RE: Dear Dominants

RE: Dear Dominants (Full Version)

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/29/2009 9:47:16 PM)
I wonder how well a male sub misogynist and a Domme that's a female supremist would fair together at the next MTV VMA awards? Ummmm... imagine there's no heaven, no hell below us.. blah blah blah.. I wonder if I can download a copy of Redneck Rampage and blast some chickens tonight. For the most part i tend to stick to the Main Board for BDSM topics, in regards to sexism, it's of many slices of life. As my Aunt used to say, it takes all kinds of people to make the world the interesting place it is. If everybody was the same imagine how boring things would be.

Rule -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/29/2009 9:58:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella personally I think a better reworking would be to make it into 2 different boards - ask a sub, and ask a slave. The slave dynamic is so different from the sub dynamic, and it leads to people asking questions like "should a sub/slave have no limits" which just makes me go WTF - are you asking about a SUB or are you asking about a SLAVE? Cuz at least for me the answer would be different. I second that! (Do note the exclamation mark.)

chiaThePet -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/29/2009 9:58:47 PM)
Then of course there is the innocent stumbling upon a group you had no intention of entering. Like the day I was in search of information about designing switches from Hemlock tree branches. It was quite the interesting afternoon of discussion within the ranks of the Hermaphrodite Switches Forum. I love the exploring. Gives all those voices in my head time to pick a number and form a crooked line. chia* (the pet)

DrkJourney -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/29/2009 10:09:26 PM)
Hmmm...good question. I think it would be good to have an "Ask a Dominant" type section to include a more well rounded answer. Me, myself, I never look at what section I'm posting on, and I don't cruise the boards, I'll usually just be going through email or whatever and see a topic roll up at the left, and just respond. But I do know some that won't comment because they are not in the role that the section is addressed to....which is sad a lot of good answers/solutions might be missed that way

Reform -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/29/2009 11:04:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear We all can learn something regardless of the gender of the person who posted a query. or the gender of the the person who answers ;) I read and post on all the boards. I use it as a learning tool to read others ideas and thoughts. If I limited myself, I'd be limiting my intake of knowledge. It seems to make sense to me that a Dominants board might be a neat adjustment, but it makes no difference to me as I tread everywhere anyway.

DesFIP -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 7:04:39 AM)
I think people just don't think outside the box. I get lazy and simply use pronouns that reflect the relationship I'm in, male dom/female sub. If English had a gender neutral pronoun more questions and replies wouldn't addressed from the viewpoint of the person typing.

LaTigresse -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 9:06:34 AM)
It is a curious question........s types no gender specific but D and M types there are. I quit paying any attention to categories and post where ever there is something that interests me. The funny part of that is that, the Mistress section usually has the least appeal. That is the one section that seems to have the most focus on male genitalia. If anything, it is more of a male s-type section most days. How a woman serves a kinky male bottom by cloaking it in a passive aggressive, ask a mistress, costume. Something that I have no interest in.

trealeon -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 9:57:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth it's rather curious isn't it? the "Ask a switch" or "Ask a submissive/slave" sections aren't specific to gender...perhaps the folks that set up this site are of the mind that gender matters only if it's from a dominant's perspective? I've always wondered why that was. That the "Master' and "Mistress" boards were separate but there is just one "Ask a Sub/Slave" board. I always assumed that there was some intelligence behind the design that I just wasn't privy to and never really questioned it as it's not my site :)

AquaticSub -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 10:35:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'm wondering about how other folks feel about this? Do you find that many of the topics posted to one gender board or another, would have been better suited to the main board where both would more likely be heard? In writing either questions or replies on CM, how seriously do you take the gender guidelines of the Master/Mistress boards? I completely agree. In my years on the board, I've also seen questions answered best by the groups that the poster actively didn't want to answer. I take the guidelines on the boards as simply that - guidelines. I still read the threads I'm interested in, wherever they are on the boards, and I post where I have something to say.

AquaticSub -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 10:39:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan In some ways, I wish more people would restrict themselves (or be forcibly restricted) to the boards designated for their biological sex and d/s status because then, if I were looking for a specific POV, I would know where to go and wouldn't have to wade through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat. But then those of us who are allowed to post their owner's opinions for them wouldn't be able to. While Valyraen is (or was) peeking his head onto the forums more frequently, they still aren't his "thing" as much as they are mine. I know his mind almost frighteningly well and I have his blessing to answer for him if I feel I know the answer. So far, I haven't been wrong in how I've presented his views.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 10:51:41 AM)
~ Fast Consideration ~ Realized I never considered the situation before. Strange, but I can recall posting in the 'Mistress' forum a couple of time, both with an opening disclaimer saying that I hoped that the Mistresses wouldn't mind. Never had any similar thoughts posting in the submissive's thread. It's like going through a woman's purse. Men don't really know what's in there and most don't want to find out. Maybe I really was indoctrinated by the 'Old Guard' in NYC under hypnosis, and it's a subliminal case of respecting gender set boundaries. Even in a deserted park I'll use the 'mens' room for the same reason - given a choice I'll go to the appropriately labeled door. Unless there is also a handicapped door choice then, because those are always cleaner and bigger, I pick that door! I don't think without a gender choice I would have noticed. But now that you mention it...

