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Rule -> RE: Faking being a woman or man (1/1/2010 6:22:02 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddyinNeed
There are a few fakes on here that contantly 'pretent' to be what they are not. This is bad for all our reputations and by ignoring it we acrually condone it which will in time kill the rooms off. What can we do about it?
My dear Opening Poster, the situation is far worse than you could possibly imagine in your weirdest dreams. You have grievously underestimated the 'ernst' of the problem: except for you and me, all of the posters in these forums and chatrooms and profiles on the other side are fakes!
As it so happens, I am the only genuine seven horned Flying Spaghetti Monster from Outer Space. These others are all triple breasted frogs and toads, yes even Moderator Five and Three Quarters, which in itself is sufficient evidence that they are fakes, as by definition only the female mammalia have breasts.
I know this because every time I ask someone to send me a picture of their dick or pussy to prove their gender, all I get is pictures of triple breasted frogs and toads.
I have also verified this in person various times. The other day I was approached by a nice slavegirl from Ghana who begged me to dominate her, being in need of a master. Old fart that I am, I was delighted and mailed her back asking for her phone number - and I got it! She proved to have a low, sensuous voice that caused the tendrils on my back to wriggle and turn purple. I immediately commanded the girl to kneel for me and she said she did. Joy! Both of us felt joy and she asserted that she was happy to have found a master. She did not object to me being the only genuine seven horned Flying Spaghetti Monster from Outer Space; she did not consider that to be a problem. She asked me to send her money so that she could translocate to me. I would have done so without the scarcest bit of hesitation, were it not for the fact that I was low on money, me being the only poor genuine seven horned Flying Spaghetti Monster from Outer Space. Therefore instead I determined to go to Ghana myself and to collect that slavegirl so that she might obey me forever in eternal bliss. Thusly I wriggled my Spaghetti tendrils and lifted off into the air and up into the higher reaches of the atmosphere to evade the various jetstreams that circle the Earth at lower altitudes. I experienced unfortunate hazards during that trip, I must tell you. First there was this huge, frozen North American spider that by some fluke of the air current collided with my warmly exerting body, thawed and bit one of my tendrils. I dropped that tendril and the spider rather quickly. Next I was hit by some icy and smelly waste from a passenger air jet. Then I was pursued by three Joint Strike Fighters. Happily, two of them collided when their pilots discerned me, and the third plane departed my vicinity rather hastily. Next I had to evade an intercontinental ballistic missile that some oaf in the United States fired at me.
Finally, though, I arrived in Ghana, descended and found my slavegirl. She was a triple breasted toad! You may imagine my disappointment. Here I had produced such an effort and undertaken an extremely perilous journey to find as my reward not an attractive, young Ghanan slavegirl, but a triple breasted toad! It got even worse, for she had thought me to be a fake as well. When I had told her that I was a genuine seven horned Flying Spaghetti Monster from Outer Space, she had disbelieved me. As soon as she saw that I was not a fake, as soon as she saw that I had told the truth, that I truly was a genuine seven horned Flying Spaghetti Monster from Outer Space, she started to scream and ran away and disappeared into the jungle. It was an incredible blow to my self-esteem and confidence. I was miserable for weeks and it took three teams of psychologists nearly five hundred hours to bolster my hurt soul. I still do not know how I got home.
I have had various such experiences and in every case when I met CM-people in person, they proved to be either triple breasted frogs or triple breasted toads.
As I said, Moderator Five and Three Quarters is a triple breasted toad himself. I know this because when I approached him with the request that he ban all triple breasted frogs and toads, he admitted that he was such a toad himself. Ever since I have not bothered to complain about the fakes on Collar Me any more. It simply serves no purpose.
I wish you the best. And please send me a picture of your dick in order to prove that you are not a fake. (With a signed police witness statement that it is indeed your dick attached, please.)
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