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RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/5/2006 6:44:43 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Two points:

 
  1. All the Dommes and Mistresses I know are polite and depending on what is happening, often will uses “please” and even when they don’t they are still polite. Politeness does not hinge of saying please and “thank you”. Those terms are just the most obvious and common forms indicating politeness… This applies to most Doms and Masters I know too. I rarely issue an order (rarely did in the military except with rookies).
  2. I am able to communicate my wishes clearly and concisely with out a formal command. Those under my command know I expect my wishes to be carried out even when in jail or dead…. I mostly add the terms “Please” or “I would appreciate…”. I always thank those who obey when they have completed their tasks…. However there are times when a whiplash command is more appropriate (often with vanilla nebbish ~ interesting how many of those will jump to obey a Master. [Arrogant comment? Hell Yes but true!]  )


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/7/2006 6:28:17 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
There are many people that confuse dominance with assholishness (ok, I made it up).  Being rude or domineering does not make one dominant, it just makes them rude or domineering.


I totally agree, and if fact the rudeness of others just sets me in motion to be defiant by nature.  It's who I am.  You don't have to be rude to me for me to submit to you. 
 
The sub you speak of may just enjoy more of a Sadist/Dom also.  Have you asked his/her preference?

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/7/2006 6:32:45 AM   
scratchingpost


Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		I feel that there is no reason why a dominant cannot show appreciation and display courtesy and be polite. Dom/me or slave/submissive we are all people and all people unless they show they deserve otherwise should be shown respect. At least in my opinion

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be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/7/2006 6:47:08 AM   
MsSophie


Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline 		In my world it is being a Domme and being impolite which is incompatible. If you're rude you're not a dominant, just a plain bully.

(in reply to scratchingpost)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/7/2006 7:26:33 AM   
GoddessElectra


Posts: 26
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I Myself have had MANY MANY slaves say I am too nice, but I've also found that many other slaves say they like the fact I am nice and treat them like a human. When being "rude" is called for (sessions ect) I can do just that, but I prefer just to be Me....nice.  When I have a slave whom really needs a mean Goddess, I will be mean because its what he NEEDS, its not him topping from the bottom because to Me its not his want but need, if that makes sense. I always give My slaves what they need, not what they want. Its about Me! and a happy slave is a good slave!


Goddess Electra

edited for typo's hope I got them all lol

< Message edited by GoddessElectra -- 4/7/2006 7:28:16 AM >

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~~Goddess is your BEGINNING & your END~~

(in reply to MsSophie)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/16/2006 6:02:53 PM   
LuvSponge


Posts: 109
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:


These topics are not new between you and I.  Weren't you paying attention?  Perhaps it's the curve.


It hasn't been 6 months yet.


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No matter if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.

(Unless of course she tells you otherwise).

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/16/2006 6:10:34 PM   
LuvSponge


Posts: 109
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DigitBox

Hi everyone in General BDSM Discussions.  I'm sort of new on CM, I'm a switch but I've been more in the Domme mode for the last little while although I'd still classify my level of experience to be between newbie and intermediate.

Something I've been told by a sub that I was seeing is that I didn't have to say please when I wanted something.  But the thing is for me being polite is just something I do for everyone. 

Saying that, if I'm given a reason to, I can stop being polite and be insistant or demanding.  But usually I will say "Could you do this please?" or "Give me your arm please.".  It's just something that kind of comes naturally to me.

But I dunno, is it normal for the Domme to be polite to the sub? 

Or will I always seem weird for this habit?



They are normal because you deem them so.

That's not a "sub" response...it's an appropriate response. 

You're in charge.

_____________________________

No matter if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.

(Unless of course she tells you otherwise).

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/16/2006 7:16:52 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DigitBox

Hi everyone in General BDSM Discussions.  I'm sort of new on CM, I'm a switch but I've been more in the Domme mode for the last little while although I'd still classify my level of experience to be between newbie and intermediate.

Something I've been told by a sub that I was seeing is that I didn't have to say please when I wanted something.  But the thing is for me being polite is just something I do for everyone. 

Saying that, if I'm given a reason to, I can stop being polite and be insistant or demanding.  But usually I will say "Could you do this please?" or "Give me your arm please.".  It's just something that kind of comes naturally to me.

But I dunno, is it normal for the Domme to be polite to the sub? 

Or will I always seem weird for this habit?


Master does it ALL the time.  i think its kind of cute actually.  "could you please go get me something to drink"  "please get me something to eat"  "please get me water"  "please turn out the light"  Always, when i return with a "thank you baby"  Always, he never fails to say thank you.  i find it rather cute and well curiousity struck me (several times to be excat)  mmmmmm  so when he said "would you please do A" i said  "No, cant right now, maybe later" even "i'm busy you do it"  Basically telling him no, with out ever saying that dreaded no word.  lolz  Mostly when i do, through my curiousity its always in a playful way, when he isnt in a i need now a, b, c. All get out serious "i want" mood. 

Ah he tells me he never asks for things.  As i've found out, he's excatly right.  Its not i'd say a disguise, its just the way he phrases his demands.  In a polite question. 

On top of that he's got this issue with doors.  No matter how hard i try to open a door for him and have him walk through it, never fail he will not walk through it.  He insists on holding the door open.  He's very subtle in his "insitance", he simply (as he's a foot and so taller) grabs the door up top and holds it lolz  Even if i look at him to say "i got it" (being subtle myself) and once more bluntly saying "i got it" ayep, he just stands there.  Sometimes though, when i get blunt he does as well and would say something like "go" Of course i learned this in a round about way.. curiousity of course!  i of course thought it'd be nice if i held the door open for him.  Found out through trial and error.. No! thats not the case. Yet of course, i still try.. as i'm a determined person.. and lolz if its nice to have the door held open for me, i'm sure it's got to be nice for him. 

So for you OP, i dont think its wierd or strange or anything wrong with it.  Just dont be suprissed if some one gets curious = )

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/18/2006 11:58:07 AM   
LadyRoseNThorns


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/15/2006
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline 		Being a Dominate whether Dom or Domme does not excuse one from the basics of manners and class and the golden rule. However, the time and place also comes into the spectrum here. I believe in terms of general serving, one should use the appropriate "pleases" and "thank yous". However, in the context of a full blown "scene", in public or private, I think its at the descretion of the scene you are playing and your individual likes. Personally, during a scene, things have already been pre-negotiated, and the "power and control" rest in my hands ...  Now the sub asking  "May I please have more Mi'Lady?", may or may not get them what they want   *Evil laugh*

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And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom ~Anis Nin~

(in reply to CAROLF)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Being the Domme and being polite, are they compatible? - 4/18/2006 12:25:09 PM   
Crittersmaster


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		My favorite Drill Sergeant even said it like this: "Thank you very much, can I please be in charge for a while?" I wouldn't take that as a request.

(in reply to CAROLF)
Profile   Post #: 70
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