RE: just such a funny thing has happened.

RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (Full Version)

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DomImus -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/15/2009 3:20:06 PM)
That is a wild coincidence. Maybe it will turn into a serendipitous coincidence. Season 4 of Dexter just ended. He doesn't look like John Lithgow, does he? [:D]

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 12:35:48 AM)
thanks peeps. sensible head kicked in last night. i dont want nilla. its not the bdsm stuff so much as the fact that a Dom knows how a sub ticks. but, ... it does all seem a bit serendipidussy kitmus like. anyway, im going in a mo. and no he doesnt look like john lithgow lol [:)] - he doesnt really look like anyone famous, so far as i can remember and thanks for the giggle persy - hugs. xx to everyone youre all so great, like one big happy family xxx

wandersalone -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 12:39:33 AM)
come and report back the MINUTE you get home Lally!!!!!!!! [:)]

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 4:42:56 AM)
we're going for a drink tonight. [:D]

DesFIP -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 4:44:35 AM)
Awesome! Maybe now is the right time and then wasn't.

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 4:54:13 AM)
yes, cept if he's vanilla .....?? - funny, i read threads about that and thought, why the hell would anyone go with a vanilla? - and then try to change them into this, you cant. its either in them or it isnt.

DesFIP -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 5:52:32 AM)
But he's hitting your radar as dominant. Doesn't mean he's kinky but he is dominant. So you can start with that and talk to him about how you prefer a strong man who takes charge and see his reaction. Do you need kink? Or would dominance alone be enough?

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 5:58:42 AM)
no i dont need kink but i do need to be understood as a submissive type. theres so much more, as you know to being a sub than just the kink, the kink are the activities, its the whole psychology of a man knowing that an action, word, expression, expectation puts me in that place of feeling settled within myself. its what separates vanilla and this totally for me and that is important. its the knowing that he has that effect on me and i need to have that going on. the perfect thing is that he is just around the corner from me. he is a very dominant personality and maybe just in that he likes to have his women under his control generally. maybe if it works out i can explain a little more to him. smile i rushed up to the house in a huge hurry, runing late as usual breathless and apologetic about being late and he stood there like the rock of gibralter and said 'jeeze woman, calm down!' - i had to laugh.

DesFIP -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 6:03:02 AM)
And that he doesn't look down on you for being submissive. That's the big thing for me, I find vanilla men enjoy the people pleasing but they disrespect you for doing so. A dominant man is more likely to appreciate a submissive woman and cherish her for so being. Without that, it's all take and no give and you will burn out. Anyway you're overinvesting in the date. Just go and see if you enjoy it enough to have a second one. If there is sufficient chemistry that you're deciding which of your hottest lingerie to wear, then that's the time to sit down and talk to him. The rule of thumb here is that if you can't talk to him about this, then you shouldn't be having sex with him.

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 6:05:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP And that he doesn't look down on you for being submissive. That's the big thing for me, I find vanilla men enjoy the people pleasing but they disrespect you for doing so. A dominant man is more likely to appreciate a submissive woman and cherish her for so being. Without that, it's all take and no give and you will burn out. Anyway you're overinvesting in the date. Just go and see if you enjoy it enough to have a second one. If there is sufficient chemistry that you're deciding which of your hottest lingerie to wear, then that's the time to sit down and talk to him. The rule of thumb here is that if you can't talk to him about this, then you shouldn't be having sex with him. absolutely! - you said it better than i could - thats exactly it. [:)]

persephonee -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 6:44:17 AM)
Oooooooh......perse needs an update.....STAT!!!!!! looksforpassport..........goin to the chapel and we're...gonna get.....clapshandovermouth[:D]

wisdomtogive -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/16/2009 7:02:41 AM)
sitting on pins and needles and need to hear how it goes:)

wandersalone -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 2:03:07 AM)
um Lally do you think he would mind if you took your computer and set up a webcam so we can all share in your drinks with him? Come on, we want to see how it goes

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 3:51:03 AM)
it went great. hes so easy to talk to and we just didnt stop talking the whole time. the mystery of him finding the wallet - i have, what he called my 'little shrine' in the wood and he was out walking with a girl (ho hum), his dog found it actually. apparently id left it there, except that i dont remember taking it out of my pocket. so - yes, we had a great evening, but... he mentioned this girl and im not the type to trample on another womans patch. so i kept things brisk as we parted and im guessing he mentioned her either to let me know he has someone around to let me know he isnt available or to let me know he isnt looking for anything too serious. he didnt say if they were an item but im guessing they are. in the end im ok with that. it was an amazing coincidence, all of it and im glad we met and i had a chance to explain properly why i turned him down because for some strange reason it had always niggled me. i sensed a reluctance in him to let me go without keeping some kind of contact and i felt the same. but neither of us mentioned it, so there was a reason for that. for me it was what Des and i were talking about futher up really. i am what i am and in the end theres no point pursuing someone who a) has a girl and b) wouldnt understand me. there were a oouple of moments where i felt myself pushing for some sort of Dom reasponse and im not like that normally - im sure some sort of unhealthy topping from the bottom thing would evolve - so..., in the end i have no idea what that was all about, why it all flared up. but im glad ive laid that ghost to rest at least. it wasnt meant to be ever - and at least ive confirmed to myself the difference between me and mainstream. it was an odd thing really - i felt the difference more acutely than ever. almost like we were a different species really (maybe we are) sounds really stupid doesnt it. but the connection of common understanding wasnt there. so sorry guys, a bit of a storm in a teacup really. i guess the coincidences and the past co-mingled to make it all seem a bit crazy and 'meant to be'. im not searching for a reason for why it happened, but i do feel better for having had that drink with him, finally. who knows, maybe some karmic thing has been laid to rest.

DesFIP -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 4:40:24 AM)
Sorry he isn't your One, but at least you can stop thinking what if in regards to him.

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 4:56:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Sorry he isn't your One, but at least you can stop thinking what if in regards to him. yes, and i have for a few years on and off. in a way it made me realise that we all have a few 'what ifs' in our past and almost always youll never know. its kinda soothing in a way to take a peek at something past and gone and realise that it just wasnt meant to be and if it had been it probably wouldnt have worked out. in our conversation it turned out he's been married and divorced twice and he didnt really have a good word to say about either of them. theres no hot water on his farm cos he cant be bothered to sort it out.. lol... and im thinking 'but i need hot water - thats a hard limit right there!' but i liked him for him and maybe ill call him in the new year for a drink just as friends. its funny its like we have a past but we dont. its very odd.

sunshinemiss -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 4:57:34 AM)
Lally, What this story said to me was how you had an opportunity and you took it. That is what the key is, in my mind. Live juice, darling, live juicy! sunshine

lally2 -> RE: just such a funny thing has happened. (12/17/2009 7:10:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Lally, What this story said to me was how you had an opportunity and you took it. That is what the key is, in my mind. Live juice, darling, live juicy! sunshine thats an excellent way to look at it - thanks. xx [:)] i maybe should be a little quieter about stuff though [&:] - at least until theres a happy ending or even a point to it all.. lol. cept lifes rarely that tidy and it was fun sharing the mystery of the 'missing wallet in the wood'. in the end the guy who actually found my wallet has four legs and a waggy tail [:D]

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