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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:31:55 PM

soul2share

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Well, the good news is, he can remember what he's dreaming about, so at least he's having lucid dreams. That said, he needs to get to a doctor yesterday!!!!! A sleep study will give the docs a place to start, but I agree...these dreams don't sound like normal nightmares. My son had night terrors, he was never violent...it was just the opposite, he was actually almost paralyzed...every joint in his little body would lock up tight until I could get him to wake up.

And I wouldn't sleep with him at all......not until he gets this under control....while he doesn't want to consciously hurt you, what he does in his sleep is entirely something else. He's striking out at someone, you just happen to be there. That isn't going to make the pain hurt any less just because you weren't the intended target. My ex-uncle once assaulted his wife in his sleep because he was having a bad dream about Viet Nam and she tried to "gently" wake him...he almost broke her jaw, and dislocated her shoulder.

Good luck to both of you, I hope you can find the solution!

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:43:33 PM

pahunkboy

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One will sleep better by feng shui.

That is the flow of energy in ones home.

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Post #: 22

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 3:37:22 PM

HisSweetElysium

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At the moment He's on anti-anxiety meds, I am not sure what they are called. He is under an incredible amount of stress right now, with the end of the semester. He departs a week from today for holidays with His family, and then will be back. He will see His psychiatrist at that time, and perhaps He needs a different prescription or an additional one, like Tras.

For some reason His family seems to be a significant part of all this. They seem to be lovely people, I have met them, but much of this fighting has to do with them, and the last time this happened He was showing me home movies of when He was young and I specifically said "I hope this doesn't cause you to have a bad night Master." I guess it could be coincidental, but I don't know. I will worry for Him while He is home, and I guess for myself after He comes back from being with them for a week. I will talk to Him about sleeping me sleeping on the couch.

Many thanks for the advice and support, it's greatly appreciated!

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Post #: 23

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 3:40:10 PM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

At the moment He's on anti-anxiety meds, I am not sure what they are called. He is under an incredible amount of stress right now, with the end of the semester. He departs a week from today for holidays with His family, and then will be back. He will see His psychiatrist at that time, and perhaps He needs a different prescription or an additional one, like Tras.

For some reason His family seems to be a significant part of all this. They seem to be lovely people, I have met them, but much of this fighting has to do with them, and the last time this happened He was showing me home movies of when He was young and I specifically said "I hope this doesn't cause you to have a bad night Master." I guess it could be coincidental, but I don't know. I will worry for Him while He is home, and I guess for myself after He comes back from being with them for a week. I will talk to Him about sleeping me sleeping on the couch.

Many thanks for the advice and support, it's greatly appreciated!

A good plan.

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Post #: 24

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 5:15:56 PM

igor2003

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

I didn't say that I thought it would be the same way for everyone....only that this is what triggers violent dreams for me. And it has happened often enough that, for me, it is not just coincidence. Other people could have other triggers. Or it could be something totally different which is why I suggested they keep a log every day so that they can see what things might coincide in their own lives. I'm sure some people actually thrive in hotter rooms. I'm not one of them.

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Post #: 25

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 5:22:22 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

I didn't say that I thought it would be the same way for everyone....only that this is what triggers violent dreams for me. And it has happened often enough that, for me, it is not just coincidence. Other people could have other triggers. Or it could be something totally different which is why I suggested they keep a log every day so that they can see what things might coincide in their own lives. I'm sure some people actually thrive in hotter rooms. I'm not one of them.

I had the impression that's what you were saying so thanks for clarifying. I agree witth you on the hot room thingy, I can't stand them either, especially for sleeping

Zeph

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Post #: 26

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 6:45:36 PM

servantforuse

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Maybe you are doing something to make your boyfriends react that way ?

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Post #: 27

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 6:48:27 PM

littlewonder

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It IS kinda strange that both of your bfs reacted strangely during sleep...hhmm...ya gotta wonder....

But your bf definitely needs to see a psych and an md asap before something worse happens. I personally would not even be in the same room as such a man until he had it under control. I'd be wondering when he was gonna snap next.

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Post #: 28

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 6:56:00 PM

HisSweetElysium

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LOL well my last boyfriend had this starting at about age 11, so I doubt it had anything to do with me. Perhaps he had a premonition he would be dating such a terrible woman. As I said, Master's father has a similar problem, though up until now it has only been mentioned as extreme talking in His sleep. He's never cohabitated with a woman, so perhaps I'm just around to be a witness more than past gfs. Or His stress is greater, in graduate school?

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Post #: 29

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 8:19:23 PM

Kirata

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

He departs a week from today for holidays with His family, and then will be back...

For some reason His family seems to be a significant part of all this... much of this fighting has to do with them

You don't say how long this has been going on. But what you do say, here, makes me think that the approaching visit with his parents may be behind the problem, or making it worse. At any rate, I think your observations above pretty much identify this as something that needs to be resolved psychotherapeutically, i.e., that the cause isn't environmental or physiological.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 12/13/2009 8:21:54 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 8:25:22 PM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
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OP:

possibilities...

*Hypogylcemia....low blood sugar..night sweats and linked to anti -social and violent behavour .......yep..

