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OP: A new relationship with trust issues isn't unique in any way shape or form. Like someone else mentioned, one or the other of you has to be the one to let go first. If the chemistry is as good as you say, then it should be an easy step to break the cycle.

Of course, you need trust on both sides to embark on a Ds relationship. If you find that your partner can't let his side of this whole defensive pre-emptive-strike been-hurt-before-so-I-can't-let-you-in-either thing go, then sorry, but that'd be a red flag. Either forget the Ds and be happy with the relationship as it is right now, or move on.

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ORIGINAL: sireninchains

Let me clairify, I do love him, and we are polyfidelitous, which means there is no primary, all parts of the relationship is treated equally and as primaries.

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Not very helpful but ......... after such a short few months, to have these amount of problems I'd be seriously thinking that it's *not the best thing , for me , for you , for us, right now*...no matter what the *chemistry* feels like. No blame.

And *amount of problems??* its one problem... Im actually really dissapointed in everyone, because I asked for help, not hinderances. So many people here are telling me to break up with him, when there is no reason to end a wonderful relationship. And trust me, its wonderful, when i say chemistry, i dont mean good sex (yes, the sex is good, but thats not what i meant) I meant we are on the same wavelength. In everything, we click. So in this one issue I want help with fixing it, through advice and exercises. Yes, I know that couples therapy could help, and maybe I will, but thats not my first option..

Any other ideas?

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ORIGINAL: sireninchains

I have been dating a guy for about five months (since Aug 5, if anyone wants to do the math) and I love him, I think. The relationship is great, we've had some bumps but we have worked through them. But we have hit a serious roadblock now and I could use advice. I have been seriously burned and hurt in the past and it makes it extremely difficult for me to trust ANYONE, friends, family, and especially lovers. I know thats my own problem and I've been seeing counselors about that for a long time, but theres only so much that can be done in an office, some things need to be worked out privately. He has his own issues, making trust hard. We have gotten to the point where our not having full trust in each other is causing fights, and I am not sure how to progress. We didn't start out as a D/s relationship but it is developing into a Daddy/babygirl relationship and I want it to continue in that direction. I want to be able to fully submit to him but thats not possible at that time.

The question is this, how do we break this standoff/tie/whatever we want to call it without breaking a great relationship? We have excellent chemistry. Does anyone know of any excercises or advice? Has anyone been through anything similar? I want to help us move forward, not stagnate.

Ava