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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 6:43:27 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

It's not like I was actively avoiding being a sub, I just didn't know anything about it. 


zakly, but even after awaking some try to suppress it


I feel sorry for them.  When I realized what submissive meant and that I am one, it felt like I had "come home."  I went  for it wholeheartedly and haven't looked back since. 


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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 6:50:52 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
the question is often asked when did you decide to be a dom/slave
I've always had a dominant personality. Carol has always had a submissive personality. That was true long before we were introduced to BDSM and got words and concepts for it. But for the first 10 years of our marriage, I'd bought the party line and was trying to seek parity in our relationship. When we ran into BDSM (online, no less), it was like a lightbulb coming on! You mean we could actually go ahead and be ourselves and do so in a healthy and mutually supportive way? *palms face*

So while we've always been who we are, we didn't really do anything resembling overt D/s in our relationship until about 3 years ago.


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:29:39 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

the question is often asked when did you decide to be a dom/slave

as i always have a different take on things such as the early worm gets eaten, i turned the question around and it becomes, when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

i'd like to hear other opinions


I never chose to be a slave.

(Couldn't go there).

I chose to be sub.

It made sense to me. I like it. It feels good. It feels normal.

Wuhnahful stuff :)

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:31:38 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

the question is often asked when did you decide to be a dom/slave

as i always have a different take on things such as the early worm gets eaten, i turned the question around and it becomes, when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

i'd like to hear other opinions


I never chose to be a slave.

(Couldn't go there).

I chose to be sub.

It made sense to me. I like it. It feels good. It feels normal.

Wuhnahful stuff :)



i don't make an issue over the difference between sub/slave

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 11:17:42 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		There wasn't a "when did I decide to be dominant". There was, however, a moment when I had to openly realize/accept my natural dominant tendencies and decide whether or not to embrace them and, thereafter, gear my partnership directions to places where I'd find potential partners more likely to match up with them. That part has solidified in the last couple of years.


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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 6:18:30 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

There wasn't a "when did I decide to be dominant". There was, however, a moment when I had to openly realize/accept my natural dominant tendencies and decide whether or not to embrace them and, thereafter, gear my partnership directions to places where I'd find potential partners more likely to match up with them. That part has solidified in the last couple of years.



for me it wasn't a ah ha moment but rather a process over some time

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 9:48:55 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think you decide, I think you discover.

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(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 10:09:31 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't think you decide, I think you discover.


yes

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 11:58:34 AM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

as i always have a different take on things such as the early worm gets eaten, i turned the question around and it becomes, when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

i'd like to hear other opinions


That would be about 4 1/2 years ago. I'd had relationships that included bedroom BDSM, but it was only after I encountered someone from my past who was actually in the lifestyle I decided Dominance has to be a real part of my life.

Fotunately, I found my perfect submissive love about two years ago!

(Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
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With the deviant ingredient
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(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 1:18:08 PM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		I have always been submissive, discovered WIITWD about 5 years ago, when I was 17. I don't remember deciding anything, just feeling a massive sense of relief that I had found a real life person with a sexuality I could identify with. And I don't think I was ever vanilla, I was a virgin with kinky fantasies, then I was kinky.


(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 1:53:29 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't decide, It's always been my nature to submit. I just never knew until about 12 years ago that my internal urges had a name, and that "normal" people really did this.

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(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 2:07:13 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

I didn't decide, It's always been my nature to submit. I just never knew until about 12 years ago that my internal urges had a name, and that "normal" people really did this.


let's keep it just amongst us perverts and leave the normal folks out

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 2:24:07 PM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever And I don't think I was ever vanilla, I was a virgin with kinky fantasies, then I was kinky.
And then I realized that not everyone shared the same kinks as me. After a few "You want me to do WHAT to your WHERE??!," I realized that very few people had a sense of adventure.

(in reply to afterforever)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 2:29:06 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever And I don't think I was ever vanilla, I was a virgin with kinky fantasies, then I was kinky.


And then I realized that not everyone shared the same kinks as me. After a few "You want me to do WHAT to your WHERE??!," I realized that very few people had a sense of adventure.


i get season tickets to Great Adventure

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Dominasola)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 2:57:16 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I've never *felt* like a sub or slave, it's not *who I am* nor is it my nature.......so really it was down to deciding if I wanted to live as an owned person or not. That was roughly 5 yrs ago, officially.

agirl

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 2:59:29 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I've never *felt* like a sub or slave, it's not *who I am* nor is it my nature.......so really it was down to deciding if I wanted to live as an owned person or not. That was roughly 5 yrs ago, officially.

agirl



if i'm understanding that you don't feel like a submissive, then why would you want to be owned?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 3:54:13 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I've never *felt* like a sub or slave, it's not *who I am* nor is it my nature.......so really it was down to deciding if I wanted to live as an owned person or not. That was roughly 5 yrs ago, officially.

agirl



if i'm understanding that you don't feel like a submissive, then why would you want to be owned?


I met someone years ago who made it an attractive prospect and the option of being in a relationship with him NOT as *owned* wasn't there.

agirl



(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 3:59:01 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I've never *felt* like a sub or slave, it's not *who I am* nor is it my nature.......so really it was down to deciding if I wanted to live as an owned person or not. That was roughly 5 yrs ago, officially.

agirl



if i'm understanding that you don't feel like a submissive, then why would you want to be owned?


I met someone years ago who made it an attractive prospect and the option of being in a relationship with him NOT as *owned* wasn't there.

agirl





if it works go for it

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 4:22:10 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I've never *felt* like a sub or slave, it's not *who I am* nor is it my nature.......so really it was down to deciding if I wanted to live as an owned person or not. That was roughly 5 yrs ago, officially.

agirl



if i'm understanding that you don't feel like a submissive, then why would you want to be owned?


I met someone years ago who made it an attractive prospect and the option of being in a relationship with him NOT as *owned* wasn't there.

agirl





if it works go for it


I did......and have been owned ever since....contentedly so.

agirl

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: when did you decide - 12/24/2009 5:15:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I never decided. I have always been attracted to dominant personality men. Culturally I grew up in a place where men are head of the household, their word is the last word and their wives submit to them..ya know..traditional relationships. It's all I've ever known. It's what I feel comfortable in.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 80
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