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kiwisub12 -> RE: Christmas, or your celebrated holiday, is a time for ... (11/25/2009 6:59:36 PM)
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Christmas is for remembering childhood, with roasted chicken and ham, and Dad leaving after eating to make hay, and going to the beach Boxing Day. Now, it is deliberately not putting up a tree - because i don't want to, and putting the nativity on the hearth, and a wreath on the door and decorating is finished, and cooking for Sir and i and my ums, and opening pressys, and washing lots of dishes. Its for thinking of sacrifices, and motherhood and family and traditions. Its for contemplating how things are different now than they were when i was young and deciding which bits of memories are the important ones. Its remembering Midnight Mass and sitting on the choir step and listening to my Dad sing Christmas carols while holding a candle - carols can still make me tear up. Its trying to suppress my yearnings to be a child again with none of the work , none of the regrets, none of the ambiguities of being an adult. 99% of the time i love being an adult, 52, and independent (so-to-speak), but Christmas time makes me long for utopia, and that rings out as a child. Not the one i was, but the one on tv - innocent , carefree, and never cross or angry or frustrated. ack !!!! - apparently Christmas time can also make me maudlin!!![:'(]
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