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Mercnbeth -> RE: Since i don't have these things (1/21/2010 8:20:13 AM)
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~ Fast Relevant Experience ~
We have a written document. Calling it a 'contract' would be the same as calling beth a 'slave'. Both are labels outside the literal meaning of the words; however within the 'community' (also out of its literal context) the labels provide shortcut reference points. In that context, I'll continue to use the shortcuts.
Our contract is a document which defined where we were, what we each could rely upon from the other, and where we hoped to go. Reading it daily was the first 'ritual' (can be used literally) assigned to beth. The process was amazing and, in our opinion, fundamental to our relationship, contributing to its longevity. We don't read it daily anymore, but it still has a predominant place of display in our home. Some of the details at this point are silly, some irrelevant to how and where we live now, some still left to experience; but the essential aspects, our daily interaction, rules of behavior, dress, have been followed and continue to guide us. We wrote it, better put compiled and wrote it since we both used some outside resources and examples along with our own thoughts, so the reality is we guide us, The contract doesn't define us - we define the contract. For us, it is a sexy, romantic, emotion stirring, document that every time we read it - makes us smile.
Testing? I did 'test' beth. A quick test accomplished in the first hour we met. I bought the first round of drinks we shared. The appropriateness of drinking at the first meeting can be debated on another thread. beth bought the second round. That was the 'test'. It's a character test I've used forever when meeting anyone for business or friendship. I don't know if it proves anything but, for me, it benchmarks whether a person is cheap and/or feels entitled. In my experience that 'test' result has been representative of future interaction.
Did beth 'test' me? I thought she did. Leaving the bar in her neighborhood, she took me to a very remote and secluded canyon. I told her that she should be more cautious. We only knew each other less than 1/2 hour and how did she know I wasn't a psychopathic, sadistic, rapist? When she replied, "How do you know I'm not?" - I think both of us thought all the 'tests' were over.
This is our experience.
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