Sub slave, vanilla switch?

Sub slave, vanilla switch? (Full Version)

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RiotGirl -> Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 8:42:15 PM)
Can i equate switch to vanilla? Why doesnt collarme have a "vanilla" selection. If given up girls and now i'm giving up bdsm. Does this mean one should take down their profile? Since there is no "vanilla" thing? Like the community, like the people but i am accepting what's been fast coming. i am not a sub, nor am i definetly not a slave, nor am i a dominant. i refuse to bow to anyone nor let anyone bow to me. Period. i'm absolutely DONE. Its retarded its retarded its retarded its retarded. i am definetly not retarded and i refuse to act like i am retarded anymore. thats retarded. No collar! How about that. i suppose i could walk over and "give" it back some sort of sentinmental thing but more or less it seems more like some retarded melodramatic thig. i think i will just leave the dang thing where it is and continue moving in the direction i have been moving in. Collarme reaaalllllllllllly should have a "vanilla" selction.

truesub4u -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 8:47:26 PM)
Makes a fresh pot of coffee...... restocks bar..... checks snacks... chocolate supply..... OK Riot.... WTF is going on? You got me worried.

RiotGirl -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 10:22:05 PM)
Ack! Never be worried. i'm always on top of the situation. Except of course when i am confused about how i feel about something. Then i'm like uuuuuh. Literally AM on top of the situation. i am pulling the strings, making the moves, taking care of business. i have literally, taken my control back. Nothing to worry about with that. Truely. Its not a bad thing, its a good thing. Its empowering. i can do anything. And heh, i am doing it. on that note. i just dont see myself fitting into the whole bdsm thing anymore. The whole submissive thing. i could possibly NOT be submissive. Its not a bad thing either. i can chalk it up to one of those things i tried that didnt work out. There are alot of things in my life that did not work out. Heck, i'd even think about being a Domme but i already know its not for me. <grins> i was just abit cranky i couldnt list myself as vanilla. i was able to go from bi to straight. Why can i go from sub to vanilla? Hmmmm

stef -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 10:41:30 PM)
There already is a "vanilla" forum, right here. ~stef

truesub4u -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 10:45:02 PM)
OK, yeah I can see where you are going with this. I know over past couple of weeks. That perhaps I needed to also step back... and reconsider where my stance is. I was angered though, not just confused. I thought perhaps this one would be better off spending her days alone. But I do not want to. I thought perhaps taking on a more Domme approach... but I figured I was too angry to do that, and I would be doing so out of anger. Knowing that is not for me either, would just be wrong. Not only that, I would be punishing, not dominating. Sometimes taking steps back are the right moves to make. Sometimes not. I know I did once before, and it only my desires stronger. I still am not for the most part sure of myself. My confusion and anger has somewhat blinded my visions. But like you, I like to be more in control of my own situations. So I had to pull back and think things out. I am a survivor in many ways. I am strong, independent and stand on my own two feet. When I get knocked down, I get right back up and dare one to try it again. But because of these ummm... (as some would call to much of a Dominant traits).... I am still me. And I am still a submissive. As much as I even try to tell myself that I very well my not be. So I gave up on it. Riot, all you can do .... is be true to yourself as well. What ever road one takes in life, they have to be true to themselves, first and foremost. Before they can be true to anyone else. I may not know you personally, but I know a survivor when I run across one. What ever road you decide to take in your life, it will be one that wil help you be, who you are. And that is all that will ever matter. Who knows, the road you take now, may lead you back here, or to somewhere even better than here. I got a feeling you'll take the right turn, when the choice comes to you. Either it be now, or later, ...... you will still be who you really are.... even if you do not know who that is yet... part of the journey of life, is finding that out.... and that's half the fun. What ever you decide... Riot... you have friends here. Hugggggggggggggggzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

