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N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marriage bill - 12/7/2009 9:43:05 PM   
LafayetteLady


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NJ has become one step closer. As someone with gay friends who are waiting for this bill, I am delighted to see this.

N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marriage bill
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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/8/2009 6:59:53 AM   
Lucylastic


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That is excellent news, I hope it passes the next stage.... I was gobsmacked at a couple of the comments against the bill, but I should know better shouldnt I.




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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/8/2009 11:50:45 AM   
pahunkboy


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To any eligible men- I am datable.  Looking but not desperate.

I have baggage and expect you to as well.   While looks are nice- a mind is even better.

For Christmas- I would like peace on earth.

Tho is is a nice thought for the state to recognize gay marriage... as a gay male- I wish the pickings were alot better then they are.

I am tho- happy for anyone who does find love- :-)

PS- being single is not so bad...  ;-)

(in reply to Lucylastic)
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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/8/2009 12:01:58 PM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

That is excellent news, I hope it passes the next stage.... I was gobsmacked at a couple of the comments against the bill, but I should know better shouldnt I.



Yes, you should know better, lol. I hope it passes. My best friend from college is in love and wants to get married. I want to go to her wedding!

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/8/2009 3:51:08 PM   
flcouple2009


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What amazes me is the people who keep insisting we should vote on what marriage should be or whether gays should be allowed to marry.

If we had held a national vote in 1920 asking if woman should have the right to vote, how do you think that would have worked out?

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/8/2009 8:59:46 PM   
LafayetteLady


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I am really not sure what point you are trying to make. Women had to fight for the right to vote. It was something that they should have and they got it. But of course many didn't think they had the ability to form an intelligent enough opinion about the candidates, or the issues to be able to vote. Many also thought they would simply vote however their husband told them to.

In NJ, we currently have something called a "civil union." It was SUPPOSED to give gays all the same rights as married people without offending those who got on their religious soap box saying that "marriage" was defined by the bible, torah, etc. and must be between a man and a woman. Problem is that civil unions DON'T give them all the same rights. Many health insurance plans do not recognize civil union partners. Hospitals will frequently deny a civil union partner the rights that married partners have regarding health issues.

There has been more than a significant of scientific research that shows a person doesn't choose to be homosexual. My best friend from college has known since she was in elementary school that she preferred girls over boys. It is not genetic, it is not something that is culturally taught. Children of gay parents don't grow up to be gay because that is what they were taught growing up.

There has been so many of the most ridiculous statements and thoughts regarding homosexuality, it is hard to believe that people can be that ignorant and uneducated to me. People have stated the belief that all homosexuals are pedophiles and will molest children. REGARDLESS of the fact that the statistics regarding pedophiles clearly shows that the majority of pedophiles are heterosexual males. Men frequently worry that gay men are going to make a pass at them and try to "change" them. The majority of gay men aren't interested in changing straight males, but that doesn't stop those guys from worrying. People have stated the homosexuals are all promiscuous, and just want to have sex, again with no basis in fact.

I have had the honor of knowing gay couples whose relationships have lasted longer than most marriages. If marriage is a "religious" term, then the states shouldn't have the ability to regulate it or create laws about divorce or anything concerning marriage (separation of church and state). The man in California who is passing the petition to have California law ban divorce is trying to make a point. If marriage is so sacred, and needs to be "protected" from people who would sully its purpose, then people shouldn't be able to get divorced. Yes, his petition is tongue in cheek to show how ludicrous Prop 8 is, but it makes a point.

If we are going to say that marriage is about religious right and wrong, let's abolish it from the states control. Let's make everyone have "civil unions." In Germany, couple have two ceremonies, a civil one and a religious one. Why not do something similar to keep those people who think it is all about religion happy? How about if the states no longer recognize marriages who only had a religious ceremony? How about if we tell them their partnership no longer has any legal protection because it is not a legal partnership if they didn't also have the non denominational civil ceremony performed. The only way they can "divorce" is through their religious leaders. No equitable distribution or support that is legally binding in the courts. When their partner becomes ill, the other spouse can't make any decisions about what needs to be done because they have no legal authority to do so.

Here within the BDSM community there are many who believe their "collars" are more binding than that "wedding ring." Perhaps for them it is psychologically. But legally, that collar holds no power. Legally, if all you have is a collar, you are in the same position as gay partners. Sure you can create many legal documents that offer some protection, such as advanced directives, powers of attorney, wills, etc. But you will never be recognized as "next of kin."

The bottom line (which so many here should be able to appreciate) is that it is no easy task to find that special person to spend your life with. Whenever it happens, everyone should rejoice that those people have found each other, and those people should have the ability LEGALLY to share their lives in the way they see fit. For those who don't like it, it doesn't affect your life. It doesn't take anything away from what you have. People within the BDSM community would like the world "at large" to accept the lifestyles that they have chosen, how could they then turn around and tell others that their lifestyle should not be accepted?

(in reply to flcouple2009)
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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/9/2009 9:35:05 AM   
Lucylastic


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My godmothers are lesbians, and have been together 50 years next year. They wont get married now, but they are very happy to see it becoming reality for so many others. 