*Medication:..medications can cause all sorts of crap...I was VIOLENT ON PROZAC!
if he is on medication he must haev got it for a reason?? what was it???( ot did I msis that?)

*SAFETY:as he relaxs he fights something deeply hidden and feels SAFE enough with you that it occurs..

YOU CANNOT FIX THIS....HE HAS TO....you can provide support...and take care of YOU

GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 12/13/2009 8:26:05 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 8:44:00 PM

MMagic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

We are all different and that little switch may be what stops HIM from having night terrors and may do nothing at all to you. Not necessarily a coincidence. I'll provide you an example. My grandmother suffers from thyroid problems and I have EB. The symptoms are similar enough that both of our doctors tested us for the other. So on persons night terrors from getting too hot may do nothing to another person. That's the nature of medicine..figuring out what's wrong with one person and then providing the right treatment, not applying the same treatment to everyone because the symptoms are similar. (I'm not saying you said any of what I said above, just pointing out that you can't make a sweeping diagnoses based soley on your own experiences..she's getting good advice which is a good starting place for her, but certainly not a solution. )

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Post #: 32

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 12:31:23 AM

Termyn8or

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I haven't even jumped through, this is my reply.

Get separate beds. Whatever is making him do this is way beyond you and a discussion forum, no matter how highly I think of the crowd here.

People have loved each other and slept separately thoughout the millenia, why can't you ? No reason. What someone does in their sleep is not within their control, and if they are dangerous on a local level like that, you or they must accomodate.

That is if you want to keep your current life.

Some people need an automatic transmission, others need a cetain type of soap. You need two beds. You need a separate bed, so what, get one. If preserves a relationship you deem worthy you do it.

He can't help what he does when asleep, and the reasons need not be explored at this time. You simply have to do what you have to do. Also, if he really hurt you he would feel like shit probably, so it is better for all concerned no ?

I'll read through later, but understand. Get a bed, no hard feelings but you sleep in it. Nothing personal. I mean well I guess it is but....... you know what I mean. He does not mean it, it's just part of the deal.

Both of you might miss the company at night, but you know what ? You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes..........

T

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Post #: 33

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 3:28:12 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
Get separate beds. Whatever is making him do this is way beyond you and a discussion forum, no matter how highly I think of the crowd here.

I second that proposal.

Also: there may be a real war going on in his mind, between the different parts of his mind. Not anything one can do about that, but perhaps seeing other people as friends instead of enemies and adversaries, as people to work with instead of to oppose and work against, may transfer to his dream existence.

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Post #: 34

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 3:43:36 AM

NeedToUseYou

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Start making sex sounds, feigning orgasm or whatnot. He will hear it, and his dream will morph into a sex fantasy.

HEHE, worth a try.

Sorta joking, but I know if I leave something playing when I fall asleep often portions of it, integrate into what I'm dreaming.

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Post #: 35

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 2:04:07 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

th I'll look up the meds, I'm reluctant to encourage Him to pursue that, as I tend to be a bit wary. I mentioned the possibility of a homeopathic sleep aid, knowing that dreams take place in level 1 sleep, and also knowing that things like this happen when sleep paralysis is not working properly. The sleep aid I have contains Valerian Root though (sp) and He mentioned having adverse reactions in the past.

I'm a little puzzled by your reluctance to consider medication, since you seem to be thinking of a herbal sleep aide - especially since the herbal remedies aren't regulated by any agency. In other words - what you are getting may not be what you think it is.

Over-the-counter medications and potions aren't necessarily safer just because you don't need a prescription for them.

And Sir has woken me before because i was fighting in a dream, and kicking the snot out of him at the same time!!! hehe - i was really sorry about it.

It may end up being normal, but a sleep study is warrented, as has been suggested.

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Post #: 36

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 5:27:22 PM

peachgirl

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I've had what I call a very "active" sleep for my entire adult life. I scream, I yell, I yell profanities, I make no sense at other times, occasionally accompanied by thrashing, swinging limbs, etc.

there are two things that always make a difference for me: NO dairy products before bedtime (ie, no glass of warm milk) and preferably nothing eaten before bedtime. the second revolves around my meds...I have only been on them the past few years, and I take two different ones, one in the morning and one at night. if for some reason I don't take the nighttime one, I will be screaming that night, guaranteed.

I would definitely agree with those advocating a dr. visit, and a sleep study if viable.

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Post #: 37

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 5:36:48 PM

winterlight

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I haven't read all of the comments but is he taking Ambien or anything to help him sleep.

Some people report having bad effects from Ambien...just wondering....

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Post #: 38

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 5:46:13 PM

DesFIP

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Full physical and sleep clinic. This may well be a physical problem. Is he losing weight? If so, ask them to test his thyroid as many times that is the cause for rage.

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Post #: 39

RE: Violent dreams - 12/14/2009 6:44:05 PM

switch2please

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Post-traumatic stress disorder should be considered - it is relative to experience. There is a higher recorded percentage of war vets diagnosed with PTSD, but I'd imagine they are also tested for it more than any other demographic. You might be surprised how many teenage girls fit the profile, too, just surviving high school.

I don't have any advice to offer that hasn't already been suggested, but good luck!

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Post #: 40

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