CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008 Status: offline
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As someone who's spent a bit of time in the Intentional Community arena, I can tell you that this has a good chance of working. The process will need to include clear definitions of what the household will provide and what it won't (examples: "We will provide a safe, open-minded place for you to practice your kink, but we -won't- provide you with a Master/Dominant/Mistress/submissive/slave/servant to participate with you -- companions are -your- responsibility."; "Guests will be expected to meet certain standards of behavior and discretion within the household".; "We provide living space, common space, and one common meal per day, as well as use of the kitchen... you are responsible for your own food for any meals you take on your own. Your one common meal per day is included in your rent."; "Utilities [gas, electric, water, trash] are $____ per month per person. Extras like phone, high-speed internet, or cable are your own responsibility") or whatever the rules are that you've decided are going to be your foundation). The other thing you'll need to be aware of is that a household like this, depending on how its set up, may have quite a few 'transitional' participants -- sure, some folks will stay for years and may start to feel like a 'family of choice', but there are going to be some who come to try it out and find out that it isn't their cup of tea, so to speak. Unless you're prepared for this (and for the people who will move in, break things, not pay their rent, steal other tenants' food or belongings and all the other unpleasant things that can come along as part of a communal household), it can come as quite a shock, not only to you, but to others who sign on as well. Also, because one of the focuses of this community is going to be something that is -very- broadly defined (kink), and where people tend to become rather judgmental where other peoples' practices are concerned, regardless of what they do themselves, there are bound to be some instances where people are going to get their panties in a bunch about how someone else practices hir kink, and who won't feel capable of leaving well enough alone and living-and-letting-live. The first decade of a household like this is fraught with such challenges. It's not as easy as it seems (take it from someone who has built alternative communities for nearly 30 years!) -- it is definitely worth the effort, in my opinion, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat (in fact, am preparing to do so, not with a fetish community but with a philosophical/artist's community in just a few months)... but it takes more than a little good planning and a lot of forethought and good preparation, as well as a lot of stick-to-it-when-things-go-in-the-crapper-ness to get you through the initial stages and into the period where things turn more smooth than rocky. Calla
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*** Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!" "Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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