RE: Normal

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DesFIP -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 12:00:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 [sm=bowdown.gif] You are my idol DesFIP -- i find it so hard to conform to the speed limit - so i join all the others with the same issue.(where is a good matter transmitter when you need one?) Cruise control is your friend. Learn to use it and speeding tickets are no more. As far as refusing to do your job? If your job includes assisting in abortions, then be prepared to be fired if you don't. Otherwise find yourself a job where this isn't an issue, like private nursing, or psychiatric unit. Don't accept a job as a surgical nurse and then cause everyone else difficulties. Considering the fact that there is no medical term as miscarriage, your high moral values may include forcing someone with a half expelled dead fetus to carry to term. Sorry no points here for that.

CaringandReal -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 4:09:48 PM)
I conform on the outside at almost all times. It's important to me to fit in and not draw attention to myself...well, until such time as it might be important to do so. My inside however, is a very different story. I've always moved against the flow of the groups around me, whatever the flow happened to be, although I think I could have been much happier if I hadn't done so. But there are just some things I can't bring myself to do. Oh well. This is part of why I like bdsm relationships so much. If I can find one person that I can completely conform to, completely flow with, I feel very happy and secure. I can get from such a relationship that feeling of belonging that is missing because of my unwillingness to become a part of any group.

Roselaure -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 6:54:37 PM)
quote: For a time, if there was a flow, I swam against it. Then I turned 20 [:D] Like anything else, it's a balancing act. There's merit in going with the flow, given the right time and place, but there's also merit in not not joining the herd and asserting your individuality. Problem is, nobody I know really gets individuality. They pin their colours to a certain mast and think they're being rebellious or nonconformist when really they're just taking a different route along the same path as everyone else. Thanks, Fitznicely, very well put. I suppose there are those rare individuals who get it at a very young age, but I know for me, this level of understanding came with age and experience. Not that age necessarily brings wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Roselaure -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 6:58:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Are you saying you won't do anything that anybody else ever does because you want to view yourself as a noncomformist? Limiting your options, that, since in a world this large there's damn little you can do that hasn't been done before. Goodness no, I am saying that it is just as silly to be contrary for the sake of being contrary, as it is to comform for the sake of conforming. I believe that my judgment is pretty good. Generally, I do what I believe to be the right thing. If it's what everyone else does, then I am as as comfortable with that as I am if I am the only one doing it.

Roselaure -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 7:02:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam Conforming is something I've never done well at, from childhood to adult life. I've tried to get a grip on being rebellious and going against the grain just for the sake of doing so. It profited me nothing, and got me into a crap-load of trouble. lol. I have however, had to accept the fact that I simply am not like the majority of other people, and that's just fine with me. If what the majority of the people in the world call "normal" is truly normal, then I'm glad/proud to be a bit different. I believe that each person needs to be true to themselves, and have the courage to live their own truth. Yes, I see a lot of my own experiences in this, Underumam. I am OK with being a bit different. Actually I have grown pretty used to saying something and getting that blank look from the group. [;)]

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 7:14:41 PM)
I have my own mind. I have my own goals. I am willing to conform to the status quo when doing so supports my general goals, and perfectly capable of stepping out of the confines of conformity when it is in my best interests to do so (considering, of course, that my best interests may include consideration of the well-being of those for whom I am responsible or beloved of). In all honesty, while I am not much "in your face", I have never really considered whether the things I am doing are conforming to anyone else's expectations -- only that my own expectations for myself are being met. Calla

elleX -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 7:35:07 PM)
Hi everyone, a good question !, as far as i remember , i always have been * on the side * , so to speak .As a teenager , i felt * non fitting * with my peers in many way ( opinions, music , relations etc. . Some of them interact with me underneath hostility,,,but the more they knowed me the more they wanted get closer to me,,,,wich i never allowed those few ones that hanged with me at the beginning of my adult life , where the ones that could see me as i am from the beginning , did i suffer for that ,,,, yes but not for long ..i now know that i was strong inside thanks for listening

sophiesback -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 8:05:13 PM)
quote: In some circles one is a non-conformist by spelling the word you correctly. [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

kdsub -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 9:12:58 PM)
To me being normal is being alike by NOT conforming. People do conform ...it makes their life easier...but most basic normality's are not conscious choices. Just the way it is for most. The way it is for the majority is not our way... at least in relation to this lifestyle. So in my mind we are not normal... so what? If normal is the wrong word then use mean...or average...or standard...or traditional. Butch

Kyoki -> RE: Normal (11/27/2009 9:56:37 PM)
I have an idea. How about doing something because it's something you like doing? GASP The nerve of this young man! Posting that he does things only because it suits him!

