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Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 6:54:54 AM

Lucienne

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I apologize for not coming up with a more dignified subject line, and I swear this thread is not designed to solicit wank material. I thought about posting it in the General Discussion section, but it seemed even more likely to go wanky there and I'm seriously interested in other women's experience of this.

So... I'm working on doing this strap-on business and I'm pretty excited about it. Shopping around, I couldn't help but notice that they all seem really... big. That probably sounds silly, but please understand that I'm one of those odd birds that hasn't really done anything with objects designed as sex toys (I like to think of it as reserving something interesting for my advancing years). So although I'm not intellectually surprised that the phalluses marketed are larger than the average real life penis, I am emotionally put off by it. Because I just don't think that if I had a penis, it would be that big. Getting to pick my own penis, as it were, I don't particularly want it to be that big. Average length, a little extra girth, and maybe a crook on the end. That's the phallus I want. In my rich and varied experience with penises, I've found that bigger is not always better and when it comes to the ass, bigger can be kind of frightening.

I guess my question is two fold- from a functional perspective, is a larger strap-on more desirable (to the strapper or the receiver)? And, has anyone else had the sense of, not sure how to put this, relating to a strap on as an artificial member and not just a sex toy? The Feeldoe seems to invite this.

I'm not sure if I've expressed this well. I'm not looking for shopping tips or lessons on working a person's ass up to taking a full load. And although my purpose is to mount a man, I'm also interested in the experiences of people who use strap-ons with women.

ETA: I removed the exclamation point from the subject line because I realized it probably came across as sarcastic when it was really more laughing at myself for even trying to ask this question.

< Message edited by Lucienne -- 1/19/2010 7:23:57 AM >

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 7:59:06 AM

LadyPact

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I'm not used to you being quite so confused in your written word approach. LOL. Let's see if I can get to the basis of your questions. The part that I can't help you with is in relation to women. I'm straight and that includes any form of strap on play with females.

I do relate to My strap on as My cock. I actually only use the term strap on if discussing it outside of the activity itself. Anytime I'm engaged with someone else, the strap on term goes out the window. Somehow, this incorporates it more to Me than a random sex toy.

Does size matter? Yes and no. It's going to vary according to prior experience. Not just for the receiver, but the giver as well. There is somewhat of a learning curve here, so you don't want to go too big. When I bought My first one years ago, I specifically picked out a model that had a snap on base that could use various sizes from the same product line. That way, My cock could grow as My experience grew. It accommodates different sized and shaped (you mentioned the hook) attachments. It will cost you more than just buying one, but I can say that I found Mine absolutely worth it. Mine has a vibrator in the base which I have always loved. One last additional benefit. It's simple enough to buy a different attachment should you have more than one partner. (Just the same as you would if you were talking about an anal plug.)

Depending on who you are going to be using it with, they may be all too eager for the bigger models. Often, this falls into 'the eyes are bigger' category. They think they want big, but they can't really take it. Then, you're back to searching for a smaller model anyway.

I've had good success with the feeldoe. I've heard some comments from others who have remarked that it is 'too stiff' and prefer the Nexus. I'm quite satisfied with the former.

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 9:13:06 AM

AAkasha

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Size does matter for the visual impact. A great deal of strap on play is psychological.
But the functionality of a huge dick is questionable. What would be ideal is a cock that LOOKS HUGE but really is more practical when it comes to the actual ass-fucking!

Also something you may want to note is that for some kinky femdom couples, strap on play is also oral. As much as I love to fuck a man in the ass, making him suck my dick is really a turn on - and in that case, I look for different types of "cocks."

