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DemonKia -> RE: What do you count as experience? (1/18/2010 2:33:43 AM)
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I kinda tend to brag about my lack of experience more than the other way, but that tends to come from my generalized, acquired skill at 'spinning my weaknesses'. I like the re-framing thing & it's so often fun to practice.
Which explains somethin' about how, after I finished jumpin' up & down at an equation, I got such a kinda silly answer to CalifChick's formula: a smidge over 28 years. But that's cuz I only claim to have 3 years of bein' in the out-&-organized kink community & gettin' any kind o' regular practice at whackin' people & etc . . .. .
On the other hand, yes, that question of what all counts as experience for what, yep, that's crucial.
For instance, I've been a mom for over a quarter century, now, & that's enormously useful experience for all kinds of stuff, tho' hard to translate into, say, resume terms, lol .. . . . But specific sadomasochistic or bondage topping skills, that's a whole other level of specificity. Somebody who wants to play with needles, yeah, well, me, personally, I go take classes. & practice my skills when I can. &, in theory, would take advantage of reasonable opportunity to be 'mentored' or for one-on-one teaching chances & etc . .. . .
& there's a whole big level of 'it all depends'. I've been a self-hurting, self-binding, masturbating sex freak for a longer period of time than TOS would technically allow me to disclose, lol . . . & that does have relevance, for me & for some of the bottoms I've played with (initially).
& if I'm gonna, say, needle top someone, I fully disclose -- I've taken some classes, I've put needles in a half dozen or so people, I do okay at it, no claim to being anything special -- & I only do it with reasonably experienced masochists who know something about what they want. In other words, that communication thing that others have referenced in this thread.
& my emphasis is on safety, going slowly, staying comfortable. I introduce people to being tied up with body harnesses & no movement restriction. Then they get the sensation & aesthetic effects in a relatively safe manner, that sorta thing. I've done that enough that I can demonstrate my skills in about 5 or 10 minutes & people can judge for themselves where I am as a rigger. lol
I've never had any lack of volunteers for 'crash test bottoms', & I do refer to it that way. I do also like to go to play parties & be a 'service top', it's great for getting 'experienced', but just as importantly it let's others see & decide for themselves who I am & what I do & so on & so forth . . .. .
I guess it's not too surprising, then, that I don't put much credence in the numbers someone puts on an online profile or forum or whatever, or whether they call themselves 'experienced' or not . . . . If anything, yeah, that posturing thing can even be a pink-ish-leaning flag . . . ..
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