Roselaure -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 4:30:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kyoki I have an idea. How about doing something because it's something you like doing? GASP The nerve of this young man! Posting that he does things only because it suits him! Are you saying that you only do something because you like doing it? Everyone conforms to society's rules to a certain extent, or one doesn't last long. You may want to parade down Main Street naked but something stops you from doing that (I'm assuming).

JudasButcher -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 10:08:01 AM)
My lucey are very far from "conforming" or "being the norm", no matter how anyone looks at us. We are barely out of the suburbs, and grow a big garden, raise chickens, rabbits, turkeys, and have filled the "lawn" with fruit tree's and plants while everyone around me manicures their lawn for the obvious upcoming feature in better homes and gardens. We don't own a television, microwave, coffee pot, or other electric gadgets that peopole rely on. We wash clothes in a wringer washer and hang them on a line. After 10 years here, people still stare. I'm a huge metalhead,and always have been. It's nothing to see me on a warm summer day out working the gardens with Slayer cranking from the garage, wearing bib overalls with a concert shirt underneath. Just because I am 44 doesnt mean I have to stop listening to my music and take up a Carpenters collection any more than luceys sisters think its not normal for a woman to have long hair over 40. We're also pagan, which even in this day and age is still "not normal' with a large majority of people. Then toss in kink, and we're as odd as they get to most people. We don't do anything we do for the attention or shock factor, we just are who we are. Do I care what others think? Not at all. Our interests run far and wide, and we embrace every one of them. We have kink friends, gardening friends, pagan friends, homesteading friends, music friends, and others we have known our entire lives. Those who don't accept us for one aspect of our lives aren't around long. I don't have time in my life to try to conform, or do I have time to explain why I do this or that. I'm just me, take it or leave it.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 10:24:30 AM)
Actually, you have the right to refuse to do anything that goes against your morals - for instance, you can refuse to assist with an organ harvest (not a problem for me) if you consider morally that you are killing a living human. And you won't find many surgical nurses that consider a miscarraige to be an abortion. A dead baby is not an abortion. Since most abortions are performed in a clinic specialising in them, the issue really doesn't come up very often. and back to your regularly scheduled thread.[:)]

Missokyst -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 10:40:22 AM)
Conforming is what keeps society running smoothly. People park in one spot, drive within a certain range of speed, and use the appropriate sex bathrooms when they need them. We all conform in one way or another unless we live off the grid somewhere, and even those I know who do live off the grid, will conform to society when they travel back into towns. Even those that are supposed non-conformists, conform to their own groups ideologies. I don't for instance, see a lot of goth kids who are dressed in those one pattern amish dresses with the small hat, instead of the regulation fashion statement. I conform by joining in on the world. I make myself go out and socialize like normal people do. But in my life I mostly chose to go my own way, a loner among a flock.

Acer49 -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 11:52:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Roselaure In reading posts on another thread, I began thinking about "normalcy" and "conformity". Conforming for the sake of conformity is not something I am into. Conversely, though, neither is not comforming for the sake of non conformity. People who shock to be shocking, who are different just to be different, don't hold any more appeal to me than the George Babbitts of the world who are determined to conform to society's rules at all costs. So how do you view conformity? When up against it, conform or not conform, that is the question. I neither attempt to conform, nor do I attempt to be a non conformist. I do what is right for me but I do take into consideration other people's feelings

