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windchymes -> RE: question about exes (1/29/2010 9:47:51 AM)
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It's all about when, how and why you talk about your exes. Most people have exes. And it's likely that they ARE exes because there were negative issues and incompatibility in the relationship.
I see nothing wrong with matter-of-factly discussing episodes of your past if it's relevent to the conversation you happen to be having, or to events that are occurring in the present. However, going on and on and on and on about what a jerk the ex was, and how everything was his or her fault, getting all worked up, shouting and throwing things, etc., is a big turn-off for me, and I don't do it myself.
If your current interest has a child with an ex, then you're going to have to hear things about that ex. I think that's a necessary evil, because the two of them have to parent that child until it's an adult, and there's a good chance that they may have opposing views on how the child should be raised. Things are bound to get heated sometimes, and your interest is probably going to do some venting to you. I personally don't have a problem with that, and am glad that the interest is comfortable enough with me to fill me in on what has transpired both currently and in their past, and the reasons for the disagreements they might have.
Comparing physical appearance, intelligence, sexual ability and the like is a big no-no. Unless YOUR appearance, intelligence and sexual ability are far superior to hers, then comparing is a good thing. [:D]
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