RiotGirl -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/25/2006 11:12:02 PM)
whoa.. i think i hit reload with out knowing it. What i was trying to say was i didnt know what to say to your thoughtful well thought out post. And then i side tracked to a thought thats been running through my head tonight. That they say bi polar folks need regular sleep and i was wondering why if thats why the day has been so rough on me. Well a few days as i havent been getting much sleep. Think i got home around 5 am last night and some where close to it the night before and well there's been many late nights, early mornings non stop days. god knows. i dont think i am stepping back, but maybe i am. i am defining a line i think really. i am defining again whats okay for me. and right now being submissive or slave is NOT OKAY. i do not feel it so i will not be it. Heh i understand the alone thing. i would absolutely love to be alone. But alas i can not hole up somewhere and lock all entry ways as nothing would get done. It would prolly all fall apart LOL As or taking the right turn. Ah poo.. i make many many many many and many more wrong turns. But thats okay cos they just help me find the right turn. yes and i am me. No matter what anyone says about me. <grins>

denika -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 3:25:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: truesub4u Makes a fresh pot of coffee...... restocks bar..... checks snacks... chocolate supply..... OK Riot.... WTF is going on? You got me worried. Chocolate... you have chocolate???? ooh and caffiene I like the way you think ss w denika

Level -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 4:57:21 AM)
Okay.......you've posted about sleeping with four guys in one night and now having some serious issues about whether you belong in BDSM anymore. Sounds like a lotta turmoil there, riotgirl, and I hope you slow down and look at what needs to be done to ensure your safety. As for "not fitting" into a BDSM category, there isn't anything wrong with that. Even if you turn out to be the Queen of the Vanilla Wafers, that is ok. Just want to be kinky occasionally? Ok. Want to switch (which ain't vanilla btw [X(])? Ok. Level

ScooterTrash -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 5:03:34 AM)
Vanilla selection on collar me? How about, NO! RiotGirl, I have read your posts for many months and somehow I just don't see you in that flavor, but if you are serious, it simply means Collarme is just not the right place for you (any more), not that they need a way to specify that. There are plenty of sites geared toward nilla, less so for BDSM. I have always been under the belief that when someone does accept, or perhaps embrace their feeling and cross over to BDSM, they generally don't want to go back. But then again, as you say, since you have been there and maybe, just maybe it really doesn't fit and perhaps it is time to step back and see if this is really right for you. As for the retarded aspect, I take exception to this being applied to WIITWD. Slow anything is probably not a valid description, particularly with regard to anything mental. The BDSM way of life takes a lot more mental aptitude and thought than it does to just "fit" into the nilla carton. I'll just assume you are having one of them reflective days. Like I said, I have read your post for a very long time and going by that, I just don't see you in the vanilla light.

slavejali -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 5:17:25 AM)
*quote:* Original: Level Sounds like a lotta turmoil there, riotgirl, and I hope you slow down and look at what needs to be done to ensure your safety. You take care Riotgirl [:)]

perfection20005 -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 5:22:00 AM)
Take a deep breath and relax girl. You have been going through one of your manic phases, I can tell from your posts, and yes I am bipolar too so I know what it means. Get some sleep, talk to people. Don't say that you're giving up BDSM just because its the first thing to pop out. We love you girl, we're here for you when you need us.

lilbeauty -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 5:35:49 AM)
Well, wow...ive never posted on this forum and now i have something to say, and i dont know what to say except Riot, ya dont know me and maybe ya dont want to. But ive been there before...ive been at the point where im cursing the Gods for making me, my mother for birthing me, and my blood for pumping this insane craving for bdsm into me...but from what it looks like you got mad friends here...and hey, ya dont know me, but if you ever need someone to vent on. we are all here for you...get some sleep, insomnia is NOT healthy..says that after her own insomnia craze...going on three days now Sometimes...its hard being me...but then i have Him...and its not so hard...but HE is...wicked grin

ownedgirlie -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 8:07:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali *quote:* Original: Level Sounds like a lotta turmoil there, riotgirl, and I hope you slow down and look at what needs to be done to ensure your safety. You take care Riotgirl [:)] i echo this

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 8:38:27 AM)
Collarme doesn't have a vanilla selection because it isn't geared towards vanillas. However, I do wish it had a Top/Bottom/Sadomasochist selection, for those of us who aren't subs or doms (like moi) and aren't interested in paying to use Alt or B.com. I understand where you're coming from by reassessing your interest in BDSM. I don't see anything wrong with returning to vanilla, and have written about it somewhat extensively in my journal. I have gone from impressionable youth to online "subbie" (shudder) to real life slave to real life sub to real life switch. I've finally found a little stopping point where I might actually fit, somewhat. PS to ScooterTrash: All of life requires mental aptitude. One who is vanilla on a sexual level may also be a philosopher or a mathematician or a skeptic, searching our vast world for answers to the rest of life's questions. Certainly, one doesn't just "fit" into any little box, whether it be a vanilla box, a bdsm box, a kink box, or an asexual box.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 8:53:05 AM)
Collarme, may not have a "vanilla" section persay but I see many who put in their profiles that they are not seeking anything but good conversation and the use of boards. This to me seperates them in some ways from many people in collar me. Just a thought. Nika{Phoenix}