cpK69 -> RE: Normal (11/28/2009 4:19:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Roselaure So how do you view conformity? When up against it, conform or not conform, that is the question. It is far more important to me to find truth, then to worry about what the majority thinks. If I go along with them, it is because I believe there is truth in doing so, not for the sake of being one of them. For the sake of balance, I rarely say much, when I do agree. My goal is never to shock or rile others up; that just comes natural. Kim

aldompdx -> RE: Normal (11/29/2009 6:14:42 AM)
>conform or not conform... That is not the question. Life is not black and white. I enjoyed the movie "Pleasantville." One is neither a total narcissist or a total empath. Statistically speaking, at the median of a gaussian curve characterizing the distribution of personalities, there is one single "normal" person out of billions. That actually makes the most normal person the wierdest person in the world.

Underumam -> RE: Normal (11/29/2009 6:23:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JudasButcher My lucey are very far from "conforming" or "being the norm", no matter how anyone looks at us. We are barely out of the suburbs, and grow a big garden, raise chickens, rabbits, turkeys, and have filled the "lawn" with fruit tree's and plants while everyone around me manicures their lawn for the obvious upcoming feature in better homes and gardens. We don't own a television, microwave, coffee pot, or other electric gadgets that peopole rely on. We wash clothes in a wringer washer and hang them on a line. After 10 years here, people still stare. I'm a huge metalhead,and always have been. It's nothing to see me on a warm summer day out working the gardens with Slayer cranking from the garage, wearing bib overalls with a concert shirt underneath. Just because I am 44 doesnt mean I have to stop listening to my music and take up a Carpenters collection any more than luceys sisters think its not normal for a woman to have long hair over 40. We're also pagan, which even in this day and age is still "not normal' with a large majority of people. Then toss in kink, and we're as odd as they get to most people. We don't do anything we do for the attention or shock factor, we just are who we are. Do I care what others think? Not at all. Our interests run far and wide, and we embrace every one of them. We have kink friends, gardening friends, pagan friends, homesteading friends, music friends, and others we have known our entire lives. Those who don't accept us for one aspect of our lives aren't around long. I don't have time in my life to try to conform, or do I have time to explain why I do this or that. I'm just me, take it or leave it. lol. I remember those old wringer arm washers. Very time consuming. Nice to hear that you folks are living your dreams, and seem contented in them.

JudasButcher -> RE: Normal (11/29/2009 11:17:04 AM)
That we are Underumam, and we are very content. Not to hijack the thread, but I can honestly say that we have grown much together by living the way we do. We garden together, we harvest together, we cook/bake bread/can together, nearly everything we do together. Even laundry with that old wringer washer is time spent together. One washes, the other rinses,and we go out together to hang them. The evenings are spent around a home cooked meal, usually all from our own property, and followed by reading, talking, or playing board games. (when we aren't in the playroom of course lol) Without the idiot box as a distraction, we discuss every aspect of our daily lives, from her day at work, to my job search, to that very cool flogger I saw for sale last night. It's a wonderful life with a wonderful woman to share it with. I've yet to see another one that will gladly bake bread when shackled to the kitchen counter. :-)

Underumam -> RE: Normal (11/29/2009 11:22:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JudasButcher That we are Underumam, and we are very content. Not to hijack the thread, but I can honestly say that we have grown much together by living the way we do. We garden together, we harvest together, we cook/bake bread/can together, nearly everything we do together. Even laundry with that old wringer washer is time spent together. One washes, the other rinses,and we go out together to hang them. The evenings are spent around a home cooked meal, usually all from our own property, and followed by reading, talking, or playing board games. (when we aren't in the playroom of course lol) Without the idiot box as a distraction, we discuss every aspect of our daily lives, from her day at work, to my job search, to that very cool flogger I saw for sale last night. It's a wonderful life with a wonderful woman to share it with. I've yet to see another one that will gladly bake bread when shackled to the kitchen counter. :-) I've lived the life you folks are now living. Our occupation was survival, heck- we even had to carry our own water on a daily basis, cook/heat on wood fired stoves, hunt, garden, built our own house from trees on the property, and so forth....My ex and I birthed/raised our daughter there, it was truly a sacred time my life.... All the best to you!!

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