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 11:13:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'm wondering about how other folks feel about this? Do you find that many of the topics posted to one gender board or another, would have been better suited to the main board where both would more likely be heard? In writing either questions or replies on CM, how seriously do you take the gender guidelines of the Master/Mistress boards? Master is definitely not a gender specific term, and there are people who don't fit into (or at all appreciate) the idea of a gender binary. If you want a male board or a female board, you need to specify that.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 11:26:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan In some ways, I wish more people would restrict themselves (or be forcibly restricted) to the boards designated for their biological sex and d/s status because then, if I were looking for a specific POV, I would know where to go and wouldn't have to wade through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat. But then those of us who are allowed to post their owner's opinions for them wouldn't be able to. While Valyraen is (or was) peeking his head onto the forums more frequently, they still aren't his "thing" as much as they are mine. I know his mind almost frighteningly well and I have his blessing to answer for him if I feel I know the answer. So far, I haven't been wrong in how I've presented his views. Fair enough. However, there's always CMail as a loophole around that. In point of fact, I've always suspected that the best answers I've received to any question I've asked have come in the form of a private, off-the-boards message. Especially because those replies have, in many cases, led to an ongoing dialogue that gave me a meatier answer than anything the boards had to offer. But that's just me. YMMV.

LadyPact -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 12:09:05 PM)
I do want to thank everyone for offering their opinions. I can promise that I'm not waving the 'change the site' flag. A computer twit like Myself would tend to think that would be one heck of a lot of work. LOL. A few things that folks brought up make Me think about this even further. If the genders have specific issues that only apply to them, wouldn't it be thought that would be true of the other side of the kneel as well? Maybe that's why we have our fantastic regulars that pretty much hang out with the Mistress section. (Pretty good bunch of guys, actually.) It could also be that they don't feel particularly addressed in the submissive section that covers both genders. Aqua, I think you have a very valid point there about when we know the person on the other side of the kneel that well. I have every confidence that there are people right here on this thread that know how the other person in their dynamic feels on certain issues. I think the same could be said when folks have had more than one long term D/s or M/s dynamic. More info based on multiple experiences with different partners. Very interesting to think about.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 9:40:49 PM)
I have ended up in a stalemate on this issue. I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such. What gets to me is that the Feminist / Maleist - Dom / sub bullshit of "I'm Important you need my opinion on this otherwise you're an asshole is just fucking retarded. If you don't want my opinion fine, however if you ask a question I want to answer I'm gunna answer but I'm not going to make excuses for it. In my opinion if someone wants a Dominant view and not a submissive one and they ask for it that is fine it is what they want and they are asking for what they want. If someone else answers that question who the fuck cares, but what I see here is that more importantly than giving their input I see, these people bet berated and verbally abused for bothing to want a specific questions, their question, answered by a specific demographic. A wise man speaks when he has something to say, A fool speaks because he has to say something. Most of the time I see foolish people bent on their of self importance that they are so arrogant to believe that their opinion should supercede the desired results the person asking the question was looking for. I don't think the site needs to change I think a lot of people here could look at themselves and realize they are just people who have an opinion and theirs is no more important than anyone elses. That's how I feel anyway. QSM

AquaticSub -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 9:43:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan Fair enough. However, there's always CMail as a loophole around that. In point of fact, I've always suspected that the best answers I've received to any question I've asked have come in the form of a private, off-the-boards message. Especially because those replies have, in many cases, led to an ongoing dialogue that gave me a meatier answer than anything the boards had to offer. But that's just me. YMMV. Given the restrictions and requirements that many people have on their private mail (only X gender between Y and Z ages will even show up or be read, etc) I honestly don't bother to privately message people unless we are already friendly or I really feel my message needs to be private.

WyldHrt -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 10:39:00 PM)
quote: I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such. While this might be true if you were the only one reading the responses, the fact is that many people are reading them. While the OP might want answers from a certain demographic, others reading might appreciate or be helped by responses from another perspective. IMO, this is the reason that threads do not belong to the OP, but the forum. ETA- corrected awkward sentence structure

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 10:58:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such. While this might be true if you were the only one reading the responses, the fact is that many people are reading them. While the OP might want answers from a certain demographic, others reading might appreciate or be helped by responses from another perspective. IMO, this is the reason that threads do not belong to the OP, but the forum. ETA- corrected awkward sentence structure And this is why later on I said I could care less who answers, the problem is when the person posting is more interested in discussing their right to answer rather than actually answering the question. And regarless of the people reading and who the thread belongs to there is the purpose of topic. Where as the topic may belong to the forum the resposibility of the people posting is to remain on topic. When a thread asks for a specific demographic that responce pool has valid results when it is maintained. People might learn a little more when they see how a specific demographic answers a specific question rather than diluting the topic with a gender right fueled "I'm >Blank< and my answer is more important than respecting the specific questions asked by the original poster" In addition to that as you have pointed out this is a forum, and because of that all you have to do is start a new thread asking the same question and inviting all gender and power dynamic roles to join in answering, but the Topic point was to ask a specific question to a specific group of people. QSM

chiaThePet -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 11:04:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan I have ended up in a stalemate on this issue. if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer If you don't want my opinion fine, however if you ask a question I want to answer I'm gunna answer A wise man speaks when he has something to say, A fool speaks because he has to say something. Nice to meet the two of you. chia* (the pet)

rachel529 -> RE: Dear Dominants (12/30/2009 11:30:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 blah blah blah.. I wonder if I can download a copy of Redneck Rampage and blast some chickens tonight. redneck rampage is awesome! quote: ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan ...the topic may belong to the forum the resposibility of the people posting is to remain on topic. sorry. but redneck rampage is awesome!

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