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/9/2009 11:15:08 AM   
flcouple2009


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Why are you all up in a bunch Lafayette.

My point is would woman have the right to vote if in 1920 the voters (all of whom would have been male) would have approved that?

Especially the far Christian wants to put things up for a vote, define marriage and such.  They forget this is not really that kind of democracy. 

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/9/2009 4:14:37 PM   
ShoreBound149


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Soon gay people in New Jersey will be able to "formally" fail at long term relationships 50% of the time ...The only people happier about this news than Jersey homosexuals are Jersey lawyers.



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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/9/2009 10:08:09 PM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: flcouple2009

Why are you all up in a bunch Lafayette.

My point is would woman have the right to vote if in 1920 the voters (all of whom would have been male) would have approved that?

Especially the far Christian wants to put things up for a vote, define marriage and such.  They forget this is not really that kind of democracy. 



I'm not "up in a bunch" but I am very passionate about the issue. Am I a lesbian? Not one tiny little inkling. I'm also not very politically inclined about much at all. The right for gays to marry is a big one though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

Soon gay people in New Jersey will be able to "formally" fail at long term relationships 50% of the time ...The only people happier about this news than Jersey homosexuals are Jersey lawyers.




I'm going to assume that this is nothing but sarcasm. If you knew much about Matrimonial/Family Law in the state of NJ, you would know that regardless of whether or not gays are given the right to marry, Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions must be severed in pretty much the same way as a married couple divorcing. I think most people are more concerned that homosexuals will be better able to maintain their marriage and NOT divorce quite as quickly, which will just screw up one of their chief arguments that homosexuals are really just into sex.

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/10/2009 3:00:12 PM   
Irishknight


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Gays should not be allowed to marry until I say so.... SO!!!! I wish it was that easy to get past all the bigots pretending to be righteous.

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/10/2009 3:39:16 PM   
Wolf2Bear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

Soon gay people in New Jersey will be able to "formally" fail at long term relationships 50% of the time ...The only people happier about this news than Jersey homosexuals are Jersey lawyers.




*snort*

I hope you would realize that even though the LGBT community wants the right to marry and be legally recognized, is primarily based on the fact that we simply want that option to marry IF WE so choose. Not all gays and lesbians will rush out to get married as many have no intention to do so but simply want that option - exactly like a straight couple who may or may not decide to wed.

Just look at it this way: seems to me that it's many straight couples who've already "formally" failed at marriage originally.


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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/11/2009 5:18:54 PM   
ShoreBound149


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

Soon gay people in New Jersey will be able to "formally" fail at long term relationships 50% of the time ...The only people happier about this news than Jersey homosexuals are Jersey lawyers.




*snort*

I hope you would realize that even though the LGBT community wants the right to marry and be legally recognized, is primarily based on the fact that we simply want that option to marry IF WE so choose. Not all gays and lesbians will rush out to get married as many have no intention to do so but simply want that option - exactly like a straight couple who may or may not decide to wed.

Just look at it this way: seems to me that it's many straight couples who've already "formally" failed at marriage originally.



I'm one of the straights who failed at marriage.  I'm actually for the right of gays to marry.  My cousin is having waaayy too much fun gettin banged by boys in NJ.  I want that that little peckerhead to pay the bills, take out the garbage, mow the lawn, shovel the driveway and see how he likes it. 

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RE: N.J. Senate Judiciary Committee approves gay marria... - 12/11/2009 5:46:00 PM   
ShoreBound149


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: flcouple2009

Why are you all up in a bunch Lafayette.

My point is would woman have the right to vote if in 1920 the voters (all of whom would have been male) would have approved that?

Especially the far Christian wants to put things up for a vote, define marriage and such.  They forget this is not really that kind of democracy. 



I'm not "up in a bunch" but I am very passionate about the issue. Am I a lesbian? Not one tiny little inkling. I'm also not very politically inclined about much at all. The right for gays to marry is a big one though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

Soon gay people in New Jersey will be able to "formally" fail at long term relationships 50% of the time ...The only people happier about this news than Jersey homosexuals are Jersey lawyers.




I'm going to assume that this is nothing but sarcasm. If you knew much about Matrimonial/Family Law in the state of NJ, you would know that regardless of whether or not gays are given the right to marry, Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions must be severed in pretty much the same way as a married couple divorcing. I think most people are more concerned that homosexuals will be better able to maintain their marriage and NOT divorce quite as quickly, which will just screw up one of their chief arguments that homosexuals are really just into sex.

I didn't know shit about matrimonial law until recently.  Don't want to take that course ever again.  I don't think most are against gay marriage due to concerns that it will reveal that homosexual relationships are possibly stronger than straight relationships.  I think the resistance to gay marriage is simply a result of the amount of religious conservatives in political power.  My reality is: No one I know gives a fuck if gays marry.  My cousin "came out" at a family barbecue.  45 seconds later the 23 of us were back to betting on when my Uncle would start telling the story of when he met Joe Dimaggio at the old Vesuvius restaurant in Newark, NJ. 

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