may drive 150 miles to attend a munch or even further. We're lucky in that we have an extra motor home. It's available for those who need a place to spend the night.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 11:40:56 AM)
Aaah. well that explains the origins of the word Munch.. (had thought it was something less innocuous than that lol) generalyy speaking for a new person do they have to be 'introduced' or is it a case of just showing up?

bondmaid123 -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 12:01:27 PM)
As far as being introduced, again, it depends on your group and your area. :P (wouldn't it be nice if there were black and white answers? ;) The ones I've gone to have varied from meet-and-greets in a restaurant to a discussion group in a private home.... Normally the organizer or a designated contact person will introduce the newbs to the more established members and sometimes even try to partner you with somebody who may have similar interests or something... but there's SO much variety....

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 12:04:29 PM)
Well thank you all for your input. I have always been put off going a little bit due to my own lack of understanding as to what would happen etc. but they sound like just the sort of place i would enjoy. (wanders off to IC to look up the next local one)

peppermint -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 12:15:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir Aaah. well that explains the origins of the word Munch.. (had thought it was something less innocuous than that lol) generalyy speaking for a new person do they have to be 'introduced' or is it a case of just showing up? It's usually a matter of just showing up. People who are shy sometimes write to the organizers and arrange to be taken under someone's wing for the first munch. Normally the host will introduce you to the others. However there are exceptions to that. I know of one munch that might have 100 people in attendance during it's 4 hours. It is just not possible for the host to introduce you to everyone although it's normal for someone to introduce you to a few people at least. I have never heard of a munch that required an invitation. By the way, don't expect to find your perfect submissive right away, although you never know.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 12:31:05 PM)
lol TBH i was looking at it more as information gathering and networking than speed dating (sorry.. my odd sense of humour)

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 12:51:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir lol TBH i was looking at it more as information gathering and networking than speed dating (sorry.. my odd sense of humour) Pretty much it is a social networking and a way to have new comers start feeling less shy and nervous about meeting other kinksters. Especially for ones who find it intimadating to meet others and this is a good way to do so on neutral ground and in a fairly safe enviroment.

sirguym -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 4:06:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir lol TBH i was looking at it more as information gathering and networking than speed dating (sorry.. my odd sense of humour) I see you're UK based; most munches in the UK are in pubs, though there are exceptions, there are several within easy reach for you, listed on IC. Only a few have play parties to follow, though again there are exceptions ... The other good place to try are the various fetish markets, I guess your local one would be the BBB in Birmingham, details via IC.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: Newb question about meets. (4/5/2010 4:09:54 PM)
Yeah I checked IC and there are none withing the county listed at present but there are in the area. I am going to look into them (and also the possibility of finding someone who would happily accompany me as I would feel happier not entering on my own. Hopefully it is just a matter of time before they put a new venue up in the next town again.

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