RiotGirl -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 8:59:19 AM)
Oh helllllllz no, i'm not leaving collarme. = ) i like it. They've gots to kick me out. i want to be vanilla and be here. i didnt mean BDSM is retarded. i ment me saying i am submissive is retarded. Me keeping up what i feel is a hoax at this point. Did you read the list of responsibilities i wrote down Scooter? i am the one in control around here. Things go how i say they go and when i say they go and if i dont like it they dont go that way. Its been rolling this way for awhile actually, i am just ready to embrace it and not fight it. Saying that, i dont think i could actually participate in a relationship as a nilla. That'd be strange. i think i'd rather just be single. So less confusing! Its not right for me right now.. ARg.. none of this is "new" i didnt just get a hair brained idea and say "hey, i'm not submissive anymore.. thats swell" <sigh> Its not a big deal. None of its a big deal! Its all positive changes, atleast i viewed them as. some of them strange.. thats for sure. Like the slut thing.. that is just soooo strange! Did enjoy reading your post Scooter. Hey, cant i decide i'm not submissive and come to collarme too? Or does deciding that....? <grins> And thanks for all the nice farewells. (even if i didnt know i was leaving!) And welcome to the boards lilbeauty.. should post more often. tons of great ppl here with alot of good wisdom! My safety is taken care off too. i take my boyfriend along with me everywhere! i have him meet anyone i am going to be hanging around just so he can get an impression and know excatly where i am and who i'm with. Ahem i didnt sleep with 4 guys the other night. i only slept with one.. ran out of time for the other 3. And i suppose i could be kinky. (Collarme should make a selection for that too) Cos well i have a fetish for force and a thing for dominant men. that'd make me kinky right?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 10:55:34 AM)
Since this is a place for kinky/"lifestyle" people, then there's no reason to have a vanilla forum. However, there's no reason vanilla people can't come and enjoy the forums as much as anyone.

Level -> RE: Sub slave, vanilla switch? (3/26/2006 11:04:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Oh helllllllz no, i'm not leaving collarme. = ) i like it. They've gots to kick me out. i want to be vanilla and be here. i didnt mean BDSM is retarded. i ment me saying i am submissive is retarded. Me keeping up what i feel is a hoax at this point. Did you read the list of responsibilities i wrote down Scooter? i am the one in control around here. Things go how i say they go and when i say they go and if i dont like it they dont go that way. Its been rolling this way for awhile actually, i am just ready to embrace it and not fight it. Saying that, i dont think i could actually participate in a relationship as a nilla. That'd be strange. i think i'd rather just be single. So less confusing! Its not right for me right now.. ARg.. none of this is "new" i didnt just get a hair brained idea and say "hey, i'm not submissive anymore.. thats swell" <sigh> Its not a big deal. None of its a big deal! Its all positive changes, atleast i viewed them as. some of them strange.. thats for sure. Like the slut thing.. that is just soooo strange! Did enjoy reading your post Scooter. Hey, cant i decide i'm not submissive and come to collarme too? Or does deciding that....? <grins> And thanks for all the nice farewells. (even if i didnt know i was leaving!) And welcome to the boards lilbeauty.. should post more often. tons of great ppl here with alot of good wisdom! My safety is taken care off too. i take my boyfriend along with me everywhere! i have him meet anyone i am going to be hanging around just so he can get an impression and know excatly where i am and who i'm with. Ahem i didnt sleep with 4 guys the other night. i only slept with one.. ran out of time for the other 3. And i suppose i could be kinky. (Collarme should make a selection for that too) Cos well i have a fetish for force and a thing for dominant men. that'd make me kinky right? Yep, pretty damn kinky lol. And as for running "run out of time with the other 3", what'd you do with them? Give them rain checks?? Level

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