The kidless kinksters thread. (Full Version)

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Smutmonger -> The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 7:57:13 AM)

Just sounding out folks without kids on here. I decided at some point in my life that I wasn't good parent material-and I stuck with it.

Ideally-people like me find others who don't have children as well-it makes life a lot less complicated.

But it does still create problems.

Do you ever feel judged for the choice not to have bred?



GreedyTop -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 7:58:49 AM)

Not lately, but yeah... sometimes I have felt judged. 



onlyfreelycaged -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:01:48 AM)

yes, I am.. but mostly because I think of a unborn baby inside *me* as a parasite. (at least for the time being)



NihilusZero -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:02:10 AM)

Nope.

About the only rumination I occasionally suffer is that of being the only son my parents had and, as far as this branch of the family tree is concerned, no children would mean the end of the last name.



Smutmonger -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:11:51 AM)

[;)]I'm not the only one of my "name" out there,and I would not let a constraint like that make such a grave decision for me in any case.

And I really enjoy the freedom to do as I please.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Nope.

About the only rumination I occasionally suffer is that of being the only son my parents had and, as far as this branch of the family tree is concerned, no children would mean the end of the last name.




GreedyTop -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:12:24 AM)

That's a bit of it too, for me, NZ.  I am my parents only child.  I feel SOME self-inflicted pressure due to that.  There is a part of me that feels like I am failing in some way by choosing not to continue the DNA line of my parents.  This is NOT a sufficient reason to reproduce, though.  Besides, I am rapidly approaching the point where the choice is no longer mine, anyway... (damned hot flashes!!)



Smutmonger -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:18:46 AM)

My mother asked me several years ago.."When am I going to see some grandchildren?"

I just replied,"And this is your choice to make..how? Don't hold your breath waiting!"



GreedyTop -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:24:08 AM)

My mom is resigned to having grand-furbabies...LOL



Lucienne -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:30:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

There is a part of me that feels like I am failing in some way by choosing not to continue the DNA line of my parents.


This. Except I'd take it one more step and say that I feel a teeny tiny bit of guilt that at this point I'm completely indifferent to spreading my DNA. So I feel slightly guilty for feeling like I'm not failing if I choose not to reproduce. I mean, that whole reproductive urge is kind of the essence of life. But I figure what's the point of achieving higher level consciousness if I don't feel free to exercise choice when I can? I never decided "no way am I having kids." I think I'd make a great parent. I also think that parenting urges are different than reproductive urges. It's not impossible at this stage that I might find myself deciding to get pregnant, although it seems pretty damn unlikely. And when the biological window closes, I'll still have plenty of opportunities to nurture. At the end of the day, I think nurturing is more important than contributing my particular strand to the gene pool.

I don't talk about this sort of stuff very often, and when I do people tend to be confused, not particularly judgmental.



GreedyTop -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:38:34 AM)

I think (NOW, as opposed to even 10 yrs ago) I'd be a good parent.  Ihave no desire to actually be preggers, though.  Maybe someday, fostering or adopting might be an option.  Although that still sidesteps the whole DNA thing..LOL



Hawkwindblues -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:39:24 AM)

It was a very long time ago that i decided due to different reasons, that i do not see blood bonded children on my way.

From time to time i thought about it, because i felt the need to do it and i am of the inclination to proof my attitudes regularly.

I felt judged and misunderstood, but not as a very often occurence. As i am exceptionally good with children and taught a lot in my life, i still stayed in contact, i even had to help a friend through the birth of her daughter, which was a breathtaking experience.

Today i am still happy and content with my decision.



CarrieO -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:39:54 AM)

I love children....other people's children.  You know, the ones you can love and spoil then not worry about saving for their college education!

I've worked with children in one way or another for over 20 years...I've been able to have a positive effect in the life of many ankle biters.  Yes, I know I would have made a fantastic mom but I made the conscious choice to remain childless.  I like being Aunty.  I have a nurturing nature and I can express that in many different ways.

I would have no problem with becoming involved with a man who has children but it's not something I seek out. 

My mom has come to accept that there'll be no grandkids from me. 



CarrieO -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:43:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
Maybe someday, fostering or adopting might be an option. 


I've given serious thought to fostering and plan on doing it at some point.  There are so many other options to express a nurturing side. 



Wolf2Bear -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:43:52 AM)

Thankfully in the past 20 yrs or so, I haven't gotten the lecture of " It's up to me to carry on the family name so when will I get married and have kids?"  I never wanted offspring and never felt that drive to reproduce, and in the cold light of day...I am damn glad I didn't have offspring as I'd make a damn lousy parent.



GreedyTop -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:46:54 AM)

Bear.. what I know of you, you'd make an awesome Daddy (of the parental type LOL).



BKSir -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:51:45 AM)

Can't stand em, don't want em, not gonna happen.  Plain as that.



Wolf2Bear -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:57:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Bear.. what I know of you, you'd make an awesome Daddy (of the parental type LOL).


Thanks Greedy yet it comes down to the plain fact that I do not want nor have I ever wanted that responsibility.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 8:59:49 AM)

Being child free is the best decision I EVER made. And I made that decision at age FIVE!!



sblady -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 9:00:23 AM)

I've been judged and called selfish for my decision to remain childless. I really wanted at least one child but didn't want to be a single parent. Honestly? I've only met one man who I felt would be a great father and that's Sir. As we're of a "certain" age, it's a non-issue. He does have kids but they're grown and out of the house.

I have a lot of siblings and have over 30 nieces and nephews. Whenever my biological clock started ticking, I'd get one or two of them for a weekend or so.



Dominasola -> RE: The kidless kinksters thread. (3/15/2010 9:03:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Do you ever feel judged for the choice not to have bred?


Being young, this hasn't come up with me yet as I still have 20+ years to do so.

I HAVE, however, felt judged sometimes because I CAN'T have children.



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