Hope this helps!
Akasha

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 9:20:55 AM

DianeB269

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Huge strapons are great for photo sessions...I like to use thick 8" to 9" strapons when humping a guy and 6" to 7" strapon when playing with a female....

http://www.bigsextoystore.com/cgi-bin/edatcat/BTSstore.cgi?user_action=list&category=Dildos;Regular%20Dildos

The CollarMe store has some really good prices

http://www.extremerestraints.com/dildos-and-ables_180/

Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 1/19/2010 9:38:36 AM >

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 9:31:18 AM

Drifa

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My Lady and I prefer the double-ended Nexxus with the Terra Firma harness. The advantage with the harness is that you get a better hands-free experience. We both found the Feeldoe uncomfortable and impossible in some positions (and a pricey mistake, because you can't trade them in if they don't fit!) I also find the Nexxus is better on the giver's sensation end (YMMV). For a single-end dildo strap on for use with another woman, a thigh harness can actually be more comfortable a lot of times, and you can each use one if desired. Having both options is nice.

If you search the archives here for strap-on threads, there was a great one about why some male subs pick out very large dildoes (eyes bigger than their...) So some of the monster-sized dildoes you see out there are built to accommodate the "I want it huge" market. My personal preference is something with enough diameter to get good sensation, and enough length to not slip out when the motion of the ocean gets to storm-surge levels. What this translates for your use is really dependent on what you and your partner are comfortable with.

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 10:20:12 AM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm not used to you being quite so confused in your written word approach. LOL.

I know. Quite the mess. But thank you for wading through it

quote:

I do relate to My strap on as My cock. I actually only use the term strap on if discussing it outside of the activity itself. Anytime I'm engaged with someone else, the strap on term goes out the window. Somehow, this incorporates it more to Me than a random sex toy.

That is, indeed, what I'm getting at. Thinking about this at the same time as I'm processing my random responses to the "Forced Masculinization" thread regarding gender roles and the essence of masculinity has produced quite a mish mash in my head. I could take the confusion of my OP up a notch by discussing my sensation that I can wield a cock without feeling remotely "masculine." ;)

Thanks to everyone for their responses. It all helps.

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 3:41:19 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Size does matter for the visual impact. A great deal of strap on play is psychological.
But the functionality of a huge dick is questionable. What would be ideal is a cock that LOOKS HUGE but really is more practical when it comes to the actual ass-fucking!

Also something you may want to note is that for some kinky femdom couples, strap on play is also oral. As much as I love to fuck a man in the ass, making him suck my dick is really a turn on - and in that case, I look for different types of "cocks."

Hope this helps!
Akasha

I would tend to agree with you Akasha. What I like is that my "strap" permits me to interchange cocks. That is a very useful part.

One thing I'd like to try soon is Midori's Dildo Harness w/ Scarves.

- LA

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 3:43:23 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

My Lady and I prefer the double-ended Nexxus with the Terra Firma harness.

Looks like a lovely combo!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 1/19/2010 3:45:19 PM >

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 6:01:07 PM

SthrnCom4t

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I've used both the Nexus and the Feeldoe. I like the larger Nexus with a harness because it gives me wonderful sensations. IMO, an even better model would have even 'more bend and some ribs' for Her side, and be a bit smaller in diameter, but longer on his side. The Feeldoe was fun if I was lying on my back with him riding me, but without a harness, I had a hard time using it 'hands free' when I was driving.

And yes, I do think of it as 'My cock'. As mentioned above, oral worship of it, is quite a turn-on.

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 6:07:56 PM

Drifa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa
My Lady and I prefer the double-ended Nexxus with the Terra Firma harness.

Looks like a lovely combo!
- LA

You *can* use a Nexxus without the harness, but it's not truly hands free if you do. And the Terra Firma is probably the best control I've found in a harness, so it's giving you a more natural motion and you can pay attention to what you are doing rather than the gear.

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RE: Does strap-on size matter? (Serious question) - 1/19/2010 6:21:01 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa
My Lady and I prefer the double-ended Nexxus with the Terra Firma harness.

Looks like a lovely combo!
- LA

You *can* use a Nexxus without the harness, but it's not truly hands free if you do. And the Terra Firma is probably the best control I've found in a harness, so it's giving you a more natural motion and you can pay attention to what you are doing rather than the gear.

I much prefer a harness. And I actually like the harness I have now but I'm not sure it would work with the Nexxus though. Oh well, looks like I might go cock shopping soon ;-)

- LA

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