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Public and Private Humiliation - 12/22/2009 11:50:39 AM

dragonmasternsub

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Greetings to all. I have a slave that has asked me to start her into public humiliation and private humiliation. I am seeking all your help on ideas of what I can do for her. I thank everyone for there input and help.

Draco

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/22/2009 1:16:06 PM

AquaticSub

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Define public. A lot of people in the lifestyle tend to be very wary of public as it can mean involving those who haven't consented to be part of a scene.

However, you can do things like contact a local play group and ask if it's all right to have her serve as furniture. Maybe hold up a bowl of chips or something for an hour. Ask her what she considers humilating, both what would truly demean her and what would humilate and arouse her at the same time. Work from there.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/22/2009 1:27:18 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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~FR~

Use the search feature, keyword "humiliation." There are some really good threads in the archives. I found them extremely useful when I was researching humiliation. You might try using the keywords "tasks" and "assignments" to search for threads. While the tasks/assignments discussions won't necessarily be humiliating, they may spark your creativity. You should also invest some time in talking to your slave about what she considers humiliating. Take notes. What works for someone else won't necessarily work for her.

As for the public side, I strongly advise you not to do anything obvious in a public setting such as the local mall. It's generally considered bad form to do anything that could be witnessed by minors. Reserve your public play for the fetish club. Alternately, you could made videos of her doing humiliating things and post them on Clips4Sale or a similar website. Knowing random strangers are getting their jollies by watching her do whatever you have her do might be public enough to fulfill her desire.

*Edited for typos

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 12/22/2009 1:29:11 PM >

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:15:29 AM

gentlemanprince

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I draw a big distinction between humiliation and embarrassment. To be humiliation has the effect of tearing down or degrading the submissive and has a mean tone to it. I don't enjoy it because I think highly of myself (with property modesty, of course) and want a Domme to think of me that way. One the other hand, embarrassment is part of the game, another way for the dominant to exercise control. It is uplifing for both the dominant and the submissive.

What is it that your submissive wants. If it is the former, you might think about why she wants it. If it is the latter, go for it!

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:28:41 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

Define public. A lot of people in the lifestyle tend to be very wary of public as it can mean involving those who haven't consented to be part of a scene.

AquaticSub raises a very important point here. If you are imposing your kink on others, then you are being non-consensual, which is absolutely not cool! If you get off on public humiliation, you might want to go to a kinky play party and see if anyone is interested in watching you humiliate her.

As for humiliation play, I always like to have an open and honest conversation about this before getting into it because it's more difficult to know when you are getting near a breaking point.

With a cane for example, I can see the skin getting red, welting, getting redder... essentially, I can tell if I'm getting close to breaking skin. But with humiliation, that breaking point isn't as obvious. And whether you chose or not to go past that breaking point is a decision you have to come to together, but you still need to know where you are in her mind at all times.

Play safe :-)

- LA

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:34:03 AM

HumiliatedOinker

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Regarding Humiliation much should thoroughly be discussed, also what type of humiliation should be involved. Also make sure she knows the difference between Humiliation, Degradation, and what she is expecting. In my opinion to be degraded is different than humiliation, degraded is to allow myself be reduced into something less than I am for example a object or a pet, while when humiliated its more like an act for example particularly weight gain humiliation that I am into when humiliated for my weight. I also see a majority of people tend to be into sexual objectification particularly when degrading one into a sex object and treating them as such, communication and planning ahead is important, being both of you may have different ideas when thinking of private and public humiliation.

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:34:43 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dragonmasternsub

Greetings to all. I have a slave that has asked me to start her into public humiliation and private humiliation. I am seeking all your help on ideas of what I can do for her. I thank everyone for there input and help.

Draco

To me humiliation is a very bad idea. Just my....

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:36:59 AM

AquaticSub

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Remember that some of us like it.

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:41:49 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Remember that some of us like it.

Geez.... Which is EXACTLY why i said TO ME.......and MY 2 cents. i even highlighted and bolded the "to me" and the word "my" so everyone would know i was speaking for myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
To me humiliation is a very bad idea. Just my....

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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candy posts in pink font

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 8:57:10 AM

osf

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try things, observe, modify, try again

you'll get there

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 9:07:44 AM

BlueHnS

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Humiliation is very subjective. It all depends on where ones mind is, what is or is not ... humiliating. If your partner is really into exhibition then I dare say telling them to walk around nude in front others will be much of a challenge or chore for them. I'm sure theres a whole checklist of things that have tripped other people's triggers. It may be a good starting point for discussion.

Give yourself permission to go slow, at first. Tripping around inside someones head will not give you the same tell tale indicators as a blade to flesh, and those things we carry inside sometimes do not heal well even when we do put a smiley face bandage on it.

And yes, as others have pointed out, please do remember that not all public wants to join in your fun and games.

~ Blue ~

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Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 9:32:33 AM

LadyPact

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Nobody can answer this question for you. I could give you ideas all day long and it doesn't necessarily mean that they will work for your s type. Only she knows what she finds humiliating. Not any of us.

I'm afraid this is one of those areas where YOU as the Dominant have to put some work in. Even if it is just spouting out the ideas that other people have come up with for you back to her and see her reaction.

I'd grumble something about lack of originality and imagination, but since it's the holidays, I'll just wish you a happy season.

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 10:27:23 AM

BlueHnS

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If your partner is really into exhibition then I dare say telling them to walk around nude in front others will NOT be much of a challenge or chore for them.

It probably makes more sense if I put all the words in the sentence ...

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Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

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RE: Public and Private Humiliation - 12/24/2009 6:48:55 PM

JJohnsJR24

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_167419/mpage_4/tm.htm

This is my favorite thread from this board involving all humiliation talk and ideas. You will see a nice long list of decent ideas from Sf-sub as the first post when you click on this link.

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