This years theme is CHEATING

This years theme is CHEATING (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 2:28:04 AM)
This has been my experience over Christmas and the New Year: that this year's theme is cheating. An (otherwise) intelligent man who 'forgets' to state he is poly? Forgets he has another sub who announces herself as his monogamous one. A beautiful girl...according to the pictures she sent....who turns out to be a man. A dashing young Master who 'forgets' he has a vanilla girlfriend asleep in the room nect door. A creative writer who apologises about there being a zilch chance of meeting because 'whoops' he forgot to state he was married on his profile. I amscure these four experiebces of mine wasting time over the holiday season are not about me in partucular. A dear friend in the bdsm community has suggested in part that, given my online persona, that many men would feel the need to lie in order to get close to me. But I just think that cheating is the flavour of now. I used to be able to actually trust even a aol chat room....in most the answers to asl? turned out to be for real. IM's that went to web cam used to (about 6 years ago I'm suggesting) actually be the one and the same person, run for hours and without the risk of a forgotten partner stumbling into shot. I think the fact that one CAN cheat, the possibility of being anyone one wants to be and the invasion of 'second-life' mentalities have made it not only possible for indeed highly desireable for many to use social networking as a means of livng an entire pretence. It's the most prevalebt within the bdsm scene. Has cheating become acceptable?

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 2:43:59 AM)
Cheating is only acceptable if you accept cheating. I do not now, nor do I have any future plans of accepting cheating. You notice the volume increase because more and more people have access to computers, laptops, internet capable phones, etc. When more people gain access, you inevitably run across more of the undesirables. I don't think there is an actual increase in the numbers of people cheating (I may be wrong), I just think there are more options available for those who would cheat anyway.

Prinsexx -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 2:48:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz Cheating is only acceptable if you accept cheating. I do not now, nor do I have any future plans of accepting cheating. I usually block and delete once they have 'confessed'.

cpK69 -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 3:07:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Has cheating become acceptable? According to my observations, cheating is acceptable, and has been for a good amount of time. What I find interesting is that so many condemn one kind, but condone another. Kim

DesFIP -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 4:11:28 AM)
Re your poly example. Just because she's monogamous, doesn't mean he is. She may not want to be active with anyone other than him yet be fine with him having multiples.

Drifa -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 6:25:54 AM)
I think a big part of the problem is that so many young college students are home for the holidays during the Christmas to New Years period, and they're young and want what they want and aren't really there for a relationship, they wanna wank. I would consign them all to the roaring fires of eventual karma, and see what the New Year actually brings now that all the children have gone back to school.

Prinsexx -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 8:11:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Has cheating become acceptable? According to my observations, cheating is acceptable, and has been for a good amount of time. What I find interesting is that so many condemn one kind, but condone another. Kim I think you are right. It was probably just in my head that I thiught cheating had negative connotations.

Prinsexx -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 8:13:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa I think a big part of the problem is that so many young college students are home for the holidays during the Christmas to New Years period, and they're young and want what they want and aren't really there for a relationship, they wanna wank. I would consign them all to the roaring fires of eventual karma, and see what the New Year actually brings now that all the children have gone back to school. I love your phrase on karma. I wish 'd thoght of it.

Prinsexx -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 8:15:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Re your poly example. Just because she's monogamous, doesn't mean he is. She may not want to be active with anyone other than him yet be fine with him having multiples. Yes I think that was the case. No fault of hers. But his omission was a weapn definitely used against me. Some cheating isn't used as a weapon consciously. It's just used for arousal purposes. But ultimately someone always gets hurt.

sub4hire -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 8:16:40 AM)
Cheating is only acceptable if both parties consent. Look at Tiger Woods..was his cheating acceptable? Myself, I believe in a monogamous relationship. Doesn't matter what bond I have with anyone if they crossed over that line it would not be acceptable to me.

cpK69 -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/11/2010 10:33:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Has cheating become acceptable? According to my observations, cheating is acceptable, and has been for a good amount of time. What I find interesting is that so many condemn one kind, but condone another. Kim I think you are right. It was probably just in my head that I thiught cheating had negative connotations. It appears you missed my point. Life is a lesson. quote: I amscure these four experiebces of mine wasting time over the holiday season are not about me in partucular. Here, you cheated yourself; don't seem to have learned a thing. Kim

DesFIP -> RE: This years theme is CHEATING (1/12/2010 5:32:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Re your poly example. Just because she's monogamous, doesn't mean he is. She may not want to be active with anyone other than him yet be fine with him having multiples. Yes I think that was the case. No fault of hers. But his omission was a weapn definitely used against me. Some cheating isn't used as a weapon consciously. It's just used for arousal purposes. But ultimately someone always gets hurt. Did you tell him you were looking for a monogamous relationship? If not, then you need to do so. Monogamy is my default, but other people have poly as a default. It is my responsibility to make my lines clear. If instead you just assumed, well you know what they say about assume.

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